Di’s Evolving

 

A question popped up in another group this morning ‘How have you evolved?’

 

Confidence, self esteem, beoming a better person, how have you evolved

 

It got me thinking of my journey, what I used to think and how I think today.

Some of the ways I have evolved through confidence, resilience and working on me are:

 I lacked confidence, now my quiet inner confidence is my driving force.

 I was scared witless of speaking in public – today I love and enjoy it

 I had an over developed sense of responsibility, I thought I had to ‘fix’ everything and everybody – today I know I am responsible for me

 I was a worrier, there were times when I worried if there was nothing to worry about. Today I am a work in progress, today I face life, change what I can and mostly accept what I can’t.

 I was a control freak, I thought I knew what was best for all. Today I love taking care of me and living my life being the best version of me.

 I worried about my appearance, I worried endlessly because I had small breasts, I thought if I didn’t have a mouth you wouldn’t know the front from the back of me – today I love and appreciate my body, my stature and my gracious aging.

 I thought I was not good enough, today I know I am definitely enough.

 I took things personally. today as a work in progress I know I am not responsible for how others see and behave towards me, it is how I react that matters. As the saying goes what other people think of me is none of my business.

 I was ashamed of my past now I fully accept what happened. I have taken years, taken the time to go within and work on myself. Writing and journalling evolved into self publishing that story. I lived and breathed it, spoke about it and run programs about it. It was the catalyst for what I do today.

 I lost my sense of self after years of being the carer and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and finding myself alone and starting over. I found a strong, warmer more compassionate woman, I like her.

 I thought I could not cope alone, in fact I have coped with my new life exceedingly well. A friend told me after Les passed away that life could still be great, wonderful and in fact even better than before. I have proven that to be true.

I judged myself to the eenth degree, today I love, honour, forgive and support myself.

 I used to be hyperactive, I now direct my time and energy more wisely and appreciate the vast stores of energy that have sustained and supported me through my life.

 I didn’t think I had a leadership bone in my body, my 40 years in Toastmasters proved differently and shown my level of competence in communication and leadership.es when I look back I wonder who that woman was, what she was thinking – I scarcely recognise her. It is not what happens to me but how react and who I become because of it. I love and appreciate the woman I am today as I keep in mind I am being the best version of me I can be.

 

Confidence, seeing with new lens, self esteem

 

 This list may inspire you to write yours. I invite you to stop and consider how have you evolved? How does your list look? I would love to hear from you, reach out to me here or at di@diriddell.com

 

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When It Feels Like Life Is Falling Apart…And It’s Mothers Day.

 

mothers day, happy, alone OK

 

We have this ‘societal norm’ that all is calm, peaceful, happy and loving on Mothers Day. And it can be, in fact it is wonderful when that happens…however it takes a special kind of confidence to speak out… when it is not happening.

I am here to tell you it OK to reach out. It is OK if you are having rough patch in life. That happy scene was my reality for many years and I loved it, appreciated it and looked forward to it. Then one day… it did not happen, the joy had been sucked out of my life.

Today, you are probably sick to the back teeth of happy gift ads everywhere you look. You know, the ones where they are assuming the whole planet is in a happy state and well cashed up.  And that could be whether you are surrounded by loving families or not. It is commercialism at its worst.

Am I being ‘Negative Nellie’? No, I am sending loving thoughts to those who are not surrounded by loved ones today. Some may be estranged from their families for a myriad of reasons, some may be grieving over the loss of a loved one, others divorced or separated and prevented from seeing their children.  Apart from dealing with your life, the constant marketing of ‘happy mother’ is in your face and it hurts.

A million thoughts may be spinning through your head and that ‘monkey mind’ may be chattering, very loudly in your ear with the ‘what if’s’ resounding through your brain.

Why am I writing about this? Because today maybe you are alone. Remember, you are OK, you will survive and life will get better.

If you know someone who is hurting, my words may offer help and comfort to them. If so feel free to share…

Now is the time to say, ‘everyday has only 24 hours’,  ’this too shall pass’…. and ‘life has no rule book… and love does not come with a guarantee. ‘

Mothers Day is an emotionally charged day that may leave you feeling flat, confused and fuzzy.

