Category Di’s Words of Wisdom

It Is Just NOT That Important

 

I was having coffee with a girlfriend recently we were talking and laughing about how we get upset over things that we think at the time are  important. Have you got things now that you look back on and think…why did I think that was important?

We giggled, notice how good you feel when you stop and laugh, over instances in our lives and giggled even more over experiences we have shared over the years, things that make me cringe today.

 

being you, confidence, self esteem

So, I decided to compile a little list (I am good at lists) of mine. You may even see yourself in here.

I used to think it was important to:

  • Look fabulous – for years I was worried over having small breasts, it completely escaped my notice that I had other great assets.
  • That I might ‘look fat in that’ and I don’t look good in jeans’– heavens I am tall and slim and can wear almost anything.
  • Keep busy every hour of every day. I was the original ‘hyperactive’. That is I stopped I was lazy, I would never get anything done. I am not and I did most of the time – who cared? Only me!
  • Be everything to everyone – what a shock it became when I my life fell apart from the death of my husband – to my shock and horror the world worked just fine without me.
  • Press the button to cross the road 10 times – I thought it would work faster.
  • Have the toothpaste tube looking neat. He squeezed and screwed the toothpaste tube all crooked. Note to self – woman get a life!
  • Have the loo roll on the right way – it takes 2 secs to change it.
  • Have the opening of the pillow case facing away from the door – OK that is a relic habit from nursing days. My son used to drive me to distraction leaving his facing the door, he only did it to get a reaction.
  • Wear high heels – I have been wearing them since I was a teen and I am about to hit six score and ten… now I need to wear flatties most of the time. A friend commented ‘be grateful you have feet to put in them’.
  • ‘Do’ technology – when my husband passed away 15 years ago I was virtually computer illiterate. For year’s I beat myself up over not being able to do things, not able to fix it, so much blood, sweat and tears expended. A friend said to me ‘could you fix the computer when Les alive?’ When I answered no, they said well why does the simple act of him leaving this earthly plane make you think you can suddenly do it all. Light bulb moment!

Now this list is far from complete, maybe you have found yourself doing some of these or you probably have your own list.

I would like to ask you ‘how much time and energy have you spent over the years indulging in your little foibles’? Imagine how you could have used that time differently?

I have found that life has a way of getting you to realise either with a gentle tap or a thundering crash what is important.

What is important to you? Please do share your thoughts


 

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Di’s Evolving

 

A question popped up in another group this morning ‘How have you evolved?’

 

Confidence, self esteem, beoming a better person, how have you evolved

 

It got me thinking of my journey, what I used to think and how I think today.

Some of the ways I have evolved through confidence, resilience and working on me are:

 I lacked confidence, now my quiet inner confidence is my driving force.

 I was scared witless of speaking in public – today I love and enjoy it

 I had an over developed sense of responsibility, I thought I had to ‘fix’ everything and everybody – today I know I am responsible for me

 I was a worrier, there were times when I worried if there was nothing to worry about. Today I am a work in progress, today I face life, change what I can and mostly accept what I can’t.

 I was a control freak, I thought I knew what was best for all. Today I love taking care of me and living my life being the best version of me.

 I worried about my appearance, I worried endlessly because I had small breasts, I thought if I didn’t have a mouth you wouldn’t know the front from the back of me – today I love and appreciate my body, my stature and my gracious aging.

 I thought I was not good enough, today I know I am definitely enough.

 I took things personally. today as a work in progress I know I am not responsible for how others see and behave towards me, it is how I react that matters. As the saying goes what other people think of me is none of my business.

 I was ashamed of my past now I fully accept what happened. I have taken years, taken the time to go within and work on myself. Writing and journalling evolved into self publishing that story. I lived and breathed it, spoke about it and run programs about it. It was the catalyst for what I do today.

 I lost my sense of self after years of being the carer and carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders and finding myself alone and starting over. I found a strong, warmer more compassionate woman, I like her.

 I thought I could not cope alone, in fact I have coped with my new life exceedingly well. A friend told me after Les passed away that life could still be great, wonderful and in fact even better than before. I have proven that to be true.

I judged myself to the eenth degree, today I love, honour, forgive and support myself.

