Category Confidence Di Style

You can HEAL from Betrayal and LOVE your LIFE again

If you are dedicated to improving the quality of your life and cultivating more happiness and peace – then KEEP READING this email.

I have a HUGE surprise for you, that I think you’re going to love…..AND its 100% free, as a GIFT from me, simply because I think you’re worth it.

 

Trust, respect, betrayal. forgiveness

 

Have ever experienced the shock and pain of betrayal from someone you trusted?  And do you still feel affected by it?  If so, then it is still controlling your life and you’re not fully healed – and so this is for you!

  • Perhaps you feel a part of you was ‘stolen’, because now you struggle to trust anyone?…..and you wish you could.

 

  • Or maybe now you just feel flat in life, without the joy and zest you once knew.

 

  • Does it still ‘niggle’ away at you – and every time you think of it, ‘burns’ you up inside? You feel angry most of the time and find yourself over reacting to even the smallest of things.

 

  • Perhaps even your health is suffering as a result of the shock and aftermath of the betrayal.

 

I understand how you feel.  I have experienced all of that during my journey to wholeness and I am here to tell you – you CAN heal the emotional and spiritual wounds of betrayal – I did.

So what’s my GIFT?

Sheilagh Mac (psychotherapist and spiritual teacher), has just pulled together 5 leading transformational experts for a 5 day, information packed tele-summit: Elixir For Soul Freedom Summit.

And not only does she want you to attend COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE by simply registering here:

http://bit.ly/2M4T5Wp

she has invited ME to be on the panel of experts!

I feel excited for you, because of what you are about to learn in this online event:

  • The powerful way to restore your ability to trust after betrayal… (if you struggle with trusting others, then you are going to LOVE this talk!)
  • The #1 way to prevent abuse and betrayal from happening again (that you probably haven’t thought of).
  • The most powerful way to find your voice so you can develop the confidence you need to set boundaries”
  • The powerful 4 step process, to dissipate ANY çharged’ emotion.
  • The keys to unlocking and releasing destructive beliefs on a cellular level.
  • How to prevent spiralling into depression without the use of soul-killing antidepressants.
  • The keys to forgiving and moving on from your story of betrayal.
  • And much, much more!

 

Trust, betrayal, love, compassion, forgiveness

 

 

But here’s the best part:

You can attend the tele-summit from the comfort of your bedroom, if you want.

Because this event is going to be delivered directly to your inbox every, single. day. And if you miss a speaker (for whatever reason) you’ll have a chance to access the replays for up to 72 hours after the event.

So here’s the recap:

5 leading experts (myself included) are going to be sharing their stories, their wisdom, their knowledge, on ways to release your emotional wounds AND find peace…..

And you can watch it from the comfort of your own home without having to pay a dime.

So, what are you waiting for? Reserve your spot now by clicking on the registration link below:

http://bit.ly/2M4T5Wp

If you know of a friend who can also benefit from this event, please share.  The free gifts alone are worth it to share.

Do join us

 

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Accidental Author

I am an accidental author. It never crossed my mind to write a book.

 

accidental author, writing, blogging, overcoming fear,

My background was nursing, writing especially writing creatively was not part of the job description. 40 years ago I joined Toastmasters and began writing speeches. Most of those for 5-7mins. Not exactly committed writing is it?

Yet reading has always been a passion. “Words and books have the power to ignite our imagination, to help us see the world through perspectives other than our own and leave us in awe and wonder of the marvels of the human spirit.

 

reading, fun, passion, joy,

You get to love the characters and live their life. To put yourself in the ‘for instance’.

Reading took me to places I had not contemplated – it allows you to lead a vicarious life.

In 2002 my world as I knew it ceased to exist. My beautiful husband of 31 years left for the heavenly fields and I will ill-equipped to cope. I was terrified of being alone, terrified I would not cope, terrified of facing a new life. So, I did what I knew best and that was to push myself until I dropped. One year later I did exactly that at 51kgs I was a physical, emotional and spiritual wreck. And just to add to the mix I was computer illiterate. Les had done all my computer work for me.

 

writing, healing, time for you

At my lowest point, I began journaling. I am on such a deep journey of healing: the kind where all my walls came down and I was faced with the raw emotion and truth of who I was and how I felt about life. I had lost my identity along with my husband

It wasn’t easy. I was facing my own vulnerabilities and a pile of negatives you could not jump over. I was seeking, seeking, to let go, to see myself in a new light and move forward. Who can Di Riddell be in this world. What is possible for her?

My heart took me to great places and I began to understand that love conquers all and it starts with self- love.