 Tips ‘just for you’…

  • Give yourself loads of love and self care.. avoid the what if’s, seek joy in unexpected places.
  • It is not what has happened to you…it is how you handle it. This is part of your journey…life taking an unexpected detour…you can do this
  • What makes you happy? It may be going for a walk, having a bubble bath, reading good book, journaling, music or something else. do some of that.
  • Avoid isolating…go to a movie, volunteer. get out and do something
  • Seek and express gratitude and joy – for what you do have, for the beautiful memories you do have.
  • Remember life is a gift, make the most of it

From me…‘The hand of friendship does not stop at the wrist…it extends all the way to the heart… so from my heart to your heart…and to you if you are alone…make this one amazing day – for you! 

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Putting Things In Perspective

 

I know, I know you always have things in perspective, it is the other one who doesn’t. Right?

Many of us can can delude ourselves for just so long before the cracks begin to appear. It is often  our nearest and dearest who gets to point it out.

My nemisis for years after I was living alone was THE COMPUTER. It drove me crazy and my skills at that time were zilch so that should come as any surprise. It was a perfect example of letting something blow out of proportion – and I had perfected the art! The blood, sweat and tears I shed, the energy I wasted and having little ‘tanti’s’ did not help. Staring  till I became almost cross eyed did not help either.

 

computer lieracy, computer illiterate, lack confidence

 

 

Over time I improved and thought I had a reasonable handle on what I needed to do. Ahha! If there is one thing  you should never tell your computer, it is that you are doing pretty good, don’t even whisper it…it can hear you! That is when ‘my perspective’ or lack of it got in the way. Take a few moments to watch and see…

 

 

If you find yourself in doing someting similar in an area of your life (it may not be the computer for you), take a moment to stop, step back and breathe. Finding the lighter side and having a laugh relieves and stress and can even give you a dose of reality.

I hope this content caused you to smile, maybe squirm because you know you do it to. I hope it is helpful, I love sharing stories that demonstrate that we can be our own worst enemy. I would love to hear your experiences and invite you to reach out to me by leaving a comment or drop me a line at di@diriddell.com.

Till next time cheerio! Di

 

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What changed my way of thinking?

 

One incredible moment in time became the catalyst for my new life. I realised a woman’s total package goes way beyond anything I had ever dreamt. Beyond the physical, it stretches to embrace the emotional, spiritual and shadow sides.

confidence, self esteem, spiritual, emotional

 

If I have learned one thing from my quietly confident self, it is to follow my heart. If something does not feel right then it probably isn’t and an avalanche of emotions can leave you wanting to hide, to run, to seek safety when in fact the learning’s are within you waiting to be released – yet you are blind to it at  times of intense challenge.

There I was sitting with friends in the dappled sunlight on the verandah of a hospital room. It was September 4th 2002. The conversation flittered from subject to subject. We all knew why we were there.  The warm and fuzzy I was getting from their presence was shattered by an earth shattering scream of ‘Dianne -come quick’.

 Three paces took me to my husband’s bedside and 3 minutes later he was gone. Three things hit me – I was alone, I was scared and I did not want to accept it. The love of my life, the man who showed me unconditional love and the man who had adored me for 31 years lay lifeless before me.

Little did I know that this was to be a pivotal experience that would lead to a changed outlook on my life. That it would help me to release the shackles of my past and allow me to make a difference in the lives of other women.

How I would love to say, I picked up, pushed on and positively shone from my every pore. No, no, no! It was however time, time for me to be catapulted into the life of a widow. How that term grated on me as I groped and clawed my way forward. Today, looking back I scarcely recognise that woman.

 

confidence, fears, low confidence, low self esteem

 

My coping mechanism was to work harder, faster and longer  than I ever had before. I was totally involved in anything and everything. I cleaned and fussed and pushed, pushed and pushed harder. I have never liked eating alone – so I stopped eating. It was not a conscious decision to lose weight it just seemed natural to my confused brain.

