Di Riddell - Your Voice Matters

Di Riddell

Your Voice Matters - Confidence Beyond 50

3 Secrets to Forgiveness

Have you ever heard the phrase ‘forgive them’ then thought NEVER, NEVER EVER! Holding onto that unforgiveness can cause you physical and emotional issues years even decades later.
Do you think that person who did you wrong is sitting thinking about it? Not likely, they have moved to some other mischief, and you are left hurting you by holding on and refusing to let go.

Forgiveness, recieving, love, compassion, beyond abuse

As a young teen, I was pack raped and pregnancy and adoption followed. Tough stuff to deal with in the 1960s. Deep down I held that unforgiveness covering it up with being super crazy busy in life. That did help me cope, it covered the pain so I did not have time to think about it.
Then it occurred to me the rapists took one night of my life, I let them take another 43 years. I am sure they were not sitting around 43 years later saying ‘remember that girl’. I was hurting me by holding on.
It took dealing with the grief after my husband passed away for me to make that choice. When I made the choice to say ‘enough’ I started my healing and forgiveness journey. To realise I was losing sleep and holding bitterness in my heart.
Was it easy? No, it wasn’t.
Did it happen in a heartbeat? No, it didn’t.
Did I give up? No, I didn’t.
It started by forgiving myself, that was a radical action. Often the hardest part is to forgive ourselves.
Forgiveness is hard because when I stuffed up I wanted grace, but when someone hurt me I want judgment on them. Judgement is not my call, I have made my peace, they will follow their own path.
My 3 secrets to Forgiveness are

forgiveness, secrest, its for you, all about you, confidence, compassion, empathy love, self love

1. Forgiveness, it is for YOU so you can move on with your life and find peace. You are not condoning or saying it did not happen. You are taking care of yourself.
2. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling and you can begin the process before you feel you are ready.
3. Forgiveness is not a one- time action, it is an active, daily choice. You may need to do it over and over.
Be gentle with yourself, take the time to pray, write, use rituals I find tapping EFT very beneficial. Take your time, take small steps and again… be gentle with yourself.
 Di Riddell author of Beyond Abuse … a recovery guide for men and women in an era of me, and all of us, too.
Di’s book is about helping men and women recover from mental and physical abuse of all kinds. Get your copy at Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D257YJJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_ep_dp_m0G-AbKF47ZDK —.
Are you curious? The forward gives a sneak preview you will need to purchase to get the whole story!!
‘Eighteen months ago I interviewed Di Riddel for The Point TV.
I opened with the following statement … “At 69 she is the picture of health and vitality. A confident woman empowering other women. To the observer, her life has a picture book quality, yet, when you look behind the scenes, her childhood was one of sheer terror and emotional deprivation. For years she was subjected to repeated psychological abuse and lived in fear of her own and her mother’s life. At the age of 15, she was gang-raped and fell pregnant and was forced to surrender the child. It’s hard to believe “happy ever after” is how this story could end. In the first edition of her book Beyond Abuse, Di Riddell speaks not just of survival…but thrival.”