Category Di’s Words of Wisdom

Be Careful What You Wish For

 

I asked… and I received… just not in the way I expected.

My beautiful partner Pete and I have just come back from an amazing week in Fiji. It was everything we could have wished for, perfect weather, super friendly people, fabulous resort and we met loads of terrific people.

 

Confidence relationships, fun, relaxation holidays

 

 We commented to another couple in the spa the night before we left that ‘a week was not quite long enough, 10 days would be just right’...

Be careful what you wish for!

 

To paint the picture we arrived late afternoon so the drive from Nadi airport to DenarauIsland was going into the sunset. I just love tropical sunsets. We booked into the resort and our unit looked to the west, the sun was setting over the water. Gorgeous, warm, tropical, romantic were the words that came to mind.

 

Sunset, colours, relaxation, holidays, fun

 

We spent time lounging around the pool, having a coffee at the beachside cafe,  having a crack at water aerobics, into the hot spa, going for walks and simply relaxing. It was meant to be a relaxing time.

The Fijians are so friendly and helpful. The resort staff always had time to stop and have a chat, I admit nothing happens in a hurry, we weren’t in a  hurry so it was perfect. It is all labour intensive there are staff everywhere, my guess almost as many as guests – OK I exaggerated a teensy bit there.

I loved how while we were out and about the locals would come up and offer help with directions and we spent lots of time on the local ‘yellow buses. They simply help each other and tourists also. Smiles some easily to them and the children with huge brown eyes looked at us timidly. Now I think about it I did not hear a Fijian child cry or throw a tanti the week we were there.

The markets were a visual delight and they take great pride in the display of their fruit and vegetables. Paw-paw is one of my favourite fruits and they were displayed stacked on plates. There was one largish one beside a plate and on enquiring found it was $2. The sounded good to me, it got better – the plate + the big one was $2. What a bargain!

 

Fiji markets

 

A boat cruise sounded pretty good so off to SouthSeaIsland we went, it was a magnificent day, beautiful weather, clear blue water and a great BBQ lunch. There always has to a ‘but’ – when it was time to leave a dinghy with platform seats was transferring us from shore out to the larger catamaran. Safety is not a big concern, and it had 3 steps that sat loosely, very loosely in the sand. I had one foot on the step and was mid air with the other foot when a wave came and knocked the boat sideways, I lost my balance cracked my shin on the step and was thrown against the step support and the step edge. Ouch!

Yep it hurt, hurt like hell… I did not even say ‘goodness gracious me’. I was speechless, it knocked the breath out of me. I have come home sporting the most magnificent huge bruise from the back of my knee to high thigh with a huge lump in the middle. That kept me quiet on the way home, Pete knew I was hurt, I was quiet. Ouch is all I can say even now as I think about it.

 

sun, water, tropical islands, holidays, fun

 

It is 35 years since I was in Fiji and longer for Pete so we decided to go down to the CoralCoast to MauiBay. It was another day in paradise. As we walked down to the pier there was a lady and her young son having a picnic under the trees. She asked us where we were from and we stopped to chat, she invited us to join her for lunch.  Another example of their beautiful generosity.

What a great opportuity to create some mini videos I thought…so away we went on a series on confidence on holidays.

Let’s go back now to the night before we were to leave and us saying that 10 days would be lovely a week was just not quite enough.  Next morning we were up at 4am to get out to the airport for our flight. What a shock to find we were not in the system, we had no booking, despite the e-ticket I was carrying. It had been cancelled, long story.

 Be careful what you wish for…

Fact 1 we did not have a ticket. Fact 2 the flight was full. Fact 3 a ticket later that day was $3,000 each. Fact 4 a flight the next day was $500 each.  We agreed to that, however we had no internet access so the supervisor booked it for us on her I-pad, emailed the e-ticket to herself and said she would print it for us. She had our passports in her hand. She was also busy and was constantly being interrupted.

She duly handed us back our passports and the e-ticket, we looked at the date, time and checked it really was an e-ticket. Into my handbag it went all ready for the next day. That organised we now needed accommodation, Pete called the resort and we got a room. Whew! It was time to celebrate, the upside is we get another night and almost 2 days what a bonus!