12 kgs fell from an already tall, slim frame. One morning I just could not do anything. My body had come to a screaming halt and I knew I needed help. The flurry began to Dr’s, psychologists and my self help journey began and gradually gained momentum.

It was a huge challenge for me to take that first step. Dealing with my grief sent me back to face significant early childhood challenges. In brief I had a violent alcoholic father who told me I was stupid, useless and worthless. Mental abuse was the order of the day, physical violence was directed at my mother with the implication that I was next. I spent a lonely, frightened and unhappy childhood. As a young teenager I had absolutely no self confidence, no self esteem and no self belief. At the age of 15 I went looking for love and rape found me – pack rape.  A pregnancy and an adoption resulted. The welfare workers in the 1960′s were controlling, overbearing and lacked compassion. Their words rang in my ears – ‘you are a disgrace to yourself, your family, Nambour, Queensland, Australia, the Universe and everything in between. No decent man will ever want you – go nursing and get out of society’s way’.

So I did, I became officious and efficient. Every TV show you ever saw with a bitch Matron, I was it, that was my persona.  Life was tough, discipline was tougher and it was there that I developed the resilience and tenacity that would serve me well throughout my life.  I met and married a man with 4 children ages 10-16 and I was 24. We added our own son to the mix, life was full, busy, challenging and we loved it.  I was safe,  loved and cherished.

 Then suddenly, life as I knew it was gone.

 

 5 things that supported me through my years of change were:

  1. Acknowledging and accepting that I was responsible for my own life and what happens to me. This was not always easy. We are meant to enjoy life and be filled with health, vitality and confidence.
  2. Developing and honing my confidence and my resilience by continually embracing the changes in my new life. To seek joy, happiness and enjoy all the little things that make me smile. It is possible to have moments of enjoyment even in the midst of chaos.
  3. Journaling daily, it constantly re-programs my mind for what I want to bring into my life. It is from that place that I attract and receive. That has now extended to blogging for mature women.
  4. Learning and practicing techniques and processes that I use to this day help me to continue to grow as a person.
  5. Developing the art of forgiveness and gratitude. Part of my journey was writing and self publishing my story, called ‘Beyond Abuse’. In order to be able to write that book I needed to come to a point of forgiveness and show gratitude to Dad and the rapists. I could never have written it otherwise. That message has flowed through then, now and into my future. Forgiveness is not a destination it is a process, it does not happen in a heartbeat. Learning to be patient with my process was a learning curve.

As a result I have become richer in life experience, calmer and more compassionate. Today I chose to work with mature women who have been through life changing challenges. I believe that when we face significant  life stressors we need a hand just like I did. A phrase that I have found useful ‘A helping hand does not stop at the wrist it extends to the heart’.

 

love, gratitude, forgiveness, conmfidence, compassion

If you or someone you know has had a similar experience and is starting over I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me here in a comment or at di@diriddell.com. I offer one on one coaching and also a 21 day online Confidence Challenge.

 

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Heels Heels and Higher Heels

 

 Heels heels and heels

 

For those of us in maturity is was almost ‘expected’ that we would be well dressed, we would be ladies, we would wear proper underwear, stockings and HIGH HEELS!

It will make you look and feel confident they said! 

I took to that like a duck to water was all of the above. After I married a man in the sugar industry, I found that conservative industry had the above unwritten rules.
Yes I said, they make my legs look good, yes they compliment my dress, yes it became part of my identity. I wore them in every colour, every style and every height. the higher the better.

Comfort? What a ridiculous notion if the dress demanded it I wore them… for as long as was required. Side effects- aching legs, calf cramps and squashed toes – that was inconsequential, I wore them anyway.

Moving right along several decades, when I had been speaking for many years, always well dressed, always in heels. Suddenly I developed a balance problem, vertigo serious enough to stop me in my tracks and just a few days before I was MC for a 3 day Convention.

The day came and I had to wear my flatties. I did a deal with myself I wore them while organising and stepped into heels when on show or on stage. Wearing heels was such an integral part of my persona and presentation I felt undressed in flatties.

