Category Confidence Di Style

The Wisdom Whisperer… Confidence Tip No 5…Eye Contact

 

 Good morning… it is a cool morning here on the Sunshine Coast and the sun is shining through my office window.  The Wisdom Whisperer returns…again…there is more. To recap – as the ‘Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence’ I am chatting and sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

Confidence self belief self worth self esteem

Today is the 5th blog post of 7 in the series. Tip 1 was Trust, tip 2 was Smile, Tip 3 was to laugh and tip 4 was to keep breathing. Today the tip is about eye contact.  Pat in the image is thinking I have to look at you?????? Now is that expression or what?

 

confidence, lookin out, connecting, self belief self worth

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach. That is Ok, confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall like a plaque and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’.

 

TIP 5 MAKE EYE CONTACT

 

In our society not making eye contact is perceived as hiding something, un-confident and showing low self confidence. That may not be true however it is how it appears.

In saying ‘make eye contact’ I am not suggesting that you stare someone down that is unnerving to a point of rudeness. It is about having the confidence to look a person in the eye when speaking to them some of the time. To really connect, I love eyes, especially when someone’s laughter reaches their eyes.

It can demonstrate happiness, sadness, delight and everything in between. A picture says a thousand words as they say…

Beauty Clearing the eyes eyes, clearing, confidence, fears,security

 

And of course show a respect for cultural differences. That is another whole subject…

Tips in support of positive eye contact

  • It helps build rapport

  • It shows you are interested

  • It encourages active listening i.e. not jut paying lip service to the person who is speaking to you.

  • When your smile reaches your eyes they sparkle

  • It helps you to moderate what and how you speak by the response you see.

 My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self confidence. To enhance their ability to present themselves to their best and use eye contact for a deeper connection.

  

A gentle reminder…

Tip 1 Trust and believe in yourself

Tip 2 Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident

Tip 3 Laugh – life does not have an undo button

Tip 4 Breathe – blue is a lovely colour but not on your face

Tip 5 Eye contact is encourages active listening

If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence. Contact me via the website if you think I can help you.

I would be delighted to hear from you.

I would love you to share your thoughts on how effective you consider eye contact to be.

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Confidence Tip No 4 – Keep Breathing

 

Good morning… it is a cool Friday morning here, and here I am…
 The Wisdom Whisperer returns…there is more. To recap (as I did get side tracked onto other topics) – as the ‘Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence’ I am sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

 Today’s tip is ‘to keep breathing’ the 4th blog post  in a series of 7. Tip 1 was Trust, tip 2 was Smile and Tip 3 was laugh.

 

confidencebeyond50, self belief, se

 

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach.  Confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…

and you say ‘I want some of what she has got’.

 

wisdom whisperer 5

 

TIP 4  KEEP BREATHING

 Have you noticed  that when you are feeling unconfident, when you are unsure  of something, when you feel out of your depth or when you get a fright, like stage fright that you hold your breath? Most times you may not even realise you are doing it.
 And when you hold you breath for an extended time…you will go blue, an alarming shade of blue. Girls blue is a lovely colour but not on your face. So keep breathing… please!
 Breathing is what brings the oxygen into your body, it is part of your very existence…you all know what happens if you stop breathing. The unthinkable!

 Tips in support of breathing

  • When you are oxygenated you have a healthy pink colour.
  • When you stand tall and pull your shoulders back it opens up your chest cavity so you can breath more deeply.
  • It gives you energy.
  • When you breath deeply and evenly it allows your voice to flow easily and effortlessly.
  • A deep even breath gives off an air of calm which relaxes people
 My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self confidence. To enhance their ability to present themselves at their best.
If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence.
 I would be delighted to hear from you.
A gentle reminder…
Tip 1 Trust and believe in yourself
Tip 2 Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident
Tip 3 Laugh – life does not have an undo button
Tip 4 Breathe – blue is a lovely colour but not on your face

 

 I would love you to share What benefits do you see in deep breathing?