 Be careful what you wish for…

 Next day I suggested that we go to the airport early, very early just to be sure and organised. Pete is a tad casual and was not super excited at my suggestion but agreed to go. His comment as we walked into the terminal was ‘what are we going to do for hours here?’ We were about to find out.

Up to the counter we went, handed over passports and e-ticket. There was a bit if fiddling going on and she dropped the bombshell. Someone else’s name was on the ticket in place of Pete’s. Mine was OK – whoop that didn’t help!  It turned out that another passenger was being transferred from a  flight that was full and she was dealing with his details as well as ours and wrote the wrong name on the ticket. Simple you might say – just change the name.

WRONG! My goodness you would have thought we were moving the Bank of England. After much finger pointing and phone calls…and time slipping away. I was getting teensy bit anxious. OK a lot anxious.

Then we started talking $$$$$, starting with $180 cancellation fee for the incorrect booking, a new booking at $675, minus the $500, Pete was up for another $355. Eventually we had a ticket, get through customs and immigration with 10mins to spare before boarding.

We made it and arrived home safely. Whew!. There are a few lessons learned here, funnily (yes I can laugh now), I had done some little videos for social media and my website based around confidence and holidays. One of them was about keeping your sense of humour as challenges can and do arise when you travel. Talk about eat your own words.

Yet nothing takes away from our time away together, I am so happy and grateful that we had that wonderful time…and yes even the extra days.

 Next time we go away I will be careful what I wish for… to tell the Universe exactly how I want it!

What challenging travel experiences have you experienced? I would love you tell us your stories.

If you enjoyed and relate to this post please share and comment.

 

 

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9 Tips On Emotional Wellness That Will Change Your Life

 

This week is Mental Health Week. A time of raising awareness of that insidious, hidden away concept that mental un-wellness is somehow a major flaw in our personality.

Why is it that we talk about our medical woes, take medication to help a physical disease and engender masses of sympathy yet when it comes to mental un-wellness we hit a brick wall – dead silence?

Talking about mental issues was not always a popular concept. In fact any hint of mental un-wellness was hidden and not talked about. Feelings of guilt and shame that you could not cope can make you isolate, stop interacting and enable the ‘fear factor’ to run riot.

 

mental wellness, confidence, self worth, self belief

 

Transparency is a word that springs to my mind… transparency does not take away, it adds another dimension.  Today I am showing my transparency.

 

I am sharing because of what I have learned, I remember how frustrated and fearful I was when I could not cope after the death of my husband. I had no idea how to start over. I remember when I started taking action how I berated myself because I was ‘not getting better’ quicker. ‘There must be something wrong with me’ became my catch cry.

I know how it feels to be so down you feel you will never be able to get back up. I know how it feels to make a start, make some progress then feel you have slipped back beyond where you started. I know how it feels when you still ‘don’t get it’.

Sharing my insights may help you or someone you know who is doing it tough emotionally right now.  Am I perfect? NO! Do I always get it right ? NO! Do I still work on it? YES!

It is about progress not perfection.

 

 9 Tips on Emotional Wellness That Will Change Your Life

  1. Know you are not alone
  2. Acknowledge and accept where you are right now
  3. Reach out – avoid isolating
  4. Be kind to yourself in thoughts words and actions
  5. Interact with positive people
  6. Avoid confidence and energy zappers – those who drain your energy
  7. Try different modalities and treatments and decide what is best for you..  
  8. Develop daily practices that are sustainable and workable for you
  9. Do it. Yes you actually have to do it.

 

We are all different in how we think, feel and act. There is no one solution fits all. Only you know what works for you, when you find it embrace it and go for it.. If you need professional help seek it out and accept it.

These tips changed my life – simple, effective, supportive tips . I am pleased that I have taken the actions necessary for emotional well being and happiness. When I am open and transparent it allows others to be open and transparent with me. That does not take away, it adds another dimension.

 

emotional wellness, confidence, self worth, self esteem

 

If you are seeking tips to improve your life or you would like to know more detail on using the tips contact me through the website or PM me on Facebook  http://www.facebook.com/ConfidenceBeyond50, I can help you to see beyond the overwhelm so you can focus on attracting the next best thing into your life with confidence.