 

wisdom and weeping and quiet confidence

There were serious challenges along the way that dented my confidence, coping, handling things I had never had to handle before. I was letting myself think that my shortcomings were failures and that lessons were burdens, and I was carrying them on my own shoulders.

Yet journaling and a serious move into anything about self-development took hold of me and took on a life of its own. About this time, I joined National Speakers and Robyn Henderson said those magic words – I think you have got a book in you’ – I looked at her aghast! Like what????

Time to ‘fess up again, I could not create or write at the computer. I would write in longhand and then type. My typing could not keep up with my thoughts and if I stopped to correct I would lose my train of thought. By that time, I was learning more about technology. How many times I sat and sobbed, and cried and sometimes screamed ’I love technology, technology loves me’ over and over again.

My plan to write then got all muddled up with my personal story. A story that had been kept secret for 45 years. To tell it I knew I needed to dive deeply into forgiveness for my father who was a violent alcoholic and the 3 guys who pack raped me as a teenager resulting in a pregnancy and an adoption. It was when I got to that point that I could write openly, authentically and from my heart.

 

process, organise, write, enjoy, edit, publish, link

I did not have a clue where or how to start. My process on Robyn’s advice was to do a brain dump. I dedicated my spare bed downstairs for the exercise. Every time I thought of something I would write it on a post- it- note and leave it on the bed. No judging, every thought was worth a note. After about 2 weeks I had exhausted that avenue.

Collation came next, into piles covering topics. If I had 20 in one pile, I broke it up into 2 or 3 areas. Where I had 2 in a pile, I either incorporated it into another or thought it not relevant and discarded it. Each of those plies went into a plastic sleeve with the topic on the outside.

You see when I thought I would write from the beginning, I would get blocked, not knowing quite where to start and getting hung up on every sentence,

The plastic sleeves were my saviour. When I was ready to write I would choose what I felt like writing about that day. That way my creative spirit was happy and words flowed freely, by this time I was typing.

I mean like how long would it take me to hand write then type?

What was I thinking?

Where was my head?

As I wrote I looked for other styles, what others had said. But this was my story. My lesson was “When You Write the Story of Your Life, Don’t Let Anyone Else Hold the Pen”. My writing is real, raw, and authentic – just like me!

 

writing in your voice, real, raw, authentic

Once I had covered all the topics, I collated them into an order for the book then wrote the links to draw them together. The opening and closing chapters I wrote last.

Next came the editing, book cover, typesetter and publisher. And just when I thought I was done… the launch and marketing, speaking, more writing. I thought sending off the manuscript was it. ‘Beyond Abuse’ was out there, my secret story now public knowledge.

Why would I do that? If I can prevent another woman going through challenges like mine then my job is done.

Completing that book opened doors I had never seen. I moved in different directions, started a support group for women who had been abused, created a 6 week program for women starting over, spoke to groups and continued writing. The cover of the original book.

Fear, anxiety, lack of confidence, resilience

Writing for the web and a blog were my next challenge. My first blog was called ‘Paint the Ceiling Beige’ after regaling a blogger with stories of internet dating. I will let your mind take you from there. That kept me out of mischief for a few years.

Then, in the process of doing a promotional video for my website, I was challenged to do an update, to answer questions I had been asked over the last 10 years. I sent the original files to a new editor, then found out she lives in New York not SE Qld like I thought. Nic came back with several areas she considered I had glossed over. I wrote on those, I did answer questions I had been asked. Then she suggested I add men’s stories, abuse happens to men also, so I did. Men are not being heard and their suicide rate is increasing. Then Nic thought we should balance it with women’s stories and I did.

My greatest surprise was when I went to incorporate that new writing into the original copy…it did not fit. I had changed that much. We put the new material at the end of each chapter as well as doing chapter revisions. A new opening and new closing and a new forward completed the writing.

2 weeks ago ‘Beyond Abuse- – a recovery guide for men and women in an era of me, and all of us, too was released. In 3 days it was No 1 best seller on Amazon Australia for new releases in self- help.

 

Beyond Abuse

The day I opened the link and saw it live on Amazon…I thought I am ready…it’s time’. My author journey has opened me to search for the 2 children I adopted out as a teenager. That journey may well be my next book.

Thoughts I would like to share as I dive into an extension of my writing is I am planning a Web TV program ‘Uplifting Humanity’ – one person at a time. it is 2018 we are shifting humanity and raising consciousness – not playing I’m going to get you, you bastard games. We are opening to more expansive views leading to deeper conversations

We are never done, this story is just starting. Abuse is not going away despite the millions of $$$ spent on it. I am asking what can we do differently? As a catalyst for change, I am seeking answers to questions so those who are hurting badly, coming though, knowing where to go and, what to do. I am there as a guide and a resource.