 I used to be hyperactive, I now direct my time and energy more wisely and appreciate the vast stores of energy that have sustained and supported me through my life.

 I didn’t think I had a leadership bone in my body, my 40 years in Toastmasters proved differently and shown my level of competence in communication and leadership.es when I look back I wonder who that woman was, what she was thinking – I scarcely recognise her. It is not what happens to me but how react and who I become because of it. I love and appreciate the woman I am today as I keep in mind I am being the best version of me I can be.

 

Confidence, seeing with new lens, self esteem

 

 This list may inspire you to write yours. I invite you to stop and consider how have you evolved? How does your list look? I would love to hear from you, reach out to me here or at di@diriddell.com

 

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Putting Things In Perspective

 

I know, I know you always have things in perspective, it is the other one who doesn’t. Right?

Many of us can can delude ourselves for just so long before the cracks begin to appear. It is often  our nearest and dearest who gets to point it out.

My nemisis for years after I was living alone was THE COMPUTER. It drove me crazy and my skills at that time were zilch so that should come as any surprise. It was a perfect example of letting something blow out of proportion – and I had perfected the art! The blood, sweat and tears I shed, the energy I wasted and having little ‘tanti’s’ did not help. Staring  till I became almost cross eyed did not help either.

 

computer lieracy, computer illiterate, lack confidence

 

 

Over time I improved and thought I had a reasonable handle on what I needed to do. Ahha! If there is one thing  you should never tell your computer, it is that you are doing pretty good, don’t even whisper it…it can hear you! That is when ‘my perspective’ or lack of it got in the way. Take a few moments to watch and see…

 

 

If you find yourself in doing someting similar in an area of your life (it may not be the computer for you), take a moment to stop, step back and breathe. Finding the lighter side and having a laugh relieves and stress and can even give you a dose of reality.

I hope this content caused you to smile, maybe squirm because you know you do it to. I hope it is helpful, I love sharing stories that demonstrate that we can be our own worst enemy. I would love to hear your experiences and invite you to reach out to me by leaving a comment or drop me a line at di@diriddell.com.

Till next time cheerio! Di

 

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What changed my way of thinking?

 

One incredible moment in time became the catalyst for my new life. I realised a woman’s total package goes way beyond anything I had ever dreamt. Beyond the physical, it stretches to embrace the emotional, spiritual and shadow sides.

confidence, self esteem, spiritual, emotional

 

If I have learned one thing from my quietly confident self, it is to follow my heart. If something does not feel right then it probably isn’t and an avalanche of emotions can leave you wanting to hide, to run, to seek safety when in fact the learning’s are within you waiting to be released – yet you are blind to it at  times of intense challenge.

There I was sitting with friends in the dappled sunlight on the verandah of a hospital room. It was September 4th 2002. The conversation flittered from subject to subject. We all knew why we were there.  The warm and fuzzy I was getting from their presence was shattered by an earth shattering scream of ‘Dianne -come quick’.

 Three paces took me to my husband’s bedside and 3 minutes later he was gone. Three things hit me – I was alone, I was scared and I did not want to accept it. The love of my life, the man who showed me unconditional love and the man who had adored me for 31 years lay lifeless before me.

Little did I know that this was to be a pivotal experience that would lead to a changed outlook on my life. That it would help me to release the shackles of my past and allow me to make a difference in the lives of other women.

How I would love to say, I picked up, pushed on and positively shone from my every pore. No, no, no! It was however time, time for me to be catapulted into the life of a widow. How that term grated on me as I groped and clawed my way forward. Today, looking back I scarcely recognise that woman.

 

confidence, fears, low confidence, low self esteem

 

My coping mechanism was to work harder, faster and longer  than I ever had before. I was totally involved in anything and everything. I cleaned and fussed and pushed, pushed and pushed harder. I have never liked eating alone – so I stopped eating. It was not a conscious decision to lose weight it just seemed natural to my confused brain.

12 kgs fell from an already tall, slim frame. One morning I just could not do anything. My body had come to a screaming halt and I knew I needed help. The flurry began to Dr’s, psychologists and my self help journey began and gradually gained momentum.