 

 

 

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There Is Another Way… After You Lose Someone You Love Dearly!

 

When a life changing event occurs, a moment in time becomes a catalyst. It is then  your choice whether you make a good or not so good choice.  At this time your world is turned upside down… it is difficult to think there is another way…that there is a future.

 

confidence after a challenge, confdient women, anxious, fearful, scared

 

One moment in time happened for me 13 years ago today on September 4th 2002. That afternoon I was sitting in dappled sunlight on the verandah of  a hospital room with a few close friends and family. We all knew why we were there, conversation was light and inconsequential.

There was an ear piercing ‘Dianne come quick’… it shattered that illusion. In 3 steps I was beside the bed and the man who had adored me for 31 years, the man who had been my husband and cheerleader lay lifeless before me. The evening is a blur to me… the next day I was at the bank at opening time to find my credit card had been cancelled (I did not realise it was a secondary account) and the joint accounts frozen. That was just the start. If you have been there you know how I felt.

Going back a few days I had commented to a friend “I don’t know how I will cope without him’.  The wise friend said – “You will Di, life will be different but it can still be great.

I would love to say that I ‘pulled up my socks’ and did it all perfectly and lived happily ever after.

It took many detours and gaining a new and different perspective for me to start the process. And it was a shaky start. I learned that change is a process not an event.

 

change, porcess, anxious, confidence, confidencebeyond50

 

Today I am living a wonderful life. Looking back I wonder who I was then, I scarcely recognise her.  At some stage in our lives we come to a point where we wonder about how we used to think and act and what made us do things.

It is certain that I would never have traveled the self development path I did had Les still been alive.  It has been a journey, a process with challenges from the miniscule to the monumental. And it has been worth it.

The skills I have learned , the book written and self published, the coaching, speaking, and MC have been rewarding. Observing my personal growth has been extraordinary as has the many women I have helped along the way.  It makes my heart sing when I see the confidence rise in women with whom I have worked.

What I can say is that each thing I have done has led me to the next best thing, each time facing and overcoming greater challenges. I continue with the self development and I can’t see it stopping any time soon.

5 Things I have learned about ‘there is another way’

 

    • Change starts with us – I have learned to embrace change and realise worrying is a massive waste of time and energy.
    • I learned to love myself and know that self care is not an indulgence, it is a necessity. It is a powerful healing and growing process.
    • Forgiveness and gratitude – developing these qualities has given me peace and it has opened doors in ways I could never have imagined.
    • I learned that harmful, habitual thinking and behaviour habits can be permanently interrupted and replaced with nourishing and supportive ones.
    • It is Ok and it is a strength to ask for help – it was up to me to act on it.

 

Thank you Les for being such a positive, loving and supportive partner. I matured and became the woman I became with you help. My life is richer as a result of your being a part of it. My love flows to you as I reflect today.  I also realise that that time has passed, it was wonderful. Thirteen years later my life has changed. I have new perspectives, it is different, exciting and great.

 

Love, acceptance, confidence, loss, grief

 

To the women facing challenges today, this too shall pass. There will be another brighter day. There really is ‘another way’.

If you are feeling overwhelmed after a challenge, and this post resonates with you contact me through the website for a chat to see how I can help. From my heart to your heart ladies…. much love and hugs. Di

 

 

 

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Let It Go!

 

Hello beautiful readers…I am starting today with a couple of questions – just to get you thinking.

 

Have you ever hung on for dear life , come hell or high water you were mot going to let go?

Have you ever said ‘hell will freeze over before I let go’

Have you ever spent hours doing something on the computer and ‘bingo’…it’s gone? Then ranted and raved?

 

My guess is you will have answered yes to one to at least one of the questions.

 

Did you know that:

It takes enormous energy to hang in there, fighting every Universal force’

It takes enormous energy proving you were right’

It takes enormous energy being Superwoman’

It takes enormous energy doing a rant.

It makes your ‘self righteous little self’ shudder in shame’

 

 

Whatever has happened.. ask yourself:

  • ‘Will it matter in 5 years?’