Today I watched a video from an article in the Huffington Post – the link is:

https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/videos/10153871507541130/

A few points to think about:

  • 72% of women have worn heels at some point in their lives
  • The sole of the foot has 200,000 nerve endings that send messages to the brain about the ground we walk on. When we wear heels they mess with the messages.
  • 49% of women ages 18-24 wear heels daily
  • High heels push the hips and spine out of alignment

That has given me food for thought so I have decided my ‘expected’ will be –  well dressed, still a lady, lingerie that suits my style, very occasional hose and flatties most of the time. My reward will be wearing heels for a treat!

It is time for me to transfer the confidence I felt in heels to a new found confidence in my flatties.

 What are your thoughts on heels? Do you wear them? Do you love flatties?

Talking about confidence – I am very excited to be sharing here first my 21 day Confidence Challenge  I am OK, I am ready… http://diriddell.com/?p=1710

Commencing   I am running starting in May 23rd…I would love you to join me. 

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Reflections & 7 Hot Tips For Confidence

 

Reflections can take us so many places… from the active to the passive. It can take us down the should have’s,  what if’s, if only – you get my drift.

Or it can take us down the ‘wow look what I have achieved’. ‘look at the difference I have made in other’s lives’ and the ‘I am proud of the woman I have become’ – you get my drift.

This is my first blog post since mid November. Today I am at a point of reflecting…. if I sit really still the reflection creates clarity – just like the frog, to capture a butterfly in reflection is precious and I see it as a symbol of transformation.

 

Refelctions, positive, confidence,  self esteem

 

If I wriggle  and dash about that reflection becomes distorted and the clarity disappears. I have been doing a lot of the dashing about and doing – life in 2015 was tumultuous in many ways, a year of triumphs and tears, starting and getting thrown off course by life’s events and a year of personal growth..

 

lack of confidence, lack of self eesteem and self worth

 

Maybe you have been down that track also, maybe your confidence has bounced around between triumphs and tears. We are not totally confident all of the time. It waxes and wanes as we go through life, taking on new things, new projects, stretching ourselves, succeeding, still getting there, learning to say no, overcoming challenges and finding a balance that suits your lifestyle.

When things don’t go to plan we can easily let our confidence get bent out of shape – yet it is often in one area yet we allow that to override the positives in  our lives.

 

Confidence beyond 50, Self confidence, overcoming fear, self belief, self worth

 

 

HOT TIPS

 #1 Use your time for reflection as a positive planning tool, not as self flagellation time.

#2 Be realistic – stretching yourself is not about pushing yourself to breaking point.

#3 Ask for help – avoid the stoic ‘I can do it all by myself’ track.

#4 Create a morning ritual to get yourself into a peak performance state. One that suits your lifestyle and you love doing.

#5 Create time for self care and nurture your relationships

#6 Take the time to acknowledge your achievements no matter how small.

#7  Then’ go for it’ whatever that means to you with every fibre of your being.

 

self confidence, self worth, self respect, self esteem

 

Start today and make the changes that will make a difference in your life… don’t know how? Contact me for a  complimentary 20mins session.

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Be Careful What You Wish For

 

I asked… and I received… just not in the way I expected.

My beautiful partner Pete and I have just come back from an amazing week in Fiji. It was everything we could have wished for, perfect weather, super friendly people, fabulous resort and we met loads of terrific people.

 

Confidence relationships, fun, relaxation holidays

 

 We commented to another couple in the spa the night before we left that ‘a week was not quite long enough, 10 days would be just right’...

Be careful what you wish for!

 

To paint the picture we arrived late afternoon so the drive from Nadi airport to DenarauIsland was going into the sunset. I just love tropical sunsets. We booked into the resort and our unit looked to the west, the sun was setting over the water. Gorgeous, warm, tropical, romantic were the words that came to mind.

 

Sunset, colours, relaxation, holidays, fun

 

We spent time lounging around the pool, having a coffee at the beachside cafe,  having a crack at water aerobics, into the hot spa, going for walks and simply relaxing. It was meant to be a relaxing time.