It was a huge challenge for me to take that first step. Dealing with my grief sent me back to face significant early childhood challenges. In brief I had a violent alcoholic father who told me I was stupid, useless and worthless. Mental abuse was the order of the day, physical violence was directed at my mother with the implication that I was next. I spent a lonely, frightened and unhappy childhood. As a young teenager I had absolutely no self confidence, no self esteem and no self belief. At the age of 15 I went looking for love and rape found me – pack rape.  A pregnancy and an adoption resulted. The welfare workers in the 1960′s were controlling, overbearing and lacked compassion. Their words rang in my ears – ‘you are a disgrace to yourself, your family, Nambour, Queensland, Australia, the Universe and everything in between. No decent man will ever want you – go nursing and get out of society’s way’.

So I did, I became officious and efficient. Every TV show you ever saw with a bitch Matron, I was it, that was my persona.  Life was tough, discipline was tougher and it was there that I developed the resilience and tenacity that would serve me well throughout my life.  I met and married a man with 4 children ages 10-16 and I was 24. We added our own son to the mix, life was full, busy, challenging and we loved it.  I was safe,  loved and cherished.

 Then suddenly, life as I knew it was gone.

 

 5 things that supported me through my years of change were:

  1. Acknowledging and accepting that I was responsible for my own life and what happens to me. This was not always easy. We are meant to enjoy life and be filled with health, vitality and confidence.
  2. Developing and honing my confidence and my resilience by continually embracing the changes in my new life. To seek joy, happiness and enjoy all the little things that make me smile. It is possible to have moments of enjoyment even in the midst of chaos.
  3. Journaling daily, it constantly re-programs my mind for what I want to bring into my life. It is from that place that I attract and receive. That has now extended to blogging for mature women.
  4. Learning and practicing techniques and processes that I use to this day help me to continue to grow as a person.
  5. Developing the art of forgiveness and gratitude. Part of my journey was writing and self publishing my story, called ‘Beyond Abuse’. In order to be able to write that book I needed to come to a point of forgiveness and show gratitude to Dad and the rapists. I could never have written it otherwise. That message has flowed through then, now and into my future. Forgiveness is not a destination it is a process, it does not happen in a heartbeat. Learning to be patient with my process was a learning curve.

As a result I have become richer in life experience, calmer and more compassionate. Today I chose to work with mature women who have been through life changing challenges. I believe that when we face significant  life stressors we need a hand just like I did. A phrase that I have found useful ‘A helping hand does not stop at the wrist it extends to the heart’.

 

love, gratitude, forgiveness, conmfidence, compassion

If you or someone you know has had a similar experience and is starting over I would love to hear from you. You can reach out to me here in a comment or at di@diriddell.com. I offer one on one coaching and also a 21 day online Confidence Challenge.

 

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Be Careful What You Wish For

 

I asked… and I received… just not in the way I expected.

My beautiful partner Pete and I have just come back from an amazing week in Fiji. It was everything we could have wished for, perfect weather, super friendly people, fabulous resort and we met loads of terrific people.

 

Confidence relationships, fun, relaxation holidays

 

 We commented to another couple in the spa the night before we left that ‘a week was not quite long enough, 10 days would be just right’...

Be careful what you wish for!

 

To paint the picture we arrived late afternoon so the drive from Nadi airport to DenarauIsland was going into the sunset. I just love tropical sunsets. We booked into the resort and our unit looked to the west, the sun was setting over the water. Gorgeous, warm, tropical, romantic were the words that came to mind.

 

Sunset, colours, relaxation, holidays, fun

 

We spent time lounging around the pool, having a coffee at the beachside cafe,  having a crack at water aerobics, into the hot spa, going for walks and simply relaxing. It was meant to be a relaxing time.

The Fijians are so friendly and helpful. The resort staff always had time to stop and have a chat, I admit nothing happens in a hurry, we weren’t in a  hurry so it was perfect. It is all labour intensive there are staff everywhere, my guess almost as many as guests – OK I exaggerated a teensy bit there.