 

 And what do I do? I am a confidence coach for women 50 . Women who have lived, loved, lost and survived.
 A lack of confidence can sneak in if you are not getting the most out of life, you may feel your age renders you undesirable, that you have become invisible or unimportant, fear may get in the way of your making prudent decisions or you may be feeling overwhelmed if you are starting over.
 If that is you join me for an incredible journey as I use my skills to develop or refine your unique style of confidence.

 

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I Wanted To Be A Nurse … really, really!

 

Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up?  I wanted to be a nurse and if I couldn’t …then I would settle for being a hairdresser.

Nurses, confidence, confdiecnebeyond50 , self esteem, self belief

 

Why am I talking about it now? Because it is International Nurses Day . It simply set me thinking about my experiences over many decades.

Nurses are a  special breed and I salute them all past and present.  The work, the tension, the pressure was compensated by the camaraderie we created. I cherish my nursing friends.

I don’t remember especially nursing pets to health as a little girl, my big sister went nursing and  maybe that sowed the seed… I do know the intention hung in there until the proud day I was accepted as an assistant nurse ( I think that is what it was called, I can’t quite remember). In fact I was not 17,  in those days, the early 60′s you were accepted earlier to do the lowly duties. Believe me there were plenty of them.

 

 Starting out….

nursing, lack confidence, confidence, self belief self esteem

 

 And who I became…

nurses, self confidence, self esteem self belief

 

When I think about all the patients and their loved ones that I have worked with over the years, I know most of them don’t remember me nor I them. But I do know that I gave a little piece of myself to each of them and they to me and those threads make up the beautiful tapestry in my mind that is my career in nursing. ~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses

 My romantic thoughts of wiping a fevered brow and being worshipped by all and sundry were soon dispelled. Work, discipline and multi-tasking ( another word for being everywhere at once, doing what was required  before you were asked and definitely being out of the ward before the Dr’s arrived to do rounds) were the order of the day.

 My memories are stirring, life and society was so different…imagine doing these things today:

  •  All patients were washed and in clean clothes before breakfast,
  • Beds made with perfectly mitred corners, 2 pillows with the opening facing away from the door (would you believe I still do it. Even now I can’t leave pillow facing the wrong way).
  • NO ONE, I mean no one sat on a patients bed in fact nurses did not sit down at all except when they went on a meal break.
  • The ward sister served the meals from a communal trolley, there was no choice. Patients on a ‘light diet’ had the pleasure of things like tripe or brains in white sauce whether they liked it or not.
  • Your temperature was taken very 4 hours whether you needed it or not.
  • Nothing was disposable – everything was steamed cleaned from the pans to the dressing trays and inventories were taken three of times a day of everything bar the bathroom curtains. And signed off like it was a binding legal document.
  • It was a major incident if you broke a thermometer – none of this pop it in your year like we have now.
  • You were out of sight during Dr’s rounds and you never, ever spoke to a Dr…that was Sister’s cherished job.
  • No self respecting patient would ask for a pan during Dr’s visit and it was a blast from Sister should this occur.
  • The pecking order of seniority was enforced to the letter and beyond.

 Then personally…

  •  Our uniforms were like bleached calico you could not have seen through them with x-ray vision.
  • It was mandatory that you ‘WORE’  a full slip. Matron would somehow hone in on the poor girl who had chosen to wear a half slip and she would be sent back to the quarters to ‘get dressed’. I never figured out how she knew…maybe we looked guilty. What did she do? She would come up and lift the front of your uniform to check you had a bra and slip strap.
  • No make up or jewellery was allowed your hair was required to be covered stockings and hall lace up shoes. .
  • We worked split shift to cover the patient meal times. On Saturday when we had a few hours off in the afternoon, we would wash our hair and I would think I will just leave a couple of rollers on the top and cover it with my cap. WRONG! Sister would see through the minute gap in your cap, ask you to remove it, take down your hair, twist it and put your cap back on. It was ‘bad hair day’ by the time you went off duty at 6pm.
  • We were required to be in bed by 10pm and lights out at 10.30pm. Yes they checked… how do I know I got caught out!!!
  • We had 2 days off a week and were allowed to sleep out if it was home or to an approved address. How do I know? I got caught out!
  • Our privilege was  late pass till midnight once a week and a ball pass on a special occasion till 2am. When you came back to the quarters you had to sign in with the night sister, a great way to ensure our sobriety.
  • Lectures were in our own time and if that clashed with your days off tough luck, you stayed in.
  • Nurses never got sick… and if you did then you were either sick enough to be hospitalised and heaven help you it better be bad… or well enough to go to work.