Writing my books has gone beyond the pen, it has opened up new and varied avenues. Together we can help to make the world a safer place and I would love to say one free of abuse. Love will conquer all.

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

I bless being a writer and bless even more those amazing beautiful people who assisted me and those who will be with me on this journey.

If you would like a copy of the book click on  the link…  http://wp.me/P3QTcY-v4

If you would like to see me speak in an interview  click here… https://youtu.be/oxDiR5uskdctt

If you would like to make contact with me … drop me a line at di@diriddellcom

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‘I love technology, technology loves me’

‘I love technology, technology loves me’ That was my chant for years as I said the words over and over, and there were rivers of tears to accompany it. Gradually they grew less and I improved.

At this moment I am a part of a 3 UA group Writing for Pleasure , this week out task was to write on technology…

 

technology, confidence, no confidence, fear, anxiety, can't do it, yes I can

Technology, I feel, has this little imp in it that waits for you to ‘feel you are catching on’ and it slips in a challenge and says ‘whamo…see how you like that!’ And then laughs and laughs and laughs.
Back in the 80’s when we got our first computer, it was a word processor, a TRS80 and next we got a real PC. I could not see myself ever using it. As a matter of fact, when I ventured near it my husband sent me scuttling off. Gosh every time I touched it, it would have a hissy fit.
The conversation would go something like this:
(Him) What did you do?
(Me) Nothing
I don’t think I need to go further. The rules were set in stone… I asked and he did whatever I wanted.
This was a time when I was very involved in a number of organisations, I would come home and type it up then he would ‘organise it’ and ‘correct me’ – you can imagine how that went down. Some very spirited conversations ensued.
All went perfectly until his death in 2002 – that was when the rubber hit the road. I was still heavily involved and had not a clue what to do with ‘the machine’ which by this time had been updated a number of times.
Saying it was a steep learning curve is a truth. Saying I became proficient overnight would be taking liberty with the said truth.

 

learning, doing, susceeding, confidence,

Gradually, I learned, grew in confidence, tried several things, succeeded in some and failed miserably in others. Now, I am far from an expert but I manage quite well.
Today some of what I do is maintain my own website, write a blog, have a personal and business Facebook page (Confidence Beyond 50), am an Admin for 2 wonderful FB Groups ‘Health From The Heart’ and ‘Learn with Grandma Australia, run a online 21 day Challenge, discovered the delights of Pinterest (I can get lost in there for hours), play as often as I can in Canva creating images (more hours). Power Point I have used to create a photographical life record of several family members and I have just about conquered my mobile phone intricacies.
For 6 months I had the privilege of hosting for a blog-radio station interviewing amazing mature women. A whole new level of technology was required for me to run my studio and it was broadcast out of the California all through my computer.
Does all that make me super technie? NO! Do I still have challenges – you betcha!
 help, being open, overcoming fears, confidence, no confidence
What helped me?
• Listening and taking notes, I go back to them all the time
• Learn by doing, someone flicking quickly does not work for me
• Always being willing to ask for help
• Getting involved in FB groups and asking away and participating
• Being prepared to have a go, once I realised I could not break it
• Realised that when something happens it is not always me at fault. I used to beat myself up on this one.
• Being Ok with having the occasional hissy fit, it makes me feel better
• Keeping in very, very good with my IT son
• As a last resort turn everything off and turn it back on again – it fixes many ills
How amazing and lucky we are to live in this time, to have the technology to reach out into the world. As I look forward to my future when I may not be as mobile as I am today technology will keep me connected and switched on.
What thrills me right now is my book, just released. Titled “Beyond Abuse – a recovery guide for men and women in an era of me, all of us, too’…. It went up on Amazon last week and within 3 days was #1 best seller for Amazon Australia in self- help. This book was originally written and self-published 10 years ago and it was my story. The new book is an extension of my story and also includes men and women’s stories. An editor/publisher was suggested to me, when I contacted her I found that she lives in New York. All our business has been conducted online, Nic and I have not met.
Then out of the blue I was contacted and asked would I like to be part of an Author’s Expo locally on June 9th with an opportunity to speak on my author’s journey.
I have now also made the decision to follow through on an adoption issue, it is like when you complete one thing another door cracks open giving us a choice to step through or not. I have chosen to step through. Stay tuned for updates.
Over the years there have been many podcast interviews the latest by a lady from NZ who made contact with me through a FB group.
None of this would have happened without technology.

I say ‘I love technology, technology loves me’ for different reasons today, I have learned to embrace it and roll with the punches.

 

embracing technology, confidence in technology

 How has your journey with technology gone?