  • Will the sun still come up tomorrow?

 

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours working on a  blog post and suddenly I realised it had disappeared. I could not get it back. in the past I would have gone into a flap, overwhelm, bagged myself for the duration and had a thoroughly miserable afternoon. Instead I simply went on wit other things.  In fact I could not even remember what I had written about.

My questions to  me were:

Does it really matter?

Will the sun still come up tomorrow? Yes it will.

 There are times when it is OK for your ducks not to be in a  row… other times you get them lined up and discover they are not your ducks!

 

letting go, confidence, self esteem, fears

 

Often when we are in that place it is fear speaking, trying to prove yourself to yourself or someone else. We hang in rather than let anyone know we could not do or achieve something.

The hiding does more damage than the hanging on. It either eats away at you very loudly right now, or you bury it and it eats away at you quietly. I would like to suggest that you simply let it go, open up, be transparent and laugh at yourself.

Transparency does not take away it adds another dimension. Take a moment to fully absorb the image.

sure of self, letting go, fears, confidnece

Letting go gives you a release, a lightness it adds to your peace of mind, the tenseness leaves your body, you get to relax and may even laugh.  There is beauty in letting go, embracing the gift of grace and allowing your authentic confidence to shine.

If you feel the fear of letting go is holding you back… I invite you to come and personally experience my coaching program. I would love the opportunity to help you ‘let go’ and step up so you can focus on the next best thing in your life.  if so contact me through the website  or email at di@diriddell.com

If you found this helpful then I would be grateful for you to share this with someone that you feel would appreciate them. Cheers Di

 

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Leftie’s Are Best… It Takes Confidence To Say that!

 

Yes I am a proud left hander, yes I have suffered and yes I have survived and prospered with my sense of humour intact in a right handed world.

Survive you say…would you believe over 2,500 left handed people are killed every year using equipment made for right- handed people.

There is no denying it left-hander’s are out there. However despite being 10% of the population society forgets us. We live in a right-handed world  it is right-handed utensils, cooking and cutting implements that are ALL for the right-handed…

 

confidence, fear, anxious, left handedness, lack confidnece

 

Check this TED-Ed presentation http://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-are-some-people-left-handed-daniel-m-abrams

There are however a few little known facts in our favour.

  1. We hear speeches differently – research shows people using their left hands when listening hear rapidly changing sounds and intonations.
  2. Left-handed Neanderthals were also in the minority. How did they know? The wear and tear on your teeth is different to right-handed folk. By locating the wear and tear on those prehistoric chompers it can be determined if they used their left or right hand.
  3. We are more inclined to shine in the creative arts.
  4. We vote for left -hander’s – a high percentage of recent US President’s were left-handed and it is thought a left-handed politician has an advantage in a televised debate. As a whole we associate the right-handed gestures as ‘good;’ and the left as ‘bad’. On TV it is displayed as a mirror image.
  5. Lefties have an advantage in sport that involve two opponents facing each other such as tennis and boxing.
  6. The sight of us using a cutting or carving knife drives right-handed people crazy…. they can’t wait to hop in and help out.
  7. Lefties tend to like a cold drink on a hot day
  8. The 13th of August is International left- hander’s Day. First launched in 1992 the UK-based Left-Hander’s Club to increase awareness about the left-handed lifestyle.
  9. Lefties are not going anywhere… will we fade away? Noooooooooooo we have been in the minority and being less common we have the surprise effect. Get used to us!

I have even become a member of the left hander’s club…

 

left handers, confidence and self esteem

 

And lastly Di’s reason… it is not good news for anyone sitting on my left at dinner… I tend to help them with their wine intake by picking up the glass on my left. … I am generous like that.  And this glass must be mine it has ice in it!

A touch of delicious wickednessDid you know we are all born left-handed? You turn right-handed when you make your first mistake.

OK I will be good now……and share a few of my left-handed life experiences that…well perhaps I could say they were ‘character building’ and ‘provided opportunities for self growth’.

I felt the breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler hit,  it swished through the air before it came crashing down on my knuckles….as my  5-year-old eyes watered and my hand throbbed …I thought what was my crime? Picking up the pencil in my left hand. I did not even realise it was my left hand because I got confused between my left and right hands. It was simply the hand I used to colour in and draw.