You get the picture, I could write for hours (but I won’t). In a nutshell I stayed, I survived and I thrived. Then I married and had a 16 year break. How the nursing world had changed in that time.  That is another story.

Life has changed, society has changed, nursing has changed. What hasn’t changed is the willingness of nurses to put themselves on the line because they care for their patients welfare.

nurses, confidence self belief self esteem

 

If you have a nurse amongst your family or friends give them a huge hug in acknowledgement of their efforts. They may not sit and wipe your fevered brow but they are the cornerstone of care when you are sick.

A huge hug from me for all the nurses out there… I wanted to be a nurse… really and despite all it was a fabulous grounding for life.

Yes we would huddle in each others rooms and complain and compare notes but the discipline, skills and being a multi tasker extraordinaire  gave me incredible life skills that have served me well.

 Do you have a juicy nurses story to share?  I am sure other readers would love to hear.

 And what do I do? I am a confidence coach for women 50 . Women who have lived, loved, lost and survived.

 A lack of confidence can sneak in if you are not getting the most out of life, you may feel your age renders you undesirable, that you have become invisible or unimportant, fear may get in the way of your making prudent decisions or you may be feeling overwhelmed if you are starting over.

 If that is you join me for an incredible journey as I use my skills to develop or refine your unique style of confidence.

 

Background…The International Council of Nurses (ICN) has celebrated this day since 1965. In 1953 Dorothy Sutherland, an official with the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare, proposed that President Dwight D. Eisenhower proclaim a “Nurses’ Day”; he did not approve it. In January 1974, 12 May was chosen to celebrate the day as it is the anniversary of the birth of Florence Nightingale, who is widely considered the founder of modern nursing. Each year, ICN prepares and distributes the International Nurses’ Day Kit. The kit contains educational and public information materials, for use by nurses everywhere. In 1999 the British public sector union UNISON voted to ask the ICN to transfer this day to another date, saying Nightingale does not represent modern nursing. As of 1998, 8 May was designated as annual National Student Nurses’ Day. As of 2003, the Wednesday within National Nurses Week, between 6 and 12 May, is National School Nurse Day.

 

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A Choice for Change – Compassion, Love, Forgiveness?

 

                            Today I pray for compassion, love and forgiveness.

 

Confidence and confident women, mature women

 

We do have a choice to make a difference, we always have a choice, doing nothing is even a choice.  As a mature woman possibly a mother or grandmother you have a unique role to play.

I often say the only constant in my life over the 12 years I have lived alone is change. Learning to adapt to and embrace change creates a wonderful basis for re-building and re-charging your life.

My experience in life has shown me that learning, developing and showing compassion, love and forgiveness gives you peace. It took me many years and the writing and publishing of my story to totally embrace these three attributes.

It is not about saying ‘what happened’ is OK… it is about forgiving their souls and asking what happened in their lives that caused them to want to inflict such pain on their families. Everyone has their unique journey to travel and we are better served by allowing that to unfold.

Today my heart goes out to mother’s everywhere who have lost their children whatever their age. Loss has happened since time immemorial and it will continue to happen, that is life… today it is right in our face. The media is alive with coverage of last nights event. How sad that the best choice is the death penalty and my deep condolences go out to the families of Andrew Chan, Myuran Sukumaran and the others executed last night. May they now rest in peace.

My hope is that this would be a clear message about the devastation and destruction caused by drugs, greed, violence and addictions. Not just for this occasion but in our society.

It seems that recently there has been an acceleration of pain and horror for families. Last weekend was the 100th anniversary of Anzac Day  and we looked back on the senseless loss of the lives of young men some even younger than 17. Then 20 years later to face further loss of sons in WW11.

