Category Confidence Di Style

Heels Heels and Higher Heels

 

 Heels heels and heels

 

For those of us in maturity is was almost ‘expected’ that we would be well dressed, we would be ladies, we would wear proper underwear, stockings and HIGH HEELS!

It will make you look and feel confident they said! 

I took to that like a duck to water was all of the above. After I married a man in the sugar industry, I found that conservative industry had the above unwritten rules.
Yes I said, they make my legs look good, yes they compliment my dress, yes it became part of my identity. I wore them in every colour, every style and every height. the higher the better.

Comfort? What a ridiculous notion if the dress demanded it I wore them… for as long as was required. Side effects- aching legs, calf cramps and squashed toes – that was inconsequential, I wore them anyway.

Moving right along several decades, when I had been speaking for many years, always well dressed, always in heels. Suddenly I developed a balance problem, vertigo serious enough to stop me in my tracks and just a few days before I was MC for a 3 day Convention.

The day came and I had to wear my flatties. I did a deal with myself I wore them while organising and stepped into heels when on show or on stage. Wearing heels was such an integral part of my persona and presentation I felt undressed in flatties.

Today I watched a video from an article in the Huffington Post – the link is:

https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/videos/10153871507541130/

A few points to think about:

  • 72% of women have worn heels at some point in their lives
  • The sole of the foot has 200,000 nerve endings that send messages to the brain about the ground we walk on. When we wear heels they mess with the messages.
  • 49% of women ages 18-24 wear heels daily
  • High heels push the hips and spine out of alignment

That has given me food for thought so I have decided my ‘expected’ will be –  well dressed, still a lady, lingerie that suits my style, very occasional hose and flatties most of the time. My reward will be wearing heels for a treat!

It is time for me to transfer the confidence I felt in heels to a new found confidence in my flatties.

 What are your thoughts on heels? Do you wear them? Do you love flatties?

Talking about confidence – I am very excited to be sharing here first my 21 day Confidence Challenge  I am OK, I am ready… http://diriddell.com/?p=1710

Commencing   I am running starting in May 23rd…I would love you to join me. 

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Reflections & 7 Hot Tips For Confidence

 

Reflections can take us so many places… from the active to the passive. It can take us down the should have’s,  what if’s, if only – you get my drift.

Or it can take us down the ‘wow look what I have achieved’. ‘look at the difference I have made in other’s lives’ and the ‘I am proud of the woman I have become’ – you get my drift.

This is my first blog post since mid November. Today I am at a point of reflecting…. if I sit really still the reflection creates clarity – just like the frog, to capture a butterfly in reflection is precious and I see it as a symbol of transformation.

 

Refelctions, positive, confidence,  self esteem

 

If I wriggle  and dash about that reflection becomes distorted and the clarity disappears. I have been doing a lot of the dashing about and doing – life in 2015 was tumultuous in many ways, a year of triumphs and tears, starting and getting thrown off course by life’s events and a year of personal growth..

 

lack of confidence, lack of self eesteem and self worth

 

Maybe you have been down that track also, maybe your confidence has bounced around between triumphs and tears. We are not totally confident all of the time. It waxes and wanes as we go through life, taking on new things, new projects, stretching ourselves, succeeding, still getting there, learning to say no, overcoming challenges and finding a balance that suits your lifestyle.

When things don’t go to plan we can easily let our confidence get bent out of shape – yet it is often in one area yet we allow that to override the positives in  our lives.

 

Confidence beyond 50, Self confidence, overcoming fear, self belief, self worth

 

 

HOT TIPS

 #1 Use your time for reflection as a positive planning tool, not as self flagellation time.

#2 Be realistic – stretching yourself is not about pushing yourself to breaking point.

#3 Ask for help – avoid the stoic ‘I can do it all by myself’ track.

#4 Create a morning ritual to get yourself into a peak performance state. One that suits your lifestyle and you love doing.

#5 Create time for self care and nurture your relationships

#6 Take the time to acknowledge your achievements no matter how small.