I loved how while we were out and about the locals would come up and offer help with directions and we spent lots of time on the local ‘yellow buses. They simply help each other and tourists also. Smiles some easily to them and the children with huge brown eyes looked at us timidly. Now I think about it I did not hear a Fijian child cry or throw a tanti the week we were there.

The markets were a visual delight and they take great pride in the display of their fruit and vegetables. Paw-paw is one of my favourite fruits and they were displayed stacked on plates. There was one largish one beside a plate and on enquiring found it was $2. The sounded good to me, it got better – the plate + the big one was $2. What a bargain!

 

Fiji markets

 

A boat cruise sounded pretty good so off to SouthSeaIsland we went, it was a magnificent day, beautiful weather, clear blue water and a great BBQ lunch. There always has to a ‘but’ – when it was time to leave a dinghy with platform seats was transferring us from shore out to the larger catamaran. Safety is not a big concern, and it had 3 steps that sat loosely, very loosely in the sand. I had one foot on the step and was mid air with the other foot when a wave came and knocked the boat sideways, I lost my balance cracked my shin on the step and was thrown against the step support and the step edge. Ouch!

Yep it hurt, hurt like hell… I did not even say ‘goodness gracious me’. I was speechless, it knocked the breath out of me. I have come home sporting the most magnificent huge bruise from the back of my knee to high thigh with a huge lump in the middle. That kept me quiet on the way home, Pete knew I was hurt, I was quiet. Ouch is all I can say even now as I think about it.

 

sun, water, tropical islands, holidays, fun

 

It is 35 years since I was in Fiji and longer for Pete so we decided to go down to the CoralCoast to MauiBay. It was another day in paradise. As we walked down to the pier there was a lady and her young son having a picnic under the trees. She asked us where we were from and we stopped to chat, she invited us to join her for lunch.  Another example of their beautiful generosity.

What a great opportuity to create some mini videos I thought…so away we went on a series on confidence on holidays.

Let’s go back now to the night before we were to leave and us saying that 10 days would be lovely a week was just not quite enough.  Next morning we were up at 4am to get out to the airport for our flight. What a shock to find we were not in the system, we had no booking, despite the e-ticket I was carrying. It had been cancelled, long story.

 Be careful what you wish for…

Fact 1 we did not have a ticket. Fact 2 the flight was full. Fact 3 a ticket later that day was $3,000 each. Fact 4 a flight the next day was $500 each.  We agreed to that, however we had no internet access so the supervisor booked it for us on her I-pad, emailed the e-ticket to herself and said she would print it for us. She had our passports in her hand. She was also busy and was constantly being interrupted.

She duly handed us back our passports and the e-ticket, we looked at the date, time and checked it really was an e-ticket. Into my handbag it went all ready for the next day. That organised we now needed accommodation, Pete called the resort and we got a room. Whew! It was time to celebrate, the upside is we get another night and almost 2 days what a bonus!

 Be careful what you wish for…

 Next day I suggested that we go to the airport early, very early just to be sure and organised. Pete is a tad casual and was not super excited at my suggestion but agreed to go. His comment as we walked into the terminal was ‘what are we going to do for hours here?’ We were about to find out.

Up to the counter we went, handed over passports and e-ticket. There was a bit if fiddling going on and she dropped the bombshell. Someone else’s name was on the ticket in place of Pete’s. Mine was OK – whoop that didn’t help!  It turned out that another passenger was being transferred from a  flight that was full and she was dealing with his details as well as ours and wrote the wrong name on the ticket. Simple you might say – just change the name.

WRONG! My goodness you would have thought we were moving the Bank of England. After much finger pointing and phone calls…and time slipping away. I was getting teensy bit anxious. OK a lot anxious.

Then we started talking $$$$$, starting with $180 cancellation fee for the incorrect booking, a new booking at $675, minus the $500, Pete was up for another $355. Eventually we had a ticket, get through customs and immigration with 10mins to spare before boarding.

We made it and arrived home safely. Whew!. There are a few lessons learned here, funnily (yes I can laugh now), I had done some little videos for social media and my website based around confidence and holidays. One of them was about keeping your sense of humour as challenges can and do arise when you travel. Talk about eat your own words.

Yet nothing takes away from our time away together, I am so happy and grateful that we had that wonderful time…and yes even the extra days.