As I sat there tears rolling down my cheeks I wondered why, why, why was it so wrong to pick up a pencil in ‘that’ hand. I had no confidence or self esteem in those days

Today I ask myself did that set the scene for my  unusual handwriting? I often hear the comment…’ It looks neat but I can’t read it.’

Then I saw this image … and what  a beauty! Written just for me I think.

 I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font.

hand writing, confidence, self esteem , left handedness

School experiences… Did this happen to you?  It happened to me and many others who started school in the 1950′s. The excitement of going to school waned quickly as my knuckles suffered on a daily basis.

This ‘training’ apparently was for ‘my own good’  Miss Lowe, the googly-eyed, enormous  frightening teacher. She would tower over me BELLOW. She delighted in pointing out my ‘crime’ to the rest of the class.

That pain extended beyond the classroom. Further torment came during the maypole dance. Each of us round a pole with a coloured streamer and the idea was steps to the left and steps to the right in sequence…I did not remember the sequence, nor which foot to put forward…gee I wonder why????

You can guess what I am going to say…left, left, right and there I would be with the wrong foot forward going in the wrong direction.  Again I felt the  breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler  as it swished through the air before it came crashing down across the back of my legs.

Imagine doing that to a child today? I know we really can’t place today’s values on yesterdays actions…but that was a tough gig for a kid.

‘Straighten up your page Dianna’ would be the next bellow to fly across the room. Yes like many left handers…I turn the page at an angle to write. So can you imagine there I sat with the book straight, pencil in my right hand….how did I know which was right? By this time my stinging knuckles helped give me a clue.

To say it was pure hell….is an understatement. To say I did not care would be to tell a ‘porkie’ of massive proportions! Thank goodness it no longer standard practice…

Next time someone has a ‘point of view’ about your handwriting…you may like to borrow the phrase I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font. And just keep writing…

 

writing. left hand, confidence, self esteem, self belief

If you are a left- hander and of a certain age (how is that for delicate)…I would love to hear your experiences of learning to write and coping in a right-handed world.

Warm regards and I really do love my right-handed friends…Di…

 

You may like to check on me through other channels…

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Pinterest:   http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

 

 

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Procrastination…I Am Doing It With Confidence Today

 

Have you ever had one of those day when there are many things that need to be done…and you find a gazillion excuses not to do it?

 

procrastination lack confidence lack energy

 

I read this definition of an excuse – it is ‘the skin of a reason stuffed with a ‘porkie” Well I freely admit today I have been busy ‘stuffing’ and I have told myself all kinds of ‘porkies’ in justification.

Yes you might have read all this before…think of it as a gentle reminder. We need to see things more than once before we take notice.

 

Confidence procrastination Seeing things more than once

 

The problem is we become so good at excuses… we may even start to believe them.

 

Confidenct about being not confident lack motivation

 

EXCUSE No 1 – I will do it later

Worst excuse ever that gives me a perfect excuse to make a cuppa and then to escape into a book and I did for a couple of hours.

EXCUSE No 2 –  I will just spend an hour on images.

And time laughed and laughed and laughed…I have spent about 5 hours playing in images today yet I have not done anything productive with them.

EXCUSE No 3 – It’s hot

Yes it is – we live in Queensland and I am used to it. I can’t even explain that.

EXCUSE No 4 – I am going away tomorrow its too late to start now.

I could have achieved a lot today had I had a plan. Tomorrow morning I know I will be running round like a hairy goat wishing I had been more productive today.

EXCUSE No 5 – I don’t have everything I need yet.

How many times do we say that we can’t start until all is perfect? We can actually start from where we are now and just imagine how much better you will be when you are finished.

I had my excuses lined up, all my ducks were in a row there.. And I lived up to them with every shred of confidence I possess. When in fact  procrastination zaps your energy and your confidence leaving you feeling  unmotivated and displeased with your day.

