When a life changing event occurs, a moment in time becomes a catalyst. It is then your choice whether you make a good or not so good choice. At this time your world is turned upside down… it is difficult to think there is another way…that there is a future.
One moment in time happened for me 13 years ago today on September 4th 2002. That afternoon I was sitting in dappled sunlight on the verandah of a hospital room with a few close friends and family. We all knew why we were there, conversation was light and inconsequential.
There was an ear piercing ‘Dianne come quick’… it shattered that illusion. In 3 steps I was beside the bed and the man who had adored me for 31 years, the man who had been my husband and cheerleader lay lifeless before me. The evening is a blur to me… the next day I was at the bank at opening time to find my credit card had been cancelled (I did not realise it was a secondary account) and the joint accounts frozen. That was just the start. If you have been there you know how I felt.
Going back a few days I had commented to a friend “I don’t know how I will cope without him’. The wise friend said – “You will Di, life will be different but it can still be great.
I would love to say that I ‘pulled up my socks’ and did it all perfectly and lived happily ever after.
It took many detours and gaining a new and different perspective for me to start the process. And it was a shaky start. I learned that change is a process not an event.
Today I am living a wonderful life. Looking back I wonder who I was then, I scarcely recognise her. At some stage in our lives we come to a point where we wonder about how we used to think and act and what made us do things.
It is certain that I would never have traveled the self development path I did had Les still been alive. It has been a journey, a process with challenges from the miniscule to the monumental. And it has been worth it.
The skills I have learned , the book written and self published, the coaching, speaking, and MC have been rewarding. Observing my personal growth has been extraordinary as has the many women I have helped along the way. It makes my heart sing when I see the confidence rise in women with whom I have worked.
What I can say is that each thing I have done has led me to the next best thing, each time facing and overcoming greater challenges. I continue with the self development and I can’t see it stopping any time soon.
5 Things I have learned about ‘there is another way’
- Change starts with us – I have learned to embrace change and realise worrying is a massive waste of time and energy.
- I learned to love myself and know that self care is not an indulgence, it is a necessity. It is a powerful healing and growing process.
- Forgiveness and gratitude – developing these qualities has given me peace and it has opened doors in ways I could never have imagined.
- I learned that harmful, habitual thinking and behaviour habits can be permanently interrupted and replaced with nourishing and supportive ones.
- It is Ok and it is a strength to ask for help – it was up to me to act on it.
Thank you Les for being such a positive, loving and supportive partner. I matured and became the woman I became with you help. My life is richer as a result of your being a part of it. My love flows to you as I reflect today. I also realise that that time has passed, it was wonderful. Thirteen years later my life has changed. I have new perspectives, it is different, exciting and great.
To the women facing challenges today, this too shall pass. There will be another brighter day. There really is ‘another way’.
If you are feeling overwhelmed after a challenge, and this post resonates with you contact me through the website for a chat to see how I can help. From my heart to your heart ladies…. much love and hugs. Di