 Next time we go away I will be careful what I wish for… to tell the Universe exactly how I want it!

What challenging travel experiences have you experienced? I would love you tell us your stories.

If you enjoyed and relate to this post please share and comment.

 

 

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9 Tips On Emotional Wellness That Will Change Your Life

 

This week is Mental Health Week. A time of raising awareness of that insidious, hidden away concept that mental un-wellness is somehow a major flaw in our personality.

Why is it that we talk about our medical woes, take medication to help a physical disease and engender masses of sympathy yet when it comes to mental un-wellness we hit a brick wall – dead silence?

Talking about mental issues was not always a popular concept. In fact any hint of mental un-wellness was hidden and not talked about. Feelings of guilt and shame that you could not cope can make you isolate, stop interacting and enable the ‘fear factor’ to run riot.

 

mental wellness, confidence, self worth, self belief

 

Transparency is a word that springs to my mind… transparency does not take away, it adds another dimension.  Today I am showing my transparency.

 

I am sharing because of what I have learned, I remember how frustrated and fearful I was when I could not cope after the death of my husband. I had no idea how to start over. I remember when I started taking action how I berated myself because I was ‘not getting better’ quicker. ‘There must be something wrong with me’ became my catch cry.

I know how it feels to be so down you feel you will never be able to get back up. I know how it feels to make a start, make some progress then feel you have slipped back beyond where you started. I know how it feels when you still ‘don’t get it’.

Sharing my insights may help you or someone you know who is doing it tough emotionally right now.  Am I perfect? NO! Do I always get it right ? NO! Do I still work on it? YES!

It is about progress not perfection.

 

 9 Tips on Emotional Wellness That Will Change Your Life

  1. Know you are not alone
  2. Acknowledge and accept where you are right now
  3. Reach out – avoid isolating
  4. Be kind to yourself in thoughts words and actions
  5. Interact with positive people
  6. Avoid confidence and energy zappers – those who drain your energy
  7. Try different modalities and treatments and decide what is best for you..  
  8. Develop daily practices that are sustainable and workable for you
  9. Do it. Yes you actually have to do it.

 

We are all different in how we think, feel and act. There is no one solution fits all. Only you know what works for you, when you find it embrace it and go for it.. If you need professional help seek it out and accept it.

These tips changed my life – simple, effective, supportive tips . I am pleased that I have taken the actions necessary for emotional well being and happiness. When I am open and transparent it allows others to be open and transparent with me. That does not take away, it adds another dimension.

 

emotional wellness, confidence, self worth, self esteem

 

If you are seeking tips to improve your life or you would like to know more detail on using the tips contact me through the website or PM me on Facebook  http://www.facebook.com/ConfidenceBeyond50, I can help you to see beyond the overwhelm so you can focus on attracting the next best thing into your life with confidence.

 

 

 

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There Is Another Way… After You Lose Someone You Love Dearly!

 

When a life changing event occurs, a moment in time becomes a catalyst. It is then  your choice whether you make a good or not so good choice.  At this time your world is turned upside down… it is difficult to think there is another way…that there is a future.

 

confidence after a challenge, confdient women, anxious, fearful, scared

 

One moment in time happened for me 13 years ago today on September 4th 2002. That afternoon I was sitting in dappled sunlight on the verandah of  a hospital room with a few close friends and family. We all knew why we were there, conversation was light and inconsequential.

There was an ear piercing ‘Dianne come quick’… it shattered that illusion. In 3 steps I was beside the bed and the man who had adored me for 31 years, the man who had been my husband and cheerleader lay lifeless before me. The evening is a blur to me… the next day I was at the bank at opening time to find my credit card had been cancelled (I did not realise it was a secondary account) and the joint accounts frozen. That was just the start. If you have been there you know how I felt.

Going back a few days I had commented to a friend “I don’t know how I will cope without him’.  The wise friend said – “You will Di, life will be different but it can still be great.

I would love to say that I ‘pulled up my socks’ and did it all perfectly and lived happily ever after.

It took many detours and gaining a new and different perspective for me to start the process. And it was a shaky start. I learned that change is a process not an event.