In our own worlds we may experience the loss of a child, a relationship, a home, a career, friends or some other loss from a  violent or peaceful incident.  It may have been sudden, long and protracted, self imposed or thrust upon you.

Whatever it is, it is of the utmost importance to you, it is your life that you see crashing and crumbling around you. You are likely feeling numb, angry, vulnerable, scared, anxious or overwhelmed.

 

confidence, self esteem anxiousness

 

The Universe does leave the door open for those who wish to move through it. It is possible for life to go on, for life to be good, different, maybe even better.  It is OK to be vulnerable as you peek beyond your grief and learn to live, celebrate, laugh and live again.

When you choose to change, when you choose to let go and when your choose to embrace compassion, love and forgiveness your life will change.

Is it easy? NO, it isn’t! It is a huge step from that place of overwhelm, the pain of the moment to start moving forward. Let love find a way through your vulnerability to your truth, to your authenticity. Seek and accept assistance, there is a plethora of agencies out there to help you and your loved ones.

As mature women we have a unique and valuable role to play in a society of our making.  When we choose health, well being and love, when we live with compassion, love and forgiveness we are being positive and powerful role models for our families and our society.

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

 

Our lives and our families are precious. Much love and hugs to all.

If you life is in overwhelm you may like to contact me for a chat. My passion is confidence, yes helping mature women to confidently face their world starting from where they are right now.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Confidence Tip No 3 – Laugh

 

Hello there…The Wisdom Whisperer returns… To recap – as the ‘Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence’ I am sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

Today is the 3rd blog post of 7 in the series. Tip 1 was trust, and tip 2 was smile now let’s have some fun and add a smile. They say laughter is the best medicine.

 

smile, happy, confidnece, self belief, self worth, confidencebeyond50

 

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach.  Confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

 Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’.

 

confidence, self belief, self esteem, confidencebeyond50

 TIP 3 LAUGH

 Ahhh you say first smile and then laugh… yes, yes, yes!

Pat’s laugh here just makes you want to join in…

We could all benefit from having a belly laugh every day it releases the ‘happy hormones’ in the body and flows right through you leaving you feeling light and sparkly. As a bonus you may even get excited about your day.

Remember to laugh, go on…have a go! Life does not have an undo button. Enjoy it and your journey to the fullest. Even in the midst of chaos  a well placed laugh can break the tension. Laughter yoga is a wonderful activity and there are laughter yoga classes all over the world…if you get really involved they even have Conventions.

 

Wisdom whisperer 4

Tips in favour of a great laugh

  • Releases happy hormones
  • Helps you gain a fresh perspective
  • It is like a safety valve and can be a saving grace
  • It is infectious, others will son join in
  • It is a universal language
  • People are drawn to happy people
  • Being able to laugh at yourself is a wonderful attribute

My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self-confidence. To boost their ability to live, love and laugh. If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence.

I would be delighted to hear from you.

A gentle reminder…

  1. Trust and believe in yourself
  2. Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident
  3. Laugh – life does not have an undo button

 

I would love to hear your views on the benefits of laughter.

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Tip 2 – Smile for Confidence

 

The Wisdom Whisperer returns… the last blog post Tip 1 was Trust.

To recap – as the Wisdom Whisperer of Confidence I am sharing from experience gained over almost six decades.

 Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach.  Confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’.

 The Wisdom Whisperer No 2)

TIP 2 SMILE

 A smile is worth a thousand words, it is a universal language, it connects and engages people and you never know what a difference your smile can make to someone else’s day. It may be the only smile they get all day.

As an exercise tomorrow smile at the first 5 people you meet for the day. You might get all excited and smile at everyone all day…what a bonus!

And yes, Pat is about to laugh in this image…

Whispering wisdom 2

 

Tips in praise of smiling

It is the best make-up you can wear

  • It adds to your attraction value in all walks of life
  • It is the best ice-beaker
  • It is attractive and makes you look confident
  • It makes you look younger and it takes les muscles to smile than it does to frown
  • Allow your smile to reach your eyes, it will make them sparkle
  • Smile when you answer the phone, people can tell. It shows in your voice and connection.