 

The new book…. the link if you would like to grab a copy

https://www.amazon.com.au/Beyond-Abuse-Recovery-Guide-Women-ebook/dp/B07D257YJJ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1526519088&sr=8-1

abuse, knows no boundaries, self help, confidence, fear, anxious

 

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Dinner with a Difference

 

Let’s start with a question… Have you ever not done something for a while, then when you do it you remember how much pleasure it gave you?

 

confidence in cooking, creative dinners, cooking is fun

I did! It was hosting a dinner party. It’s so long since I did that. For some crazy reason I stopped entertaining after the death of my husband. At that time, it was ‘I did not feel I deserved to be happy when he was not here’. I let that thought influence me for years.

It seemed the right time, having recently moved onto a new home which I am loving setting up to be just me. That is another story.

How I enjoyed the planning, preparation and delivery along with the wonderful conversations and many laughs during the evening.

Gee, I even cleaned the silver cutlery set. It had not been used in years and it was not half as bad as I remembered. Would you believe that I threw out quite a bit of silver when I left Nambour as I didn’t want to clean it. Just as well the cutlery set was boxed.

 

cleaning silver, cutlery for dinner,

 

Now from the photo it might look like there is no action behind me, believe me there had been earlier and there was much more later. I was so engrossed in the evening I for got to take more photos and had not thought about a blog post then. However it was good to sit down with a wine when I was done preparing and we are waiting for our guests.

The best part was hosting new friends, lost of laughs and  great conversation flowed through the evening.

 

set for dinner, confidence in preparation, relaxing before guests

 

In years gone by we used to have dinner parties with 3 couples each providing a course – one for entree, one for main and one for desert. Whoever was creating the main course hosted and invited one other couple preferably someone the others did not know. So, it was always dinner for 8.

The process – on arrival the hosts provided the nibbles while the entrée team prepared. When done we moved to the table and indulged. The entrée team then cleaned up and came back to the table.

The hosts then left to complete the main course preparation. We got to indulge again… that team cleaned up and returned to the table.

The desert team then did the same with their course. When we first started these dinner events and doing desert I went off to buy a desert wine. Never having tasted one before and seeing the ‘small’ bottle, I purchased two just to be sure. OMG it was soooooooo sweet, ghastly in fact. One of the many lessons learned as we progressed.

At the end of the evening the hosts provided coffee and chocolate. Everyone then having had one fabulous evening, great company and different and interesting food left for home. The hosts had only the coffee cups and wine glasses to clean up. I thought that was wonderful having hosted dinner parties and been left with a mountain of cleaning up to do at the end of the night.

 

Why you ask?

• 8 people so there is always 6 at the table to enhance conversation

• With the extra couple you are meeting and socialising with someone new on a regular basis

• Because you are seeking different recipes fabulous food is ensured

• With each providing a course the host has as much interaction and enjoyment as the guests.

• It is a wonderful excuse to get dressed up and enjoy

• In appreciation of sitting round a table and chatting

It was dinner with a difference.

 

 What did we have?

An entrée of asparagus 2 mins in the microwave, with berries sautéed in butter and sprinkled with lime juice. Followed by Thai Chicken and Orange Curry served with rice and completed with frozen grapes with Cointreau drizzled over them and ice cream.

 

dinner menu, dinner with a difference

 

When you have a dinner party what do you like to cook? I would love you to share.

 

For further contact with me, you can find me at:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

Twitter https://twitter.com/diconfident

Instagram: www.instagram.com/dimr47

Tumblr https://blogdilove.tumblr.com/

Youtube Di Riddell Confidence Beyond 50 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQZgMOxcCVuzcYB4wZNQ50Q

Linkedin https://au.linkedin.com/in/diriddell

 

 

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The Gift of Confidence After The Ravages Of Rape

Have you ever been sitting in a cafe and watched a confident woman walk towards you, she stands tall and straight, she walks at an easy flowing pace, she has a lovely smile on her face – she just looks confident and comfortable in her own skin. She owns the space around her. Have you then thought ‘I want some of what she has got’?
You would like to be that woman but right now you may be feeling –
• Flattened after a life changing event like a rape. You are overwhelmed, anxious, lost, you are seeking but not sure what. Your trust is at zero level.
• You don’t like your body, you feel ashamed, embarrassed or feel tainted
• You may be scared to reach out because you don’t want anyone to know you are not coping.
• You may be thinking I am alone. Everyone else seems to be coping why can’t I? How can they go about their ordinary day when my world has fallen apart?
• The ‘if only’s’ flood your mind and stop you from doing things, fear races through you.
• You deflect what is going so you don’t have to face a new future with just you.
• You just don’t want that stuff anymore, you are ready and willing to make a positive change but don’t know how.
We can do something about that.
 Let’s stop and ponder for a moment about the gift of confidence, it is a gift that goes on giving. It is a cornerstone of life that supports you in everything that you do. It is a living breathing energy that waxes and wanes, it is not still and stagnant. You don’t ‘get it’ once, hang it on the wall and have it forever. Confidence can be shaken or shattered by experiences and your life can change in a heartbeat. Rape is one of those experiences.