 

change, porcess, anxious, confidence, confidencebeyond50

 

Today I am living a wonderful life. Looking back I wonder who I was then, I scarcely recognise her.  At some stage in our lives we come to a point where we wonder about how we used to think and act and what made us do things.

It is certain that I would never have traveled the self development path I did had Les still been alive.  It has been a journey, a process with challenges from the miniscule to the monumental. And it has been worth it.

The skills I have learned , the book written and self published, the coaching, speaking, and MC have been rewarding. Observing my personal growth has been extraordinary as has the many women I have helped along the way.  It makes my heart sing when I see the confidence rise in women with whom I have worked.

What I can say is that each thing I have done has led me to the next best thing, each time facing and overcoming greater challenges. I continue with the self development and I can’t see it stopping any time soon.

5 Things I have learned about ‘there is another way’

 

    • Change starts with us – I have learned to embrace change and realise worrying is a massive waste of time and energy.
    • I learned to love myself and know that self care is not an indulgence, it is a necessity. It is a powerful healing and growing process.
    • Forgiveness and gratitude – developing these qualities has given me peace and it has opened doors in ways I could never have imagined.
    • I learned that harmful, habitual thinking and behaviour habits can be permanently interrupted and replaced with nourishing and supportive ones.
    • It is Ok and it is a strength to ask for help – it was up to me to act on it.

 

Thank you Les for being such a positive, loving and supportive partner. I matured and became the woman I became with you help. My life is richer as a result of your being a part of it. My love flows to you as I reflect today.  I also realise that that time has passed, it was wonderful. Thirteen years later my life has changed. I have new perspectives, it is different, exciting and great.

 

Love, acceptance, confidence, loss, grief

 

To the women facing challenges today, this too shall pass. There will be another brighter day. There really is ‘another way’.

If you are feeling overwhelmed after a challenge, and this post resonates with you contact me through the website for a chat to see how I can help. From my heart to your heart ladies…. much love and hugs. Di

 

 

 

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Let It Go!

 

Hello beautiful readers…I am starting today with a couple of questions – just to get you thinking.

 

Have you ever hung on for dear life , come hell or high water you were mot going to let go?

Have you ever said ‘hell will freeze over before I let go’

Have you ever spent hours doing something on the computer and ‘bingo’…it’s gone? Then ranted and raved?

 

My guess is you will have answered yes to one to at least one of the questions.

 

Did you know that:

It takes enormous energy to hang in there, fighting every Universal force’

It takes enormous energy proving you were right’

It takes enormous energy being Superwoman’

It takes enormous energy doing a rant.

It makes your ‘self righteous little self’ shudder in shame’

 

 

Whatever has happened.. ask yourself:

  • ‘Will it matter in 5 years?’

  • Will the sun still come up tomorrow?

 

Yesterday I spent a couple of hours working on a  blog post and suddenly I realised it had disappeared. I could not get it back. in the past I would have gone into a flap, overwhelm, bagged myself for the duration and had a thoroughly miserable afternoon. Instead I simply went on wit other things.  In fact I could not even remember what I had written about.

My questions to  me were:

Does it really matter?

Will the sun still come up tomorrow? Yes it will.

 There are times when it is OK for your ducks not to be in a  row… other times you get them lined up and discover they are not your ducks!

 

letting go, confidence, self esteem, fears

 

Often when we are in that place it is fear speaking, trying to prove yourself to yourself or someone else. We hang in rather than let anyone know we could not do or achieve something.

The hiding does more damage than the hanging on. It either eats away at you very loudly right now, or you bury it and it eats away at you quietly. I would like to suggest that you simply let it go, open up, be transparent and laugh at yourself.

Transparency does not take away it adds another dimension. Take a moment to fully absorb the image.

sure of self, letting go, fears, confidnece

Letting go gives you a release, a lightness it adds to your peace of mind, the tenseness leaves your body, you get to relax and may even laugh.  There is beauty in letting go, embracing the gift of grace and allowing your authentic confidence to shine.