My passion is to help women utilise all of their attributes in building or boosting their self confidence. If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence.

I would be delighted to hear from you.

A gentle reminder…

Tip 1 Trust and believe in yourself

Tip 2 Smile it is attractive and makes you look confident

I would love to hear your views on the benefits of a confident smile.

 

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

If you need to reach out and your confidence needs a boost contact me through the website and book in for a confidence session. Learn and laugh as your confidence grows.

 

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The Wisdom Whisperer… Whispering About Confidence Tip No 1

 

And who you ask is the wisdom whisperer? In short…me!

 

Confidence, self esteem, self worth, confident women, women 50+

 

And how did that come about?  I attended a networking function and Robyn Henderson the networking Guru and master at self publishing was sharing during her presentation about looking at what you do from a different perspective.

We chatted later, I have known Robyn for some years and we had a mini brain storming session. She suggested I try ‘wisdom whisperer’.  To look at the skills and knowledge I have accumulated over almost six decades and share.

Recently I have also been doing an image challenge with the amazing Donna Moritz. I came up with many images that I ‘might’ use…and this collage happened. My beautiful friend Pat happily posed with me as we slipped through the tips.

I will be sharing 7 Confidence tips over 7 blogs. This list is by no means exhaustive…simply a starting point to demonstrate what I do.

Confidence is one of those things that we take for granted if we have it.  Other times it is elusive and no matter what… it seems to be just beyond our reach.  Confidence is not something you ‘reach’, pop it on the wall and have it forever. It is a living, breathing, fluctuating energy and it loves attention.

 

 Confidence is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’.

 

TIP No1 –  TRUST

Trust and believe in yourself. I know Pat looks skeptical here and when I tell clients ‘to trust’ themselves that is a common expression.

 

Trust, confidence, self doubt, self belief, self worth, anxiety, nervous , confident women, women 50+

 

Our inner being knows much, our U/C knows much and if you had negative words thrown at you as a child your self trust factor may be low.

The U/C mind tries to rule our world by keeping the status quo, it hates change and sees it as a threat. Bob Proctor put our a CD called your XY Factor on this subject calling X the gatekeeper to your mind keeping the ‘new’ Y out. If you can lay your hands on it is worth a listen.

 

 Steps to build trust

  • Be gentle with yourself as you takes steps to success.
  • Be aware permanent change does not happen at the conscious level. You can promise yourself  anything…without the inner work to change your U/C mind it will be unlikely to work.
  • Use processes to support you including watching your language patterns,
  • Take the time to celebrate small successes
  • Keep yourself on track – that can be difficult to maintain on your own. Having a coach to support you makes a huge difference.

 

My passion is to assist women to use their voice of confidence for their success. If my words resonate with you…and if you think you, or a woman you know could benefit from working with me I am seeking women 50+ or even younger who want to boost or build their confidence. I would be delighted to hear from you.

Remember.. Tip1 –  trusting and believing in yourself is part of your confidence journey.

I will leave you with a question…What would be your greatest confidence challenge? I would love to her your views.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Things I Wish I had Known When I Married….44 Years Ago!

 

Today I am being reflective… it would have been my 44th wedding anniversary last week and it set me thinking. I look at the woman I am today.. mother, grandmother,  great grandmother, a speaker, workshop facilitator, MC and Confidence Coach. Yes that’s  who I am today.  But it’s not the story I used to tell.

 

cONFIDENCE, LIFE CHALLENGES, SELF ESTEEM, RESILIENCE

 

Today I wonder who I was back then, at some stage in our lives, we come to a point where we wonder about how we used to think and act and what might have made us do that. I’m not sure if it is something that comes with age or if it might be as some researchers say, that changes in thinking occur when a roadblock in one’s life causes the brain to have a kind of accident in thinking.  Then new neural pathways have to be forged because the brain cannot access old thinking patterns.