#7  Then’ go for it’ whatever that means to you with every fibre of your being.

 

self confidence, self worth, self respect, self esteem

 

Start today and make the changes that will make a difference in your life… don’t know how? Contact me for a  complimentary 20mins session.

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Do You Know How Long 20 Seconds Can Be?

 

Last Saturday I was a contestant in a speech contest…it did not go as I planned. And guess what the sun still came up on Sunday, it was not the end of the world!

I learned a valuable lesson – no matter what happens…stick there and just do it. As I am writing, the words of a song drifted into the room ‘I took the blow’ and did it my way. Seems rather appropriate. What happened? My mind went blank and I froze for 20 seconds…it seemed forever. It felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on me.

 

Anxious, lack of confidence, confidence beyond50, determination, self esteem, self belief

 

It is true that your mind can go blank at any time… I just did not plan for it to happen in a speaking situation. Yep… I did it with real panache for 20 long, long seconds. Yet through that time I could feel the energy in the room urging me on… I just could not find the words to begin.

As you know I am passionate about confidence for mature women. It is not something that you ‘get’, hang on the wall and have it forever. Confidence is something that may vary in different parts of your life and when a challenge arises it easy for ‘that bit to get bent out of shape’. It does not mean all is lost.

 

Confidence beyond 50, Self confidence, overcoming fear, self belief, self worth

 

My mind went blank about one minute into my speech – what raced through my mind was disbelief, horror and embarrassment. Then something happened. From somewhere deep inside me grit and sheer determination pulled me through. It was not  a conscious thought, it was like instinct. Pulling that positive energy back stripped me temporarily of my oomph….

If I had walked off the stage that would have been old behaviours kicking in. That would have undone everything I have worked toward for years. The previous victories I have had in overcoming a challenge came to the fore and enabled me to win over that challenge that day. Or as I am reframing it SUCCESS IN THE PRESENT. 

 

SElf confidence, drive, success, anxious confident women

 

After the contest I felt disappointment in myself and started down the ;self flagellation track. I felt my recovery was ineffective… despite a number of friends telling me differently. Pete had videoed my speech and encouraged me to watch it when we arrived home. It was the best thing I could have done… yes, I agreed then I had recovered well. I had to see it to believe it.

My sharing is showing that we can all have embarrassing moments in life, when we wish the floor would open up and swallow us – my confidence work saved my day. It allowed my oomph to re-surface. When you let go and trust in yourself it will happen.

Maybe you have had an ‘experience’ that left you with disbelief, horror and embarrassment. Maybe it has robbed you of your oomph. If so the secret is knowing how to access and implement your inner confidence.

 

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears
I can help you with that.. when I can impart the knowledge of a clients own power and how to access it…that is real confidence.  If you are in that place right now I would love to chat with you and help you move forward.  Contact me via the website or at di@ddiriddell.com

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Is A Confident Woman Perfect or Is She Standing In Her Power?

 

What makes a woman confident?

  • What is it that gets her out there helping others?
  • Is she superwoman?
  • Is she untouchable?
  • Is she perfect?

Does she stand in her power or her shadow?

 

Confident women, self esteem, anxiety, self esteem

 

No she is not perfect, she is just like any other woman who has moved through challenges – sometimes brilliantly other times horribly. She has felt the winds of hardship, pain, loneliness, insecurity, shame and regret as well as the joys of success, happiness and achievement.

 

She is not someone who has never encountered hardship, she is one who has moved through her hardships ranging from the miniscule to the monumental. She has been moulded, shaped and been prepared to take the actions necessary to move forward in her life.

 When you are a confident woman you understand challenges.

That natural confidence lends itself to you reaching out to help other less confident women and lend them words of encouragement. You know how they feel – you have been there.

Superwoman has gone.

Being confident does not mean that you do everything or that you are the only person who can do it right (I bet that raised a smile on a few faces). Confident women know how to ‘do’ self care effectively and how to say no without needing to justify.