The Fijians are so friendly and helpful. The resort staff always had time to stop and have a chat, I admit nothing happens in a hurry, we weren’t in a  hurry so it was perfect. It is all labour intensive there are staff everywhere, my guess almost as many as guests – OK I exaggerated a teensy bit there.

I loved how while we were out and about the locals would come up and offer help with directions and we spent lots of time on the local ‘yellow buses. They simply help each other and tourists also. Smiles some easily to them and the children with huge brown eyes looked at us timidly. Now I think about it I did not hear a Fijian child cry or throw a tanti the week we were there.

The markets were a visual delight and they take great pride in the display of their fruit and vegetables. Paw-paw is one of my favourite fruits and they were displayed stacked on plates. There was one largish one beside a plate and on enquiring found it was $2. The sounded good to me, it got better – the plate + the big one was $2. What a bargain!

 

Fiji markets

 

A boat cruise sounded pretty good so off to SouthSeaIsland we went, it was a magnificent day, beautiful weather, clear blue water and a great BBQ lunch. There always has to a ‘but’ – when it was time to leave a dinghy with platform seats was transferring us from shore out to the larger catamaran. Safety is not a big concern, and it had 3 steps that sat loosely, very loosely in the sand. I had one foot on the step and was mid air with the other foot when a wave came and knocked the boat sideways, I lost my balance cracked my shin on the step and was thrown against the step support and the step edge. Ouch!

Yep it hurt, hurt like hell… I did not even say ‘goodness gracious me’. I was speechless, it knocked the breath out of me. I have come home sporting the most magnificent huge bruise from the back of my knee to high thigh with a huge lump in the middle. That kept me quiet on the way home, Pete knew I was hurt, I was quiet. Ouch is all I can say even now as I think about it.

 

sun, water, tropical islands, holidays, fun

 

It is 35 years since I was in Fiji and longer for Pete so we decided to go down to the CoralCoast to MauiBay. It was another day in paradise. As we walked down to the pier there was a lady and her young son having a picnic under the trees. She asked us where we were from and we stopped to chat, she invited us to join her for lunch.  Another example of their beautiful generosity.

What a great opportuity to create some mini videos I thought…so away we went on a series on confidence on holidays.

Let’s go back now to the night before we were to leave and us saying that 10 days would be lovely a week was just not quite enough.  Next morning we were up at 4am to get out to the airport for our flight. What a shock to find we were not in the system, we had no booking, despite the e-ticket I was carrying. It had been cancelled, long story.

 Be careful what you wish for…

Fact 1 we did not have a ticket. Fact 2 the flight was full. Fact 3 a ticket later that day was $3,000 each. Fact 4 a flight the next day was $500 each.  We agreed to that, however we had no internet access so the supervisor booked it for us on her I-pad, emailed the e-ticket to herself and said she would print it for us. She had our passports in her hand. She was also busy and was constantly being interrupted.

She duly handed us back our passports and the e-ticket, we looked at the date, time and checked it really was an e-ticket. Into my handbag it went all ready for the next day. That organised we now needed accommodation, Pete called the resort and we got a room. Whew! It was time to celebrate, the upside is we get another night and almost 2 days what a bonus!

 Be careful what you wish for…

 Next day I suggested that we go to the airport early, very early just to be sure and organised. Pete is a tad casual and was not super excited at my suggestion but agreed to go. His comment as we walked into the terminal was ‘what are we going to do for hours here?’ We were about to find out.

Up to the counter we went, handed over passports and e-ticket. There was a bit if fiddling going on and she dropped the bombshell. Someone else’s name was on the ticket in place of Pete’s. Mine was OK – whoop that didn’t help!  It turned out that another passenger was being transferred from a  flight that was full and she was dealing with his details as well as ours and wrote the wrong name on the ticket. Simple you might say – just change the name.

WRONG! My goodness you would have thought we were moving the Bank of England. After much finger pointing and phone calls…and time slipping away. I was getting teensy bit anxious. OK a lot anxious.