My particular roadblock happened twelve years ago when my husband, Les, of thirty one years died and life as I had known it came to an end.   It was as if time got muddled up and I was catapulted back to a time before Les, before family, before the halcyon days of being the wife of an industrial chemist and the corporate world of the sugar industry in its hey day.  For nearly seven years I was caught up in an old story from my childhood and teenage years, something I had safely buried as my past, or so I thought.

Now I can see where I faltered, where I didn’t understand or where I was just plain stubborn.

With six decades of wisdom behind me I am sharing 5 things that would have been a fabulous advantage to me over the years.

 

Confidence, self esteem, challenges

 

1. Relationships do not go in a straight line – life is not a fairytale

2. Challenges happen – they are part of life

3. You can and will survive after the loss of a relationship

4. We give love in the manner we like to receive it

5. The only constant in life is change

 

 1. Relationships do not go in a straight line – life is not a fairy tale

Oh dear I had the ‘Cinderella Complex’ … I thought Prince Charming was going to come and sweep me off my feet … well he did! I had a very loving supporting and loyal man as my husband. However…there was some reckoning to go along with the fairy dust

Marriage is life, it is long term and I naively thought it would be all up and up, that my problems were behind me.  Believe me there were countless curve balls along the way.  I had a lot of growing up to do.

ACTION – Take the time to work on your relationship, value and appreciate what you have.  Relationships take time and energy.

 

2. Challenges happen – they are part of life

OOhhhhhhhhhhh should I list them? Perhaps just some in bullet form.

  • I thought 4 kids aged 10-16 were going to be like my patients from nursing and do just as I said. Well that didn’t happen.
  • I thought having a baby on top of that would not be a problem.
  • Les had his first cardiac incident  10 years after we were married. These continued for 20 years with him developing a new one most years despite my telling him there was no pre-requisite to do so.
  • The sudden plane crash death of my brother just before I took on a major leadership role.

Ok that’s enough you get my drift. Just when you think things are going swimmingly then the Universe gives you a little or a big surprise.

ACTION – Embrace challenges, make friends with them and work through it. It is amazing how resilient and strong we really are.

 

3. You can and will survive after the loss of a relationship

 These words were uttered to me by a very close friend in Les’ dying days. I was in total denial. In fact life has turned out beautifully… after I sorted some challenges and I just know there are soo many more to come.

I also mention here that a divorce is still the death of a relationship simply in another form. In some ways death my be easier as it is final and they are not coming back. In a divorce the other party is still around and that can create another whole set of challenges.

ACTION  - You can and will survive and life can be fabulous again.

 

4.  We give love in the manner we like to receive it

 Oohh how I wish I had realised that. It was reading the ’5 Languages of Love’ that brought this home to me. Let me give you an example. Say I like to receive love by ‘quality time’. My partner likes to ‘receive gifts’.

You marry, life goes on, children arrive, both of you get busy, he gets busier and has less time at home. It is the night of their anniversary, he promises to be home early for a celebration. Then he gets held up at work and rushes into the florist and buys a bunch of red roses and rushes in all smiles. he is greeted by stony silence…he loves gifts and think this will make her really happy.

Meanwhile at home she is spitting chips because what is important to her is quality time and he is LATE! She rejects his flowers, he can’t understand why she is upset. What is important to her is their time together.

There is nothing wrong with either person, it is simply a misunderstanding about their love language. This knowledge would have saved me a number of spirited discussions if I had known that  in my early married life.

ACTION  - Keep the lines of communication open and seek to understand where your partner is coming from in their actions.

 

5. The only constant in life is change

 I spent years getting my ducks in a row by being super organised, planned, done and dusted… I discovered a couple of things along the way.

  • Sometimes they were not even my ducks
  • Even if they were my ducks the Universe loves a joke and is prone to side swipe you just when you think you have it nailed.
  • Having strategies to cope (known and in place when life is good) enables you to face future change much more effectively.
  • Be aware of where and when your tipping point is and take preventative action early when change pops up unexpectedly.  For it is when several things happen at once.

ACTION – Embrace change, welcome it and give yourself little tasks to keep you on your game.