 Untouchable?

I have heard confident women described as untouchable. In fact their BS tolerance is low…very low. By making a conscious decision not to participate in what does not serve her, to those women she may appear untouchable.

 Confident Women are often misjudged.  

She may be called proud, arrogant standoffish and say things like – ‘It is Ok for her, she is confident what would she know about having no confidence?’  ‘She looks like she has led a charmed life and never had to do a hard days work in her life’. That is not true at all and many who speak like this have had opportunities to improve their lives and didn’t, then when they see someone who has, they hit out in their frustration and insecurities.

She is not proud, arrogant or standoffish, she is simply confident in herself.  There is a huge difference between confidence and pride and arrogance. The arrogance and pride is expressed as only looking after herself, thinks she is a cut above the rest and to hell with everyone else. A confident woman isn’t afraid to put others before herself, she is ready, willing and able to lift other women as they step up, into and through their challenges.

 She has emerged from her shadow and has stepped into her power with confidence.

  •  She believes in herself and her confidence is best described as that extraordinary energy that is alive, vibrant, strong and positive. You know it when you see it and say ‘I want some of what she has got!’
  •  She uses her past experiences of pain, hurt, disillusionment, abuse and peppers them liberally with her ‘licence to skill’ to help them make their breakthroughs, to embrace their pain and move forward.

As a confidence mentor  women don’t need me to save, rescue or berate them in their confidence stakes. My skill set lies in imparting knowledge of your own power and how to access it…that is real confidence.

 

I have emerged from my shadow into my power…and I can help you?

If this resonates with you, if you would like more information contact me today. Through the website  www.diriddell.com or call me direct on 0409 638 248.

Having a chat will help take away some of your overwhelm so you can step into your even more beautiful and confident self. Warm regards Di

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Leftie’s Are Best… It Takes Confidence To Say that!

 

Yes I am a proud left hander, yes I have suffered and yes I have survived and prospered with my sense of humour intact in a right handed world.

Survive you say…would you believe over 2,500 left handed people are killed every year using equipment made for right- handed people.

There is no denying it left-hander’s are out there. However despite being 10% of the population society forgets us. We live in a right-handed world  it is right-handed utensils, cooking and cutting implements that are ALL for the right-handed…

 

confidence, fear, anxious, left handedness, lack confidnece

 

Check this TED-Ed presentation http://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-are-some-people-left-handed-daniel-m-abrams

There are however a few little known facts in our favour.

  1. We hear speeches differently – research shows people using their left hands when listening hear rapidly changing sounds and intonations.
  2. Left-handed Neanderthals were also in the minority. How did they know? The wear and tear on your teeth is different to right-handed folk. By locating the wear and tear on those prehistoric chompers it can be determined if they used their left or right hand.
  3. We are more inclined to shine in the creative arts.
  4. We vote for left -hander’s – a high percentage of recent US President’s were left-handed and it is thought a left-handed politician has an advantage in a televised debate. As a whole we associate the right-handed gestures as ‘good;’ and the left as ‘bad’. On TV it is displayed as a mirror image.
  5. Lefties have an advantage in sport that involve two opponents facing each other such as tennis and boxing.
  6. The sight of us using a cutting or carving knife drives right-handed people crazy…. they can’t wait to hop in and help out.
  7. Lefties tend to like a cold drink on a hot day
  8. The 13th of August is International left- hander’s Day. First launched in 1992 the UK-based Left-Hander’s Club to increase awareness about the left-handed lifestyle.
  9. Lefties are not going anywhere… will we fade away? Noooooooooooo we have been in the minority and being less common we have the surprise effect. Get used to us!

I have even become a member of the left hander’s club…

 

left handers, confidence and self esteem

 

And lastly Di’s reason… it is not good news for anyone sitting on my left at dinner… I tend to help them with their wine intake by picking up the glass on my left. … I am generous like that.  And this glass must be mine it has ice in it!