Then we started talking $$$$$, starting with $180 cancellation fee for the incorrect booking, a new booking at $675, minus the $500, Pete was up for another $355. Eventually we had a ticket, get through customs and immigration with 10mins to spare before boarding.

We made it and arrived home safely. Whew!. There are a few lessons learned here, funnily (yes I can laugh now), I had done some little videos for social media and my website based around confidence and holidays. One of them was about keeping your sense of humour as challenges can and do arise when you travel. Talk about eat your own words.

Yet nothing takes away from our time away together, I am so happy and grateful that we had that wonderful time…and yes even the extra days.

 Next time we go away I will be careful what I wish for… to tell the Universe exactly how I want it!

What challenging travel experiences have you experienced? I would love you tell us your stories.

If you enjoyed and relate to this post please share and comment.

 

 

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And so – it comes to pass – that all we ask for shall be granted.

 

I am delighted today to have an amazing and talented guest blogger… Jaki Mac, the Queen of Abundance. Thank you lovely lady for your contribution.

Jaki and I met through a Facebook group and a monkey survey. Don’t you just love connections! Now over to Jaki. 

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

 

 And so – it comes to pass  - that all we ask for shall be granted.    Oh, as if

Can you imagine how wonderful life would be if this really was the case?

Can you believe how easy it would be, to create a life of our own making, living a dream reality, having time for work, and play and fun?

What would the world be like if we just had the power to create it, 100% tailor made to our specifications?

Ah, can you just let your mind wander through that thought for just a moment? How cool would that be?

The simplicity of it all – the lack of struggles and stress -  the ability to travel – volunteer – work at what really sits at the core of your passion – whatever your heart desires.

Sounds way too good to be true??

 

What if I told you that every single facet of life as you know can be tailor made?

What if I assured you that everything is going to be okay – that we can make positive change in our lives purely by bringing it toward us.

 

About 10 years ago, I was a single Mother of 5 kids, struggling to make ends meet in a Coal Mining town in Central Queensland. The Boom hit, and the rented church owned house that we had called home for more than 10 years, was offered to the Mining Company for 10 times the amount of rent we paid. “Nothing personal, my dear, we just have a tremendous opportunity to create wealth”. And just like that, we were homeless – without $1800 a week to spare for rent.

The children and I lived in a tent in a friends backyard, my son was diagnosed with a brain tumour, and my world was a dark place to inhabit at that time.

I weighed over 140kg and made bad decisions in my choice of romantic partner.

I was sad, lonely, overweight, homeless and broke.

One night, I realised my choices were simple. I could sink, or I could swim.

I chose to swim. I wrote a list of what was needed in my life at that point of time.

I wanted a roof over our heads, I wanted to find a better paying job, I wanted healing for my son.

 

I asked for every single thing I could think of, and I got it. Seeing how I made the decision to swim, I might as well swim at the front.

 

I asked for a better job, more money, a car, a phone, a computer, housing allowance – all kinds of deals were made at each years performance review. And each year, the boss signed on that dotted line in agreeance.

This was amazing, so each year I wrote a new list, asking for more and more and more blessings, in life and love and happiness, not just my career.  Each morning when I awoke, I thanked the Universe for allowing me another day, and I asked to double my blessings.

Fast forward to now, when I have given up my 200k pa job, and I now have settled into a much better lifestyle balance.  My kids are grown, healthy and happy. I have manifested vitality and health into my life and in the process I dropped 70kg.. that’s a whole person!

My son was healed – totally – and to this day his tumour has not grown a millimetre.

The Universe’s attention to detail was so specific, it delivered to me a man that not only looked like George Clooney, but he comes with 5 more children, yep, I doubled my blessings.

The point of this story of mine, is to portray that Asking and Receiving really is that simple, and one must always be very careful in what they ask for.

What are the things you think about during the day?

  • I’ll never find a park here at this time of day.
  • This cake will go straight to my hips.
  • I never loose weight.
  • It always rains when I wash the car.
  • Why is it always happening to me?
  • I always get stopped at the airport security.
  • I can never get a cab.

Or are you much more upbeat and positive?

