There was not a grain of confidence was in evidence…overwhelm, disbelief, worry flooded through me as I sat, pulling my hair out when the computer had a hissy fit, that means it won’t do what I want.

Why had my confidence and common sense deserted me? Because I had just had the most ‘technological terror- charged ‘ evening you could imagine. that night was really really OORFL or awful.

And where did I go…straight to overwhelm, confusion, anxiety, fury? Does that happen to anyone else?

Now I know this would not happen to any of you…but you might know someone who it happens to! In that case, you may feel the urge to forward this on to them. Please do!

stepping up, steping beyond, self belief, self esteem, self confidence

Why, why, why!

And why…why am I bearing all about my computer issues? Simply so it can serve as a timely reminder that we all have little, big, or even gigantic slip-ups every now and again. We reach that place where rational thought disappears… remember this is not the time to beat yourself up so avoid ‘berating yourself and indulging in self- flagellation’.  The Universe will think you love it and give you more computer problems and overwhelm!

Unzipping  a zipper across the face of a girl demonstrating that it is not all about you

Just as a gentle reminder…It’s NOT always all about you! When my late husband was here, he did all the computer work. When had passed away I had a hard time learning computer skills. It was a very steep learning curve.

I used to berate myself and get in a flap because I could not do something. a wise friend said to me, ‘Di could you fix the computer when Les was alive? When I said no, she said ‘then why do you think just the act of him passing away would make you a computer whizz’?

Maybe you can relate to that.

And just how did I come up with OORFL, apart from thinking it was awful? Not my English teacher I can assure you… let’s check out 5 tips to help you when you are having a ‘bad technology day’.

O Overwhelm

R Recognition

R re-choose

F Forgive

L laugh


Have you noticed that life, like confidence ebbs and flows? Do you find life really gets out of control when several things happen at once? This is when we can slip beyond rational thought, get fuzzy-headed and head straight to overwhelm. All your negative projections, judgements and anxieties come galloping forward to join the mayhem.

♥  A tip – Avoid pulling your hair out. Recognise that this is where you are today. Keep breathing, do what you can, take responsibility for you and remember… it’s not always about you.


Aim to recognise that things happen, life happens. If you are starting out on your journey of growth and learning new coping habits, you first need to dissolve the old habits. It has likely taken you 10, 20 30 or even 50 years to get to where you are…change doesn’t just happen overnight. Be gentle with yourself.

 ♥ A tip – be willing to look at your experience with new eyes. Recognise that it is a  slip, not a landslide. Acknowledge your slip, smile and take that awareness as a stepping stone forward.


Just as you chose, yes you did choose to overwhelm…you can flip that. You can now choose a new thought, word or action. That is where the strategies and new habits you are forming come into play. Extra tips can be found on my Your Voice Matters FB page.

♥ A tip – Do something today that your future self will thank you for…work on your new strategies regularly, especially when you feeling positive and in a good space. That creates new habits which you can call on and put them into practice when you need them. If you wait to practice until you are in a drama then it is nigh impossible to make prudent and helpful decisions.


The art of forgiving is one of the most important skills you can learn and it starts with forgiving you. You do it for you so that you can move on with your life. Often we berate ourselves when something goes wrong! Who did that to me? Why does it always happen to me? I never did anything…he did/she did… and the list goes on. Learning to forgive yourself comes from a place of self- love. You will then find it easier to forgive others.

 ♥ A tip – Breathe, let go and release. Forgive and love yourself, it will change your life. Forgive others not because they deserve it or you condone an action…but because it brings you peace.


Have you noticed that when a challenge arises in your life one of the first things to disappear is your sense of humour and your ability to have fun and laugh? If you allow this to continue and sometimes life challenges do come back to back, you may find that you have forgotten how to laugh and have fun. The computer is a piece of machinery, it will get fixed. It’s Ok even imperative that you reach out for help. My FB page Confidence Beyond 50 has lots of light-hearted material

♥ A tip – The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. Take the time to develop the skill of being able to laugh at yourself. Remember whatever happens…this too shall pass.  And…the sun will still come up tomorrow, your technology terrors will get sorted.

The good news for me was when I took responsibility and action using these strategies in my next 24 hours amazing things happened. My technology terror settled and I could think clearly. A check-up from the neck up helped me. that might also apply to you.

If you or someone who know is feeling overwhelmed or your confidence has slipped whether it is technology or something else contact me through or direct on Even the most confident people have days when they feel shattered or things go wrong or they are learning something new.. if that’s you, let’s chat and take the overwhelm away so you can focus on attracting the next best thing into your life.