 

Let’s get positive as I share my tips…

 

Confidence over procrastination

 

How do I overcome this lethargy, procrastination and lack of oomph

  • Write a list of what needs to be done today and mark them off. Starting with the most difficult. I work best if my list is written the night before. if it is there when I come to the computer I simply start and achieve a lot.
  • I love to work with music in the background that sets the scene and I work away happily
  • Do one thing at a time and complete it. How easily we can flit from project to project. Develop your strategy for keeping you focused.
  • Put a time on an activity. I can play and create in images for hours and hours – like a child with colouring in. Try setting an alarm for an hour. I find it best if I use that a as a reward for myself.
  • Turn off social media and email alerts. Oohh how tempting it is to just pop over and see who that was. OOhhhh you say, how wonderful I will just read that and 20 mins later you are still there. .
  • When its hot stay well hydrated and take frequent short breaks.
  • Keep up the positive self talk – Noooo I don’t mean the ‘Its OK you don’t need to do it positive’.. I mean refrain from the ‘beating yourself up kind of positive’. Actively encouragement yourself.
  • Reward yourself when a job is complete and smile as you mark it off your list.

Finally gather your excuses, embrace them then set them free. Pick up your plan (it may be very different to mine) and go for it. There is nothing like action and positivity to drive procrastination out the door.

I would love to hear how you cope on your days of procrastination.

Cheers and happy overcoming procrastination… Di 

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Domestic Violence The Elephant In The Room

 

Are You Safe? Are You Immune? Are You Aware?

  • Domestic violence is that ‘silent thing’ that happens to other people –  right?
  • It is nothing to do with us – right?
  • Let’s pretend it didn’t happen – right?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo! It is the silent stalker (it is there watching and waiting) or it is the elephant in the room (we know it is there but no one is talking about it)?

 

domestic violence, confidnece, self esteem, anxiety

 

 

It is gratifying that the Australian of the Year for 2015 was awarded to Rosie Batty. This amazing woman rose above her personal tragedy and the great loss of her 11-year-old-son, Luke, who was murdered by his father on a cricket oval in February last year.

Rosie found her voice as a result of going through her experiences.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-01-25/rosie-batty-named-australian-of-the-year-2015/6045290

There are enormous amounts of $$$$$ spent on education. mass media and yet this is not an uncommon story. .. domestic violence is on the increase not decrease.

A few facts

 

 Fear, lack of confidence, domestic violence, anxiety scared

 

  • Prevention starts with awareness and taking action.
  • Domestic violence happens – on your doorstep, your neighbourhood, your community, your State and your Country.
  • It covers all socio economic groups – it is not limited to the lower income groups.
  • It is secrecy and fear that allow it to flourish. DV is all always about power.
  • One in three girls are sexually abused – 90% do not report the above.
  • Women killed by violence in Australia in 2014 – 81.

Why am I passionate on the topic – I am a survivor of domestic violence as was my Mum. In the 40′s and 50′s my Mum had no voice, she had no where to go and the law sent abused women home to their husbands. Mum had no voice.

For me in the 60′s, I chose silence as guilt, shame and fear overwhelmed me following a teenage pack rape. My voice was silenced. I buried it all and got on with life. Only to find it bubbled up later in life when I was going through huge stress.

Now it is 2015…. there are endless programs, support groups and educational material available. The law listens, women today have a voice. Why, why, why is it that this senseless behaviour perpetrated and thriving  throughout in our society?

There are endless scenarios of the ‘why’s’ and ‘where-fore’s’ of why it happens, why women stay, why women go. We are going round in circles and it is continuing.

Obviously the educational process is not working, the media campaigns are not working, those caught in the DV cycle are not hearing.

 What can we do?

 

Confidence, domestic violence

 

There is no simple answer… here are a  couple of suggestions for a starting point that anyone can take.

  •  Realise we need to see it over and over… more than once. See and hear what is happening…
  • Public awareness – - high profile awards help to bring the matter to our attention. Support organisations that support those affected by DV e.g. Bravehearts.
  • Speaking out where you can – think about where your voice could make the difference. Take some action, any action no matter how small. You have a voice.
  • Being there for someone affected by DV – listening and being there, talking, allowing them to talk, Maybe helping them create an exit plan. Support them as they get professional help.
  • Social media – no holes barred here. Pop it up and it is out there.. the good bad and the ugly. And news spreads like wild fire.