 

Confidence, self esteem self worth anxious, confidence,

 

 

When you gain or regain confidence after your body has been ravaged, damaged and discarded, it a gift. A gift that will make you strong, a gift that will make you aware and a gift that will support you as you move forwards.
 So, what is Confidence? It is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’. In fact, it is the sweetener of life.

 

self confidence, self esteem, overcoming fears, mature women , confidence beyond 50

“We know that confidence and resiliency reign because we have survived to tell our tales of success and misfortune, trauma and abuse. Indeed, we are built to be able to go to the edge of life and come back with our heart and soul elevated.... We are built to be resilient, to be able to step up and over rocky terrain and gain confidence.”

Let me introduce you to my Confidence Tree – You may be going along in life smoothly, feeling very confident when suddenly life gives you a shake or a shudder. It feels like the bottom has fallen out of your world and you ask where is my confidence when I need it?

Actually, it is still in there, waiting to surface, it is temporarily buried.
Picture a bonsai tree with it sturdy branches slightly curved coming from a firm strong trunk. When you are confident you are sitting on top of that tree. When something happens, an event, you fall a few branches.
You feel you have hit bottom, the roots or worse gone underground.
When you have the strategies to access your inner confidence and bring it to work in your current situation then you know the secret of my confidence tree.

 

Self esteem self worth self respect

Starting from where you are now, you can climb back up that tree. What can cause you to fall? There is a myriad of reasons and rape is a biggie.
 Let’s be honest, life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes we struggle within ourselves, sometimes we lose our footing, sometimes we simply need to surrender and reach out for help.
 When you reach out for help, you get to see your challenge through another set of ears, another set of eyes and share another’s heart space.
 You may have been hanging onto these memories for decades so it won’t all get better in a heartbeat, as we grow we become evolved versions of ourselves. We never did do anything to ‘deserve the wrongs of the past… but they have forged our evolution…and we learn to accept that.

12 Tips for regaining Confidence after a rape

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

 

1. Be kind to yourself, love yourself and know you are OK, you are not alone. You may think there is something wrong with you, that you caused it. The good news is – you are not the problem, you just haven’t been equipped with the tools required to be confident. They are skills not taught in traditional education, however they can be learned.
2. Take life one day by day, avoid looking to far ahead for the moment. Deal with each day as it comes and take the time to count your blessings. When you stay in the moment you find you enjoy all the little things that makes you smile.
3. Reach out and get the help you need. It may be professional, it may be from a support group of others who been through a similar experience, they understand and it gives you somewhere safe to express your concerns. Yes, do reach out to avoid isolating.
4. Cultivate the art of gratitude and forgiveness. The sense of peace you achieve sets you free. It does not condone the act, you are doing this for you, yes you, to set you free. I came to this point before I wrote and self published my story ‘Beyond Abuse’, it was one powerful and transformational journey.
5. Do mindset work everyday that may include reading, listening to podcasts, YouTube, use whatever medium appeals to you and that will change over time as you continue to grow. One of my favourite sayings is ‘remember to dress your mind just as you dress your body every day’.
6. Follow daily rituals that could include EFT (tapping), 5min Confidence Exercise, meditating, visualisations, mirror work. Mirror work is a powerful tool for building your self love, self belief and your self confidence. I love the words ‘mirror, mirror on the wall… it does not matter if I am short or tall…if I have skinny legs or my hips are wide…it only matters who I am inside…blue eyes, brown eyes, black or green… what makes me most beautiful cannot be seen… when you look at me don’t judge me by my parts…the most beautiful thing about me is my heart.’

 

self care, sel;f rspect, self worth, daily rituals

 

 7. Journalling is a powerful tool for ‘getting stuff’ out of your head, in fact it allows you to see how far you have come and journalling into the future is a wonderful form of visualisation. You write ‘as if’ you already had it, you can see, taste, smell, hear your self achieving what you want. When you journal daily it constantly reprograms your mind for what you want to bring into your life. It is from that place that you attract and receive.
8. Self care, nurturing and loving your body. It could be eating healthy food, getting fresh air and regular exercise, a massage, a bubble bath or listening to healing music.
9. Embrace change and challenges. We can either choose and direct change or have it thrust upon us. Living in a place of no-confidence and resisting change leaves you repeating the same mistakes, in victim mentality and not acting to improve your life because you think positive change is impossible.