 

Confidence, sharing, support

 

While you have been reading, you have probably been distracted by your own thoughts about things you wish you knew earlier in life. That is wonderful, take those thoughts, embrace them, thank them and you may even decide that your behaviour no longer serves you. Simply let it go. When you know differently, do you differently.

I was fortunate in that I had angels in my life who suggested that I revisit old behaviours and actions and see what lessons they had that would be useful now.  And angels that they are, they were right, so much of my competence and confidence can be traced to those things that I gave my energy and commitment too.

44 years ago a nervous, excited and happy girl took her wedding vows. That girl…yes me… well I scarcely recognise her.  Today I am a happy, excited and calm woman eagerly looking forward to what will happen next in life.

My view of relationships has matured and deepened and I would say I would be a better partner than I was 44 years ago… of course I have loads of life experience behind me now.  Who knows what the future holds whoever comes into my life I know we will enhance each others lives… what I can say is I have lived a full on, active, involved life and I love every minute of it. I can’t see that changing any time soon.

Now I work with confidence – I refer to it as that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’. Yes life I definitely want more of that, I call it confidence in life.
I would love you to share your thoughts about your lessons learned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Going Grey Taboos You Should Break

 

Does the thought and signs that you are going grey send you to the dark side? If so let’s chat about it and rattle the ‘going grey skeleton’. And if we are going to rattle it then let’s make it dance.

The grey or coloured debate rages around us – shall I colour it or shall I age gracefully? Colouring your hair is a fabulous option and we have unlimited choices. Going grey is also beautiful but my thoughts are remember ‘salt and pepper’ is for the table!

 

grey hair, aging, confideece, vitality, self esteem, mature women women 50+

Let’s debunk some going grey taboos…

 1. Breaking A Beauty Taboo On Grey Hair

Take a moment and remember when you cited your first grey hair… I was in my late 30′s. I did what I am sure every woman does – pulled it out and examined it closely, unbelievingly. It was actually white and translucent like the life had been sucked from it – like ‘I have lost something’.  Later I was sharing my story with girlfriends we all laughed…then stopped…and looked. We actually looked at each other for other signs of this aging process..

An article in the Daily Mail stated… Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford explains going grey has huge emotional and cultural significance. “You’ll often see your first grey hair before your first wrinkle so, for most women it’s the first time that they’re confronted with their own mortality,” she says, pointing out it’s not just the idea that we’re getting old that bothers us, but the idea that we’re actually already past it.

 2. It Means You Have Let Yourself Go – If You Go Grey

Nicole Kidman attended a film premiere recently with an inch of silver regrowth and it made headlines… questions raged like

  • Has she let herself go?
  • Is she depressed?
  • Is her career over?
  • Will her husband leave her?
  • Is she letting her side down?

Heaven forbid she had an inch of re-growth not a terminal illness… It has nothing to do with letting your self go… and everything to do with embracing who you are.

 3. You Will No Longer Be Sexually Attractive – When You Are Grey

Really? Did you ever wonder if your grandparents had an active sex life? I can’t speak for the past but this grandmother does. In fact making love in maturity has a richness and passion that may even surpass the bloom of youth. Having grey hair has nothing to do with your sexual attractiveness.

 4. What will I look like if I did…shock, horror! With Grey Hair

Maybe all those negative little thoughts are niggling at you. That gentle and not so gentle ribbing from your partner may be stirring you up… you know the comments I mean.

  • What would you look like if you stopped dying your hair?
  • Would it be ‘silver’ or ‘salt and pepper’ just like on the table?
  • Or worse would you look like a woolly dog.

 5. Grey hair Mean Loss Of Youth

Why is it that men ‘look distinguished’ or are lovingly referred as the ‘grey fox’ and women simply ‘look old’ or they say ‘she let herself go’. Grey hair is a visible sign to women that their youth is past and many mourn it.  Girls we are not 20, yes the first flush of youth is past…embrace the vitality and aliveness of maturity with both hands. It is not worse just different.  If a woman thinks going grey makes a her less beautiful, less feminine and less desirable then she will be. If she embraces it life can be fabulous.