In life we all need to take personal responsibility for our thoughts, our actions and our lives. All the education and support in the world  won’t help without action by those affected.

We live in a wonderful country, we have so much to give and we have so much to live for.

I would love you all to be safe, be aware and be compassionate AND address that elephant in the room.

Confidence, standing together, facing fears

It is wonderful to hear your comments especially on a serious issue that affects so many in out society. What are your thoughts?

#domesticviolence #violenceagainstwomen

 

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5 Confidence Tips from My Lips

 

Don’t we all love tips and hints… something to add to our day, something to make us smile or that extra something that we can add to our ”amazing women’s life kit’. Yes you are already an amazing and multi-talented woman.

Often what we read is a reminder.. seeing it again re-enforces, reminds and re-programs us to move forward. It supports, grows and enhances our confidence. 

OK let’s go!

 

Confidence, tips, self esteem, confident women

 

 

1. HAVING A BAD DAY…THIS TOO SHALL PASS

 It is a fact of life that when something goes wrong then several things go wrong – next thing we find ourselves catapulting down the rabbit hole. yes we are likely drawing that very thing we say we don’t want by our thoughts words and actions.

Taking a different perspective, the good news is this too shall pass. This also stand true for fabulous days…this too shall pass.

                                                ACTION TIP - Try aiming for a balance.

 2. IT”S OK IF YOUR DUCKS ARE NOT ALL IN A ROW 

Have you ever organised what you thought was everything to the ‘enth degree’ , then found the ONE minuscule thing you didn’t consider happened?

The unexpected will pop up – the ‘thing’ and the timing and the unforeseen. That is life.. avoid slipping into the ‘I can’t do anything right’ mode.

 ACTION TIP. Stop, breathe, re-assess and move forward.

 3.  SOMETIMES WE NEED TO SEE THINGS MORE THAN ONCE 

When we are learning new things it is easy to say ‘I am a slow learner’ (I believe those words have escaped my lips once or twice).

Repeating what you have learned is an excellent way to re-enforce the lesson. Or for you it may be taking notes to refer to if you don’t get to put what you learned into practice for a while.

It is OK to see, hear and do things more than once before they become a habit. Yes doing the same thing over and over makes it a habit.

ACTION TIP – Make it OK for you to see and hear things as many times as you need to.

 4. YOU CAN LAUGH EVEN AMONGST CHAOS 

One of the first things that disappears when life’s challenges overwhelm us is our ability to have fun and laugh.  Then when we do find ourselves having a chuckle we go into the ‘blame’ and ‘guilt’, ‘how could I laugh when my life is falling apart.

Even in the worst of circumstances there is always something  that has the potential to make you smile, feel gratitude and enjoy a touch of nature.

 ACTION TIP –  Create that smile for a friend going through a challenge…it is a great starting point in changing your perspective in life.

 5. BE AUTHENTICALLY YOU 

 The old saying goes “Be you everyone else is taken’. So many try to be someone they are not, try to bluff it out by being someone different. Each of us is unique. No one does what you do in your way… don’t be afraid to stand out.

 ACTION TIP – Ask your self what makes you authentic.. embrace it, develop it and do more of it…

 

What prompted me to write this blog post? I am currently doing a 21 Day ‘visual challenge’ as in creating an image a day. All 5 points have been relevant in my life this week… 

 

Now…  give yourself a huge hug and ask yourself a wonderful supportive open question for example…

  •   What else is possible?
  • Who am I today and what grand and glorious adventures will I have?
  • What is one small thing I can do today to enhance my life?

I hope these tips have given you a point to ponder… if you are feeling overwhelmed contact me through my website I’ll take away your overwhelm   so you can focus on attracting the next best thing into your life.

 

 

 

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Speaking up and speaking out…just for you!

 

Are you a woman who wants to stand up with confidence and share your message?  Is something holding you back?

confident women, oveecoming nerves, scared to speak out

I have been there… sweaty palms, what of they think I am silly, dry mouth, nervous twitters in the tummy. you stand then forget what you meant to say…

I wanted to do it…it wasn’t my fault. But it was what I was manifesting and attracting into my life.