Open to change, self confidence, self worth, looking after you

 

10. Be playful and have fun. Some therapists suggest that you indulge in a pleasurable activity for 30 min daily. This was of immense help to me during my journey as I used to drive myself to the point of exhaustion and thought I did not deserve to have fun.
11. Mix with happy confident people, confidence is contagious, it loves company. Avoid confidence zappers, you know the ones who suck the life and energy out of you, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted.
12. Whatever you choose don’t let it stop you living your life. the rapist may have taken one night of your life, don’t allow them to take over your life.
Cultivating and polishing your Confidence will help you to be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help and brave enough to ask for it.
 If my thoughts have whetted your appetite, my updated book will be out this year and is being published by Lucky Pineapple Books.

 

At last, looking after you

The excerpt is beautiful and gives a great perspective.
“Inner Beauty: A Book of Virtues” on a symbol of the lotus flower. It reads: The main thing about a lotus flower is that it has its root in the mud. It cannot grow without the mud, and yet its petals are pristine… the lotus flower doesn’t turn mud into anything. Mud is mud. Yet mud also has nutrients needed to aid the flower’s growth. It is the same for us. We are in a situation that we don’t like – “in the mud”. And yet it is probably the most secure position there is if we could only recognise it, not distort it, and let it “grow us’.
Website www.diriddell.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/confidencebeyond50
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/
Twitter https://twitter.com/diconfident
Instagram: www.instagram.com/dimr47
Di Riddell
E di@diriddell.com
M 0409 638 248
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No one NEEDS Toastmasters

 

I am so often asked about Toastmasters, why I joined, why I stayed…especially now it is 40 years own the track. This is a great time for me to reflect on my personal journey, a time to remember how scary it was to walk in that room, how scary it was to stand and introduce myself and how scary it was to admit my confidence was at an all-time low which was affecting how I communicated and lived. 

Last weekend I received my 40-year pin

 

Recognition, communication, leadership

 

 

This is a wonderful article saying no one needs it… or says ‘I must find Toastmasters’.

 

hearing, listening, Toastmasters, communication

What I am hearing is….

  •  Oh I don’t like giving presentations.
  • I don’t need to give presentations.
  • I am speaking at a wedding next week. Can you help me?
  • I am running for provincial/state/federal office in the next election. Can you help me?
  • I have to give a presentation at work next week. Can you help me?
  • I am already comfortable speaking in public. I don’t need Toastmasters [or any other training].

Speaking, evaluation, communication, connecting

 

BENEFITS

  • To provide valuable information to niches and build connections worldwide
  • Personal growth
  • Creating incredible lasting friendships

 

NEED

Some people could benefit from the training experience provided by Toastmasters.  Here are some ideas that might help you target specific segments with specific interests:

  • job seekers – job interview skills
  • employees aspiring to higher management/leadership – to practice running meetings, leadership roles and speaking
  • anyone aspiring to become an elected politician
  • team leaders – to develop or hone meeting and speaking skills
  • entrepreneurs – to present their product or service
  • sales and selling – duh!
  • inmates – to build positive life skills
  • people in rehab/recovery – to build positive life skills
  • English as a second language (ESL) students (or the languages of your Club)
  • authors – to present their material and market their book(s)
  • high school students – to become comfortable with public speaking and running meeting, through the Youth Leadership Program before the skills are required
  • post-secondary students – to prepare for the job market or to present their thesis BEFORE the skills are required
  • contest judges for other organizations
  • marketing and communications professionals (who actually know what MARCOM means)
  • speechwriters – nothing like first-hand experience to know what works and what doesn’t work
  • corporate communications professionals – to practice and hone their craft
  • video and media students – great place to practice creating how-to videos, articles, press releases, and reports
  • people who generally struggle with interpersonal skills
  • people with dating challenges

better listening, thinking, speaking, connecting

REFINE

The following people might already be comfortable with public speaking, but could benefit from experimenting and practicing in a place where the results don’t matter:

  • professional speakers, comedians, actors – new material
  • public speaking trainers, presentation coaches – to practice methods and material; to develop clients; referrals
  • storytellers
  • poets who read their own work
  • middle and executive managers – elevator speeches; speaking with credibility; networking
  • sales managers
  • college instructors and university professors

REFERRAL

The following people and organizations might benefit from knowing about the Toastmasters training program even if they do not personally attend. They would refer the program to others:

  • human resources/training coordinators – to understand and refer employees to the program
  • job seeker services – to refer job seekers
  • sales managers – to refer their salespeople
  • high school teachers, university professors, and college instructors – to refer students

 

Confidence, communication, reaching out, support

No one needs Toastmasters! Instead of selling it – Connect people with the idea of resolving their [specific] pain or receiving a [specific] pleasure/benefit/success. Many people need the benefit of the Toastmasters training program, primarily to develop communication and leadership skills in an environment where the results do not matter… BEFORE those skills are required.