If you feel the fear of letting go is holding you back… I invite you to come and personally experience my coaching program. I would love the opportunity to help you ‘let go’ and step up so you can focus on the next best thing in your life.  if so contact me through the website  or email at di@diriddell.com

If you found this helpful then I would be grateful for you to share this with someone that you feel would appreciate them. Cheers Di

 

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Leftie’s Are Best… It Takes Confidence To Say that!

 

Yes I am a proud left hander, yes I have suffered and yes I have survived and prospered with my sense of humour intact in a right handed world.

Survive you say…would you believe over 2,500 left handed people are killed every year using equipment made for right- handed people.

There is no denying it left-hander’s are out there. However despite being 10% of the population society forgets us. We live in a right-handed world  it is right-handed utensils, cooking and cutting implements that are ALL for the right-handed…

 

confidence, fear, anxious, left handedness, lack confidnece

 

Check this TED-Ed presentation http://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-are-some-people-left-handed-daniel-m-abrams

There are however a few little known facts in our favour.

  1. We hear speeches differently – research shows people using their left hands when listening hear rapidly changing sounds and intonations.
  2. Left-handed Neanderthals were also in the minority. How did they know? The wear and tear on your teeth is different to right-handed folk. By locating the wear and tear on those prehistoric chompers it can be determined if they used their left or right hand.
  3. We are more inclined to shine in the creative arts.
  4. We vote for left -hander’s – a high percentage of recent US President’s were left-handed and it is thought a left-handed politician has an advantage in a televised debate. As a whole we associate the right-handed gestures as ‘good;’ and the left as ‘bad’. On TV it is displayed as a mirror image.
  5. Lefties have an advantage in sport that involve two opponents facing each other such as tennis and boxing.
  6. The sight of us using a cutting or carving knife drives right-handed people crazy…. they can’t wait to hop in and help out.
  7. Lefties tend to like a cold drink on a hot day
  8. The 13th of August is International left- hander’s Day. First launched in 1992 the UK-based Left-Hander’s Club to increase awareness about the left-handed lifestyle.
  9. Lefties are not going anywhere… will we fade away? Noooooooooooo we have been in the minority and being less common we have the surprise effect. Get used to us!

I have even become a member of the left hander’s club…

 

left handers, confidence and self esteem

 

And lastly Di’s reason… it is not good news for anyone sitting on my left at dinner… I tend to help them with their wine intake by picking up the glass on my left. … I am generous like that.  And this glass must be mine it has ice in it!

A touch of delicious wickednessDid you know we are all born left-handed? You turn right-handed when you make your first mistake.

OK I will be good now……and share a few of my left-handed life experiences that…well perhaps I could say they were ‘character building’ and ‘provided opportunities for self growth’.

I felt the breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler hit,  it swished through the air before it came crashing down on my knuckles….as my  5-year-old eyes watered and my hand throbbed …I thought what was my crime? Picking up the pencil in my left hand. I did not even realise it was my left hand because I got confused between my left and right hands. It was simply the hand I used to colour in and draw.

As I sat there tears rolling down my cheeks I wondered why, why, why was it so wrong to pick up a pencil in ‘that’ hand. I had no confidence or self esteem in those days

Today I ask myself did that set the scene for my  unusual handwriting? I often hear the comment…’ It looks neat but I can’t read it.’

Then I saw this image … and what  a beauty! Written just for me I think.

 I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font.

hand writing, confidence, self esteem , left handedness

School experiences… Did this happen to you?  It happened to me and many others who started school in the 1950′s. The excitement of going to school waned quickly as my knuckles suffered on a daily basis.

This ‘training’ apparently was for ‘my own good’  Miss Lowe, the googly-eyed, enormous  frightening teacher. She would tower over me BELLOW. She delighted in pointing out my ‘crime’ to the rest of the class.

That pain extended beyond the classroom. Further torment came during the maypole dance. Each of us round a pole with a coloured streamer and the idea was steps to the left and steps to the right in sequence…I did not remember the sequence, nor which foot to put forward…gee I wonder why????

You can guess what I am going to say…left, left, right and there I would be with the wrong foot forward going in the wrong direction.  Again I felt the  breeze before the brunt of the metal edge of the wooden ruler  as it swished through the air before it came crashing down across the back of my legs.

