Category Sensuality, Dating & Relationhsips

Sensuality for Women 50+ takes Confidence

In maturity we relax, we are sure of ourselves, and it shows and flows.

There has never been

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You, Dating Again Di…And ‘Why Not’ Came My Confident Reply?

 

Was I confident when I started

The burning question is…was I this forthright and confident when I started? Noooooooo.. and that is the reason I decided on this post. Maybe you to have hit the time when you are contemplating or starting back on the dating scene . There can and is a multitude of reasons that you may be dating again….

You may be feeling a little un-confident, nervous, have sweaty palms, think and say ‘I can’t, I can’t’. Perhaps those who profess to be there for you are saying ‘Oohh I wouldn’t so that if I were you’ – that really helps doesn’t it!

Or you hear the comment what is he is an axe murderer? Even if he were I don’t think they come with it tatooed on his forehead….

Soothsayers go away draining confidence

Yes I know…now you are saying and what credentials do you bring to this weighty subject Di? Experiential experience by the bucketload girls! It came with lightening, flames, fluff, fireworks, luck and  even roses.

 

Experiential learning.you betcha nd that tales confidence

12 years ago at the age of 55 I found myself single again following the death of my husband. And dating has been one amazing, incredible, enjoyable, maddening, frustrating and fabulous experience.

It is a very different experience dating later in life when each party has a considerable history… it is exciting, different and the dating rules I think have changed with the internet. My late husband was a blind date from my nursing days and internet dating has rather replaced the blind date of yesteryear.

In the process I am discovering and enjoying the new me, the new experiences and have a host of stories to prove it. I am outgoing and confident…and my sensuality has been awakened, explored, refined and blossomed along the way.

Yes.. sensuality and internet dating is what led me to blogging… It started on Paint The Ceiling Beige’ where everything is up for discussion. Mature women have a host of life experiences, face similar problems, have likely had sensational successes and fabulous failures especially in the dating game.  It is a very different world to when we were young. We have accumulated much wisdom. And… just like in real life, you never know where a ‘girl’s discussion’ will lead…often to amazing places…and it does!

Paint Ceiling Beige banner confidence and sensuality

I was interviewed this week for an article about dating beyond 50 and in preparing for that I realised I had collated quite a comprehensive check list.

7 Points to make dating easier

  • Resilience
  • Open minded
  • Sense of humour – even being ok with taking the mickey out of yourself
  • Backbone
  • Boundaries
  • Being a realist
  • Confidence and inner strength

5 Points to consider

  • Safety – first and foremost. Let someone know where you are and how long (early on)
  • Be circumspect about giving out personal details
  • Don’t listen to a sob story and give in to requests for money – their stories can be very creative
  • Have fun
  • Set your boundaries

This will be part of a series of blog posts. Each of the  ’7 Points To Make Dating Easier’ and ’5 Points To Consider’ are worthy of exploring in fun and openness yet with a message.

I have loads of stories to share of my experiences… some I will share over time. And no, this is not a man bashing exercise… the guys in my stories may be perfect for some lady…just not me. And I can just imagine them sitting with their mates saying…. I met this tall slim blonde from Nambour… and do you know what she said!!!!!

I met this tall slim blonde..confidence plus

Light hearted? Yes…

With a message? Yes!

Would having someone there to support you help?  I will leave you to answer…

 

Warm regards Di…and what …you are asking… does this woman do?

I am passionate about mature women having the confidence and personal presentation to support their life choices.

Do you feel, look and speak with confidence? If not…my skill lies in developing your style… your mind and body… so you can shine and be your best… in your business..

If that is not happening for you…let me help you…

Would you like to know more?

Slip over to  http://diriddell.com/confidence-coaching-2/

Or Facebook http://facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Or Pinterest : http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

 

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When It Feels Like Life Is Falling Apart…And It’s Christmas.

 

We have this ‘societal norm’ that all is calm, peaceful, happy and loving at Christmas. And it can be, in fact it is wonderful when that happens…and it takes a special kind of confidence to speak out… when it is not happening.

Just as well I am not wired for brain activity.. it would be buzzing in overdrive in every colour of the rainbow arcing from one wild thought to the next right now. A million thoughts are spinning through my head and that chattering committee is in top form …a very loud top form… dragging up every negative that has occurred throughout my entire life!

Why am I writing about his now? Because my beautiful recent relationship has come to a conclusion. Yes it is sad, yes it hurts…a lot, and yes, I will survive. And yes it was worth it.

Anybody else been there? I know a number of people going through relationship breakdowns right now and they too are hurting. My words may offer help and comfort to someone you know. If so feel free to share…

Now is the time to say ‘this too shall pass’…. and ‘life has no rule book… and ‘relationships have no guarantees. ‘

This too shall pass..confidently

Christmas is an emotionally charged time and when life, relationships and jobs fall apart … it leaves you feeling flat, confused and fuzzy.