A touch of delicious wickednessDid you know we are all born left-handed? You turn right-handed when you make your first mistake.

OK I will be good now……and share a few of my left-handed life experiences that…well perhaps I could say they were ‘character building’ and ‘provided opportunities for self growth’.

I felt the breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler hit,  it swished through the air before it came crashing down on my knuckles….as my  5-year-old eyes watered and my hand throbbed …I thought what was my crime? Picking up the pencil in my left hand. I did not even realise it was my left hand because I got confused between my left and right hands. It was simply the hand I used to colour in and draw.

As I sat there tears rolling down my cheeks I wondered why, why, why was it so wrong to pick up a pencil in ‘that’ hand. I had no confidence or self esteem in those days

Today I ask myself did that set the scene for my  unusual handwriting? I often hear the comment…’ It looks neat but I can’t read it.’

Then I saw this image … and what  a beauty! Written just for me I think.

 I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font.

hand writing, confidence, self esteem , left handedness

School experiences… Did this happen to you?  It happened to me and many others who started school in the 1950′s. The excitement of going to school waned quickly as my knuckles suffered on a daily basis.

This ‘training’ apparently was for ‘my own good’  Miss Lowe, the googly-eyed, enormous  frightening teacher. She would tower over me BELLOW. She delighted in pointing out my ‘crime’ to the rest of the class.

That pain extended beyond the classroom. Further torment came during the maypole dance. Each of us round a pole with a coloured streamer and the idea was steps to the left and steps to the right in sequence…I did not remember the sequence, nor which foot to put forward…gee I wonder why????

You can guess what I am going to say…left, left, right and there I would be with the wrong foot forward going in the wrong direction.  Again I felt the  breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler  as it swished through the air before it came crashing down across the back of my legs.

Imagine doing that to a child today? I know we really can’t place today’s values on yesterdays actions…but that was a tough gig for a kid.

‘Straighten up your page Dianna’ would be the next bellow to fly across the room. Yes like many left handers…I turn the page at an angle to write. So can you imagine there I sat with the book straight, pencil in my right hand….how did I know which was right? By this time my stinging knuckles helped give me a clue.

To say it was pure hell….is an understatement. To say I did not care would be to tell a ‘porkie’ of massive proportions! Thank goodness it no longer standard practice…

Next time someone has a ‘point of view’ about your handwriting…you may like to borrow the phrase I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font. And just keep writing…

 

writing. left hand, confidence, self esteem, self belief

If you are a left- hander and of a certain age (how is that for delicate)…I would love to hear your experiences of learning to write and coping in a right-handed world.

Warm regards and I really do love my right-handed friends…Di…

 

You may like to check on me through other channels…

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Pinterest:   http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

 

 

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Cruising Off Over The Seas … Not A Problem!

 

Getting just a tad excited…  you know those promos where you see the ship sailing? The passengers are smiling? It is smooth sailing and nobody gets motion sickness?

 

nerves, anxious, motions sickness, confdencebeyond50

 

That is ‘my intention’ for next week as I brave the high seas on my first cruise… I use an image with the words ‘dive right in…confidence breeds confidence’.  Well… my kind of diving in means ‘getting on the cruise ship’, not ‘diving into the water’.

Can you sense a teensy tiny bit of trepidation? Oohh can you really!

 

worry, anxiety, self confidence, confident women

 

  • Yes, traveling by plane, bus, car, train is not a problem. The swaying motion in a boat is a BIG problem. Now I know that was when we were in a 17 foot half cabin cruiser –  and we did go 17mile out to sea in it…that was a loooong way to me.
  • And on the houseboat – OK it was in sheltered waters and I was OK on that.
  • And I know the Pacific Jewel is much bigger – but so are the waves.

 

boating, seasickness, confidence, lack of confidence

 

Now what am I going to do about it?

The list, the list, the list where is my list?