Imagine doing that to a child today? I know we really can’t place today’s values on yesterdays actions…but that was a tough gig for a kid.

‘Straighten up your page Dianna’ would be the next bellow to fly across the room. Yes like many left handers…I turn the page at an angle to write. So can you imagine there I sat with the book straight, pencil in my right hand….how did I know which was right? By this time my stinging knuckles helped give me a clue.

To say it was pure hell….is an understatement. To say I did not care would be to tell a ‘porkie’ of massive proportions! Thank goodness it no longer standard practice…

Next time someone has a ‘point of view’ about your handwriting…you may like to borrow the phrase I don’t have bad hand writing…I have my own font. And just keep writing…

 

writing. left hand, confidence, self esteem, self belief

If you are a left- hander and of a certain age (how is that for delicate)…I would love to hear your experiences of learning to write and coping in a right-handed world.

Warm regards and I really do love my right-handed friends…Di…

 

You may like to check on me through other channels…

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/confidencebeyond50

Pinterest:   http://www.pinterest.com/dimr47/

 

 

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Procrastination…I Am Doing It With Confidence Today

 

Have you ever had one of those day when there are many things that need to be done…and you find a gazillion excuses not to do it?

 

procrastination lack confidence lack energy

 

I read this definition of an excuse – it is ‘the skin of a reason stuffed with a ‘porkie” Well I freely admit today I have been busy ‘stuffing’ and I have told myself all kinds of ‘porkies’ in justification.

Yes you might have read all this before…think of it as a gentle reminder. We need to see things more than once before we take notice.

 

Confidence procrastination Seeing things more than once

 

The problem is we become so good at excuses… we may even start to believe them.

 

Confidenct about being not confident lack motivation

 

EXCUSE No 1 – I will do it later

Worst excuse ever that gives me a perfect excuse to make a cuppa and then to escape into a book and I did for a couple of hours.

EXCUSE No 2 –  I will just spend an hour on images.

And time laughed and laughed and laughed…I have spent about 5 hours playing in images today yet I have not done anything productive with them.

EXCUSE No 3 – It’s hot

Yes it is – we live in Queensland and I am used to it. I can’t even explain that.

EXCUSE No 4 – I am going away tomorrow its too late to start now.

I could have achieved a lot today had I had a plan. Tomorrow morning I know I will be running round like a hairy goat wishing I had been more productive today.

EXCUSE No 5 – I don’t have everything I need yet.

How many times do we say that we can’t start until all is perfect? We can actually start from where we are now and just imagine how much better you will be when you are finished.

I had my excuses lined up, all my ducks were in a row there.. And I lived up to them with every shred of confidence I possess. When in fact  procrastination zaps your energy and your confidence leaving you feeling  unmotivated and displeased with your day.

 

Let’s get positive as I share my tips…

 

Confidence over procrastination

 

How do I overcome this lethargy, procrastination and lack of oomph

  • Write a list of what needs to be done today and mark them off. Starting with the most difficult. I work best if my list is written the night before. if it is there when I come to the computer I simply start and achieve a lot.
  • I love to work with music in the background that sets the scene and I work away happily
  • Do one thing at a time and complete it. How easily we can flit from project to project. Develop your strategy for keeping you focused.
  • Put a time on an activity. I can play and create in images for hours and hours – like a child with colouring in. Try setting an alarm for an hour. I find it best if I use that a as a reward for myself.
  • Turn off social media and email alerts. Oohh how tempting it is to just pop over and see who that was. OOhhhh you say, how wonderful I will just read that and 20 mins later you are still there. .
  • When its hot stay well hydrated and take frequent short breaks.
  • Keep up the positive self talk – Noooo I don’t mean the ‘Its OK you don’t need to do it positive’.. I mean refrain from the ‘beating yourself up kind of positive’. Actively encouragement yourself.
  • Reward yourself when a job is complete and smile as you mark it off your list.

Finally gather your excuses, embrace them then set them free. Pick up your plan (it may be very different to mine) and go for it. There is nothing like action and positivity to drive procrastination out the door.

I would love to hear how you cope on your days of procrastination.

Cheers and happy overcoming procrastination… Di 

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