 

The link to Coach Craig and the full article

http://messagemasters.squarespace.com/articles/no-one-needs-toastmasters.html?fb_action_ids=10151194500471630&fb_action_types=og.likes

 

If you see yourself in parts of this article maybe you are ready to reach out. My journey has taken me beyond membership to using my skills in my community, making my difference. I have taken my skills and created my programs, presentations and videos using those skills.

Action, doing it, confidence, stepping out

If that speaks to you, and you would like your overwhelm taken away, so you can shine and tell the world your message in your way let’s chat. If your skills need updating let’s go to it! 

If a 4 week program to cover ‘presenting the best of you’ would suit your needs email me at di@diriddell.com or call 0409 638 248. 

#confidencebydesign #toastmasters #presentingthebestofyou

 

 

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A Top Tip To Boost Your Confidence On A Down Day?

TIP – Choose one thing, just one thing that makes your heart sing and do it.

Confidence, lack of confidence, self esteem, overwhelm

 

This is for the days when you feel the world is against you, you feel tired and weary, you wonder where your confidence has gone just when you need it. If that is you today, stop for a moment and remember that you are not alone and it will and does improve.

For today, choose one, thing, just ONE thing that makes your heart sing and do it…yes take real action. When I do that, it restores my sense of being, gives me a sense of peace and harmony and it boosts my confidence. My list has been created from things I love to do, things that bring me pleasure, things that give me a lift.

Today, I invite you to create yours.

confidence, happy, joy, self esteem, overwhelm

 

Everyone’s list will be different, it maybe music, going for a walk in the mountains or by the sea, lighting a candle, meditating, going for a walk in the garden, visiting an art gallery, indulging in your creative side – painting or craft work, having a bubble bath, having coffee with a friend who lifts your spirits or watch a show that makes you laugh. I urge you start NOW, grab a pen and paper and scribble away, you will find that your list grows very quickly.

My list evolved after working through the book ‘The Artist’s Way’ many years ago and every now and again I see, hear or experience something and add that to my list. It is a living, growing document. My aim is to hit 365, I am well into the 200’s now.

NOTE! It is important that you create your list when you are in a good space. On those days, you can think of many things that make you feel happy.

My reason for saying that is when you are in overwhelm or things are piling on top of you, it is difficult to think clearly. On those days, you might even want to stamp your feet, and think ‘why would I want to pick a stupid flower or listen to music’. Go on, I bet you have reacted like that when someone has tried to get you out of a funk at some stage. Are you smiling?

confidence, overwhelm, anxious, self esteem lack of confidence

 

Negative thoughts and actions take up an enormous amount of energy. It is like group activities, one negative thought takes hold and suddenly the mind draws on all your other negatives to support it and next thing you know your ‘pity party’ is in full swing. What a waste of your time and your beautiful energies! Wouldn’t you rather use your energy for something that you love, something to lift your mood and something that supports you?

What you will discover is that the very act of moving, of standing up and breathing more deeply gets your blood flowing. Add to that the beauty of going into nature, hearing the birds, seeing the flowers, feeling the sunlight on your back, it changes your state despite yourself. You get my meaning, it brings a smile to my face just thinking about it.

On down days, those horror days everyone experiences, your clarity is non- existent and you want to scream at the world. They are not the days to say…’Here I am in a funk what shall I do?’ However, if you can pick up your list, you have many choices at your fingertips. Choose one, just one and do it! It could be just the thing to spring you back to lightness.

Nobody escapes challenges in life and they often come when lest expected at the most inconvenient times. Remember, there can be joy and happiness even in the midst of drama. When you are able to grasp and appreciate those special moments even if they are fleeting it can make a huge difference to your state of mind.

Let’s be honest, life is not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes we struggle within ourselves, sometimes we lose our footing, sometimes we simply need to surrender and reach out for help.

When you reach out for help, you get to see your challenge through another set of ears, another set of eyes and share another’s heart space.

When we are re-inventing ourselves we may experience growth at lightning speed, it’s natural to feel the struggle. It’s normal to feel challenged. It’s common that past stuff that is unresolved will come up, and confidence can slip away in the moment.

And if we ALLOW the space rather than resist it we will find that it’s in these moments that we can shift and grow to our next version of our confident selves.