After considerable thought my note to self says…

  • Take care of self love and self care.. avoid beating myself up. Remember the positives and what I have to offer.
  • It is not what happens to me…it is how I handle it and what I become as a result. This is part of my journey…life took an unexpected detour…I have overcome much worse…I can do this
  • Take appropriate action… for me that includes journaling, music, tapping as in EFT and mirror work
  • Avoid isolating…get out and mix, get gorgeous and do something
  • Express gratitude – we experienced an amazing fabulous relationship and I am full of gratitude for those beautiful memories of love, fun and support.
  • Where to from here? Starting with peace and acceptance, I am being kind to myself, learning from the experience and working on a plan to move forward.

Note to self with confident

My next considerable thought is I had wondered if I would ever meet someone and have the same depth of relationship I had with my husband…I can answer unequivocally…yes, yes yes.

This time it was for a season… I feel the Universe must have something fantastic planned for each of us… it was awesome.

Speaking with my special brand of confidence….‘The hand of friendship does not stop at the wrist…it extends all the way to the heart… so from my heart to your heart…and to my circle of friends – your support over these past days has been awesome…thank you! ‘

From My Heart to Your Heart 3

Warm regards Di…and what …you are asking… does this woman do?

I am passionate about mature women having the confidence and personal presentation to support their life choices.

If that is not happening for you…I may be able to help you… with one on one coaching.

Would you like to know more?  Slip over to  http://diriddell.com/confidence-coaching-2/

Or Facebook http://facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Or Pinterest : http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

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I Have Opened My Heart

 

In case you are wondering… or you are holding your breath…wondering what I am up to…for the first time in 11 years I have put myself in a place where I come first.

I am being unashamedly me, warts and all..quirky and all…beauty and all!

 

Be unashamedly you...with confidence

So yes…I have not been active on Facebook, my website or my blog…I have been very quiet. There are times in life when we speak out and times when we are quiet and keep it close to the chest. Keeping it ‘close to the chest’ is how I have played this card.

Does that make me more or less confident? Does that make me chicken? Does that make me vulnerable?  Whatever you think … and we all react differently…I am more confident … not the ‘screaming from the rooftops’ type of confidence but the kind that is quiet and growing in substance.

When I am open it creates a space for others to be open with me

 

Am I chicken for keeping it ‘quiet’? Now that raises the question of does my writing affect anyone other than me? In speaking out on this matter it does affect someone else. Someone whose feelings I care deeply about.

Am I vulnerable? You betcha!!!!!! Is this the first time I have shown my vulnerability? Nooooooooooooooo, it is not. Has that stopped me before? Nooooooooooooo it hasn’t! Does it get easier? Noooooooooooooooo!

I have shared openly since the beginning of the year when I started blogging about issues that affect mature women and about confidence and sensuality. In particular how that affects me and those I know. I will continue to do so.

Now I am in a position after 11 years on my own of having a beautiful man enter my life. It has also had me thinking that 11 years of often intense self help work has served its purpose.

I believe I have made a difference in the lives of many women and more than few men. My openness, showing my vulnerability, my strengths, sharing my highs and lows…has created a space for others to be open, vulnerable, be strong and share weaknesses with me. What a privilege that has been.

Am I stopping what I do? Noooooooooooooooo! Just slowing down while I work out my next move.

the list noooooooo said with confidence

What it has done is raise all the fears I thought I had safely sorted… Am I making the right decision?  What if it does not work out? Eeekk what if it does? How will I be in a relationship after being alone for 11 years? Have I become a tad set in my ways …’never’ I say! Yes….give the brain half a chance with a  negative thought and it will round up every negative experience you ever had plus all the ones you heard and read about in a millisecond. They become run away thoughts very easily and can affect making decisions.

What I can say is I have done some soul searching, we are both open and communicate very well…it is time for me to take a leap of faith…. my heart is open, I am trusting in myself, the man and our future.

 

leap off faith with confidence

My sharing may help you. Maybe you too are deciding the ‘do I’, ‘don’t I’ of a life changing event.

We can sit forever pontificating, thinking, planning…life is to short. None of us know what is round the corner. Losing my daughter earlier this year got me thinking…take life and live it to the fullest…grab it with both hands and just do it! Be unashamedly you.

Soooo here I go! Checking back into confidence…it is rather like a diamond…it has many facets.

Confidence like diamonds many facets

Love to hear from you about how you stepped up, made a  decision and took your leap of faith. When you share your stories…it may make an amazing difference for someone else.

Confidence caring hearts

 

Warm regards Di…and what …you are asking… does this woman do?

I am passionate about mature women having the confidence and personal presentation to support their life choices.

If that is not happening for you…let me help you… with one on one coaching, small group activity or workshops…

Would you like to know more?  Slip over to  http://diriddell.com/confidence-coaching-2/

Or Facebook http://facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Or Pinterest : http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

 

 

 

 

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