  • I’m so lucky
  • I always get a great park near the front
  • Health and Vitality come to me easily
  • I love being active
  • I have a fabulous life

The words you speak become your reality. It really is a matter of the Law of Attraction, The Law of Physics, Like Attracts Like and all….

And yes , I know this is nothing new, we have all heard of this idea.  This new-agey bullshit that people sprout on about it.

Yes, we have all heard of The Secret – but we don’t ever seem to implement it…. Don’t roll your eyes at me, this stuff is pure science. Stop poo-pooing for one minute and give it a whirl.

Just for today, I would like you to be super mindful of your words – and take note of the words you use daily.

“What comes out of your mouth, is so much more important to what goes in it” – a wise man once said of health and vitality matters. And I have learned this is true in every aspect of life and business.

I am now known in my circles as The Queen of Abundance – and I have two house’s, three cars, umpteen stamps in my passport to prove it. I am now running Multi Million Dollar businesses, created and implemented by the principles learned over the years.

Make a list. Take the first step of Action toward your goal. Then trust in the Universe to deliver.

Can it be any more simple for you?

Want to make a difference in your life? Make a List, Take a Step and Be Specific.

I AM Jaki Mac – and I AM The Queen of Abundance.

 

Thank you Jaki for sharing your beautiful thoughts and story.

 

Now ladies it is your turn are you up for changes in your life?  Jaki’s call to action is a great place to start. I would to hear your thoughts.

 

 

 

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Do You Know How Long 20 Seconds Can Be?

 

Last Saturday I was a contestant in a speech contest…it did not go as I planned. And guess what the sun still came up on Sunday, it was not the end of the world!

I learned a valuable lesson – no matter what happens…stick there and just do it. As I am writing, the words of a song drifted into the room ‘I took the blow’ and did it my way. Seems rather appropriate. What happened? My mind went blank and I froze for 20 seconds…it seemed forever. It felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on me.

 

Anxious, lack of confidence, confidence beyond50, determination, self esteem, self belief

 

It is true that your mind can go blank at any time… I just did not plan for it to happen in a speaking situation. Yep… I did it with real panache for 20 long, long seconds. Yet through that time I could feel the energy in the room urging me on… I just could not find the words to begin.

As you know I am passionate about confidence for mature women. It is not something that you ‘get’, hang on the wall and have it forever. Confidence is something that may vary in different parts of your life and when a challenge arises it easy for ‘that bit to get bent out of shape’. It does not mean all is lost.

 

Confidence beyond 50, Self confidence, overcoming fear, self belief, self worth

 

My mind went blank about one minute into my speech – what raced through my mind was disbelief, horror and embarrassment. Then something happened. From somewhere deep inside me grit and sheer determination pulled me through. It was not  a conscious thought, it was like instinct. Pulling that positive energy back stripped me temporarily of my oomph….

If I had walked off the stage that would have been old behaviours kicking in. That would have undone everything I have worked toward for years. The previous victories I have had in overcoming a challenge came to the fore and enabled me to win over that challenge that day. Or as I am reframing it SUCCESS IN THE PRESENT. 

 

SElf confidence, drive, success, anxious confident women

 

After the contest I felt disappointment in myself and started down the ;self flagellation track. I felt my recovery was ineffective… despite a number of friends telling me differently. Pete had videoed my speech and encouraged me to watch it when we arrived home. It was the best thing I could have done… yes, I agreed then I had recovered well. I had to see it to believe it.

My sharing is showing that we can all have embarrassing moments in life, when we wish the floor would open up and swallow us – my confidence work saved my day. It allowed my oomph to re-surface. When you let go and trust in yourself it will happen.

Maybe you have had an ‘experience’ that left you with disbelief, horror and embarrassment. Maybe it has robbed you of your oomph. If so the secret is knowing how to access and implement your inner confidence.

 

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears
I can help you with that.. when I can impart the knowledge of a clients own power and how to access it…that is real confidence.  If you are in that place right now I would love to chat with you and help you move forward.  Contact me via the website or at di@ddiriddell.com

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