We have so much wisdom within us, knowing how to access that and bring it forward into your life is what I do as a Confidence coach/mentor. If you are overwhelmed in life right now, reach out, let me help you so you can move forward and life your life being your best.

There will be a new Challenge coming up soon, The Butterfly Net Challenge, it dovetails perfectly into this blog topic. Stay tuned for details.

 

 

 

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Heels Heels and Higher Heels

 

 Heels heels and heels

 

For those of us in maturity is was almost ‘expected’ that we would be well dressed, we would be ladies, we would wear proper underwear, stockings and HIGH HEELS!

It will make you look and feel confident they said! 

I took to that like a duck to water was all of the above. After I married a man in the sugar industry, I found that conservative industry had the above unwritten rules.
Yes I said, they make my legs look good, yes they compliment my dress, yes it became part of my identity. I wore them in every colour, every style and every height. the higher the better.

Comfort? What a ridiculous notion if the dress demanded it I wore them… for as long as was required. Side effects- aching legs, calf cramps and squashed toes – that was inconsequential, I wore them anyway.

Moving right along several decades, when I had been speaking for many years, always well dressed, always in heels. Suddenly I developed a balance problem, vertigo serious enough to stop me in my tracks and just a few days before I was MC for a 3 day Convention.

The day came and I had to wear my flatties. I did a deal with myself I wore them while organising and stepped into heels when on show or on stage. Wearing heels was such an integral part of my persona and presentation I felt undressed in flatties.

Today I watched a video from an article in the Huffington Post – the link is:

https://www.facebook.com/HuffingtonPost/videos/10153871507541130/

A few points to think about:

  • 72% of women have worn heels at some point in their lives
  • The sole of the foot has 200,000 nerve endings that send messages to the brain about the ground we walk on. When we wear heels they mess with the messages.
  • 49% of women ages 18-24 wear heels daily
  • High heels push the hips and spine out of alignment

That has given me food for thought so I have decided my ‘expected’ will be –  well dressed, still a lady, lingerie that suits my style, very occasional hose and flatties most of the time. My reward will be wearing heels for a treat!

It is time for me to transfer the confidence I felt in heels to a new found confidence in my flatties.

 What are your thoughts on heels? Do you wear them? Do you love flatties?

Talking about confidence – I am very excited to be sharing here first my 21 day Confidence Challenge  I am OK, I am ready… http://diriddell.com/?p=1710

Commencing   I am running starting in May 23rd…I would love you to join me. 

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Reflections & 7 Hot Tips For Confidence

 

Reflections can take us so many places… from the active to the passive. It can take us down the should have’s,  what if’s, if only – you get my drift.

Or it can take us down the ‘wow look what I have achieved’. ‘look at the difference I have made in other’s lives’ and the ‘I am proud of the woman I have become’ – you get my drift.

This is my first blog post since mid November. Today I am at a point of reflecting…. if I sit really still the reflection creates clarity – just like the frog, to capture a butterfly in reflection is precious and I see it as a symbol of transformation.

 

Refelctions, positive, confidence,  self esteem

 

If I wriggle  and dash about that reflection becomes distorted and the clarity disappears. I have been doing a lot of the dashing about and doing – life in 2015 was tumultuous in many ways, a year of triumphs and tears, starting and getting thrown off course by life’s events and a year of personal growth..

 

lack of confidence, lack of self eesteem and self worth

 

Maybe you have been down that track also, maybe your confidence has bounced around between triumphs and tears. We are not totally confident all of the time. It waxes and wanes as we go through life, taking on new things, new projects, stretching ourselves, succeeding, still getting there, learning to say no, overcoming challenges and finding a balance that suits your lifestyle.

When things don’t go to plan we can easily let our confidence get bent out of shape – yet it is often in one area yet we allow that to override the positives in  our lives.

 

Confidence beyond 50, Self confidence, overcoming fear, self belief, self worth

 

 

HOT TIPS

 #1 Use your time for reflection as a positive planning tool, not as self flagellation time.

#2 Be realistic – stretching yourself is not about pushing yourself to breaking point.

#3 Ask for help – avoid the stoic ‘I can do it all by myself’ track.

#4 Create a morning ritual to get yourself into a peak performance state. One that suits your lifestyle and you love doing.

#5 Create time for self care and nurture your relationships

#6 Take the time to acknowledge your achievements no matter how small.

#7  Then’ go for it’ whatever that means to you with every fibre of your being.

 

self confidence, self worth, self respect, self esteem

 

Start today and make the changes that will make a difference in your life… don’t know how? Contact me for a  complimentary 20mins session.

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