Until I learned the secrets of how to speak with confidence

Until I evolved

Until I got a plan

Until I unashamedly claimed my worth and created  a way to speaking confidently in my feminine energy.

 

confidence self worth self belief

If this sounds like you…and part of your plan for 2015 is learning to speak with confidence this program gives you insights and tips on ‘how to.

Commencing 22nd January contact  Di at http://diriddell.com/speakers-first-workshop/ ‎ or di@diriddell.com on 0409 638 248.

 

 

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Reflecting on 2014…and it was always than I thought!

 

TRefelcting confidence, sel esteem, confidence confident women

 

It is that time of the year when you think about things like…

  • Where did the year go?
  • What did I achieve?
  • What could I have done better?

And what better way for me to do that than to make a cuppa and take a stroll  through my diary and see exactly what happened. If you are anything like me you think you know, you are sure you know…then you discover there are a lot of things you had forgotten about.

Did you find your reflections static like the pond?

Confidence self esteem confident women womenbeyond50

Or were they fast moving…like a river?

Confidence self esteem life style

 

I kept thinking I had not done much in the early part of the year – not correct.

I kept thinking little had been achieved…not correct.

I kept thinking I could have fitted more in…not correct.

I had re-written what I thought I had not done… please don’t let anyone else (including your mind) write your story..

 

confidence self esteem self worth self belief confident women

 

Since childhood and living with a violent alcoholic father doing, doing and doing, being task orientated and doing things before being asked was my life. I went nursing and it was more of the same. I took on four teens when I married at the ripe age of 24 and  I didn’t have time to think I just did it. And so life progressed.

It took me years to relax in any shape or form.  Sitting still or stopping was a sign of slackness or being lazy. Even on holidays it was go, go, go. I must have driven my husband mad, however he graciously went along with me. Ok sometimes he grumbled but he did it anyway.

Yesterday… I had coffee with my beautiful girlfriend Denise and we were talking about relationships, another form of reflecting. I was saying I did not want someone to ‘be responsible’ for me… It was almost like a shield I was holding up.  She said ‘Di you have been responsible for yourself and making your own decisions since you were 15′ (yep that coincides with the teenage rape).  You don’t need anyone to be responsible for you.

I spent a large slice of my life thinking I was a ‘whimp’. It has only been in these latter years that I have reflected not just on a year but on a lifetime and realised what strength, what resilience and yes even confidence I had. There are times when the positives just simple get buried in everyday life. The challenges ranging from the miniscule to the monumental. I simply did what needed to be done.

Ask yourself…Who do you see when you look in the mirror

confidence reality self esteem self worth confident women confidence beyond 50

 

Now I find I am still asking those questions…just in case I have slipped up… and have had the temerity to do less. True I am not as active as I was at 25, and now at 60 + postage and handling…I still do it, it just takes me a little longer.

So as I reflect back on my year I am pleasantly surprised and pleased with what I did achieve and  that has given me the motivation to spring into 2015.

confidence self worth self belief confident women confidencebeyond50

I look back and see me speaking, being MC, facilitating small workshops, networking , being involved in self development activities, writing and yes blogging. It has been such fun learning more about creating images and using power point effectively. On a personal level there has been travelling, reading and meeting a lovely man, being Grannie Di and even making self care a priority.

It has been an amazing year littered with highs and a few lows, lots of laughs, friendships renewed and started. The odd challenge kept me on my toes and I can still laugh, oohh how a sense of humour helps. Maybe I had the odd wine along the way… and I may or may not have a tiny tattoo in an unobtrusive place!

I am asking me as I reflect…Am I a real woman?

confident self esteem self worth self belief confidencebeyond50

 

As you read maybe you are reflecting on your year. Maybe you will find you to have achieved far more than you thought.  I would love to hear how your year went. Please do comment and share.

What are my plans? January will see me start on another round of ‘Speaker First Workshops’…if  you are nervous about speaking out, or full of ideas but unable to express them – then this may be just for you… giving you a kick start to the new year.

confidence se;f belief self esteem confidencebeyond50

 

Cheers Di xx

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