 

organised, planning, lists, confidence, anxious

 

Steps taken include (yes my list making comes in handy)

  • Stemetil for balance – starting 3 days before I leave
  • Maxalon in case the unthinkable happens (I am a Cancerian I am prepared for everything)
  • Ginger tablets, ginger and ginger biscuits (told you I was prepared)
  • Arm bands for motion sickness.
  • My intentions phrases and my ‘tapping’ ability
  • I will eat and drink  lightly firsts night out
  • I remembered to pack my sense of humour (as a pirates wench on fun night I may need it)
  • Clothes… now that is a separate list!

What else?

  • I have been reliably informed that ships have green apples (in case)
  • If all else fails I could snack on confidence – that won’t add to my waistline
  • It was suggested to me yesterday that I put a band-aid behind my ear (not sure about that one)
  • OOhh and the best intention is that I have a wonderful time with the lovely man in my life.

Why am I sharing this?

  • The list may help someone else
  • It satisfies my list making gene
  • Now I know I am prepared I can relax and enjoy myself
  • It keeps you young facing and overcoming challenges

Not a problem…bring it on… off for 7 nights see you all on my return.

A quick question before I go – what have you done to challenge yourself this week?

If yes congratulations! If not it is only Friday afternoon you still have time!

If your confidence fails you when facing a challenge we need to chat… empowering through boosting confidence takes away the overwhelm. http://diriddell.com/confidence-coaching-2/

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I LOST 1300 KGS

Is that possible??????

Today, I had a huge Ahha! moment.

This morning I was in a hospital waiting room with my elderly brother reading a magazine. And well… I couldn’t just pop the magazine in my pocket now could I so I need to share from here? Wow, I was tempted and it sure got me thinking… along quite a different track to the food/weight angel that was the meat of the article.  to that intended in the article.

These words flew off the page at me…

 

weight loss, emotional happiness, confidence, self esteem

 

 I looked at it for a moment…thinking  how could that happen…then I read on! This woman had been on the see-saw of gaining and losing weight. She would gain weight, go on yet another diet (she tried every diet conceivable type of diet over the years). Yet the moment she stopped dieting she gained those kgs back + extra.

She is now down to her goal weight… she knows there is no magic bullet – ‘eat less and move more’ is her mantra.

The scary thing was she added up all the kgs she had lost over 25 years and it added up to 1300kgs. What a super human effort for her body to carry, her heart to pump for and her legs to carry.

However my mind went to our emotions -

If you look back over the years would you have the Confidence and courage to and count up in kgs the emotional baggage that you have accumulated, then lost some only to gain it back again + more.

 How many emotional kgs have burned through your body?

 

Facing fears, anxious, weight loss, confidence. self esteem

 

Would you be willing to stop for a moment and add them up? What would your figure be? How many kgs in weight?

Is it any wonder that when we are loaded up with emotional baggage we:

  • Feel the weight of that pulling us down, dragging us under.
  • Feel exhausted and wrung out and shrouded in confusion
  • The confusion gets in the way of our making prudent decisions

I admit that I would have had my  share of 1300kgs of baggage over the years – this metaphor simple brought home how exhausting that was for my body. And what a relief when I let it go.

I meet many mature women who are feeling stressed, drowning in life’s challenges – is that where you are right now?

There is an answer – it does not have to be hard work. However we do need to make the decision to change.  To take control…if you are open to change… to having a strong, quiet level of confidence and belief in yourself to help you ride the flames of life’s ups and downs then I may have a solution for you.

My Confidence Circle Workshop on Thursday 25th June – addresses these issues. If  this sounds like something that could help you click here… Di’s Confidence Workshop

Girls keep looking after yourselves… you are precious. Hugs Di

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Confidence Tip No 5…Eye Contact

 

 Good morning… it is a cool morning here on the Sunshine Coast and the sun is shining through my office window.  The Wisdom Whisperer returns…again…there is more. To recap – as the ‘Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence’ I am chatting and sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

Confidence self belief self worth self esteem

Today is the 5th blog post of 7 in the series. Tip 1 was Trust, tip 2 was Smile, Tip 3 was to laugh and tip 4 was to keep breathing. Today the tip is about eye contact.  Pat in the image is thinking I have to look at you?????? Now is that expression or what?