On a lighter side – Then there is the other end…the end you sit on.  Bet you just checked – right? The Daily Mail summed it up with…

  •  Women don’t discuss it, they sit on it and hope it goes away
  • You know,  your grandmother called it ‘down there’
  • First mistake is wearing your glasses in the bath, the second was looking ‘down there’.
  • Yes not only one hair but 3…can anyone relate to that?
  • Coming to terms with the assorted indignities of aging the wrinkles, thread veins,  the downward gravitational pull of every bit of flesh not nailed to the bone… and now this!

 6. Grey hair Means Loss Of Fertility 

If ‘you are grey you could not possibly fall pregnant’. I would think that was a good thing. Falling pregnant has nothing to do with the colour of your hair… After menopause or a hysterectomy many women feel freer about making love as there is no fear of pregnancy.

 7. You Will Be Redundant And Invisible If You Go Grey

If you go down the ‘oohh not gray hair’ roller coaster… Next you will think you should be knitting tea cosies on the verandah in your slippers. That you are past your use by date, you have become invisible and yes…if you do you will be by passed.  Or worse the term pops up you ‘turned grey’ rather like ‘turned milk’… no good, no fun and had to be thrown out.

                I don’t think so!

The fact is going grey has been the ultimate beauty taboo because many women refuse to embrace it, we have lost sight of what is normal and natural.

There are a handful of wonderful mature women such as Judi Dench and Helen Mirren who are grey and gorgeous. Yet Nicole Kidman is considered to be slipping, depressed and letting her side down and she is gorgeous.

You don’t have to be a move star to be visible…

Cliché it may be but life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. And that has little to so what the colour of your hair.

Our world is full of options and choices. The most important factors are:

  • What colour or embracing grey makes you feel best?
  • Are you vibrant and alive about your decision and your life?
  • Does colour or grey suit your life style – is what you are doing easy to care for and sustainable?
  • Whatever your hair colour, your skin colour changes with age  and you may need a change in the colours that look good on you. whoopee new clothes!

Whatever your choice be happy, embrace who you are, enjoy life.

If you want some great ideas visit Pinterest and my board

https://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/marvelous-mature-women/

and https://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/confidence/

I would love to hear your opinion. What do you think? To go grey or not?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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5 Ways Confident Speaking Will Brighten Your 2015

 

Confiednt women  nervousness women 50+

 

1. You will be fabulous

Speaking confidently is a ‘must have’ accessory and being confident is the best make up you can wear. That inner glow will put a spring in your step, you will stand taller, breathe more deeply which allows your confidence to shine.

 2. You are able to express yourself easily and effortlessly

Being able to collect your thoughts then express them is not always an easy thing to do whether the situation is social or a formal.  When you speak with confidence the brain clicks in to support you and the words flow.

3. Honour Your Confidence

The basis of confident speaking is confidence, in yourself, to speak out and express yourself. And confidence is a habit…just like getting dressed every morning…I bet you didn’t forget to get dressed when you got up today… did you?. The more exercise your confidence, the easier it is and the better you become.

 4.  Your nerves work with you

You have all heard the phrase ‘getting your butterflies to fly in formation’. It is not about squashing them, or deleting them. It is about re-directing that nervous energy into working with you to add fire and spice to your presentation.

 5. Your motivation will soar

Have you ever noticed that when you are in the space, all is going well, you are feeling confident, you bound out of bed and can’t wait to get started. When your confidence in you grows and your speaking becomes more confident then you start making your difference. That is what gives that extra zing to you motivation level.

 

Confident speaking

If fear of speaking is holding you back then you are in the right place…and you would like to have confident speaking brighten your 2015… then my Speakers First Workshop may be just what you are looking for.

Who would attend? Women, maybe you or someone you know to increasing your confidence, have fun and learn techniques to impact more people with your message as you communicate and connect more effectively.

Be brave, step up and brighten your 2015…contact Di 0409 638 248 or di@diriddell.com for further information.

 

Do leave a comment, I love to hear your thoughts on the subject of confident speaking. Cheers Di xx

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