 

confidence, lookin out, connecting, self belief self worth

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach. That is Ok, confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall like a plaque and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’.

 

TIP 5 MAKE EYE CONTACT

 

In our society not making eye contact is perceived as hiding something, un-confident and showing low self confidence. That may not be true however it is how it appears.

In saying ‘make eye contact’ I am not suggesting that you stare someone down that is unnerving to a point of rudeness. It is about having the confidence to look a person in the eye when speaking to them some of the time. To really connect, I love eyes, especially when someone’s laughter reaches their eyes.

It can demonstrate happiness, sadness, delight and everything in between. A picture says a thousand words as they say…

Beauty Clearing the eyes eyes, clearing, confidence, fears,security

 

And of course show a respect for cultural differences. That is another whole subject…

Tips in support of positive eye contact

  • It helps build rapport

  • It shows you are interested

  • It encourages active listening i.e. not jut paying lip service to the person who is speaking to you.

  • When your smile reaches your eyes they sparkle

  • It helps you to moderate what and how you speak by the response you see.

 My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self confidence. To enhance their ability to present themselves to their best and use eye contact for a deeper connection.

  

A gentle reminder…

Tip 1 Trust and believe in yourself

Tip 2 Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident

Tip 3 Laugh – life does not have an undo button

Tip 4 Breathe – blue is a lovely colour but not on your face

Tip 5 Eye contact is encourages active listening

If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence. Contact me via the website if you think I can help you.

I would be delighted to hear from you.

I would love you to share your thoughts on how effective you consider eye contact to be.

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Confidence Tip No 4 – Keep Breathing

 

Good morning… it is a cool Friday morning here, and here I am…
 The Wisdom Whisperer returns…there is more. To recap (as I did get side tracked onto other topics) – as the ‘Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence’ I am sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

 Today’s tip is ‘to keep breathing’ the 4th blog post  in a series of 7. Tip 1 was Trust, tip 2 was Smile and Tip 3 was laugh.

 

confidencebeyond50, self belief, se

 

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach.  Confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…

and you say ‘I want some of what she has got’.

 

wisdom whisperer 5

 

TIP 4  KEEP BREATHING

 Have you noticed  that when you are feeling unconfident, when you are unsure  of something, when you feel out of your depth or when you get a fright, like stage fright that you hold your breath? Most times you may not even realise you are doing it.
 And when you hold you breath for an extended time…you will go blue, an alarming shade of blue. Girls blue is a lovely colour but not on your face. So keep breathing… please!
 Breathing is what brings the oxygen into your body, it is part of your very existence…you all know what happens if you stop breathing. The unthinkable!

 Tips in support of breathing

  • When you are oxygenated you have a healthy pink colour.
  • When you stand tall and pull your shoulders back it opens up your chest cavity so you can breath more deeply.
  • It gives you energy.
  • When you breath deeply and evenly it allows your voice to flow easily and effortlessly.
  • A deep even breath gives off an air of calm which relaxes people
 My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self confidence. To enhance their ability to present themselves at their best.
If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence.
 I would be delighted to hear from you.
A gentle reminder…
Tip 1 Trust and believe in yourself
Tip 2 Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident
Tip 3 Laugh – life does not have an undo button
Tip 4 Breathe – blue is a lovely colour but not on your face

 

 I would love you to share What benefits do you see in deep breathing?

 

 And what do I do? I am a confidence coach for women 50 . Women who have lived, loved, lost and survived.
 A lack of confidence can sneak in if you are not getting the most out of life, you may feel your age renders you undesirable, that you have become invisible or unimportant, fear may get in the way of your making prudent decisions or you may be feeling overwhelmed if you are starting over.
 If that is you join me for an incredible journey as I use my skills to develop or refine your unique style of confidence.

 

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