Where does confidence fit into you deciding what you wear?
A quick question… who do you dress for? You, your partner, your friends or society?
Who are the ‘experts’ and ‘fashion gurus’ who tell us what we should wear according to our age?
When we look and feel great then that is what will be portrayed to the world through our dress, speech and presentation.
Noooooooooooooo they said I am on the wrong side of 60!
Apparently being the wrong side of 60 I am way, way past it! I am officially too old for strappy tops, straight skirts, knee high boots, stilettos and cleavage. That is the short list of no no’s!
Would you believe sequins are OK until I am 90 as are leather biker jackets! Oohh and covering my arms is just right. Lucky me!!!!
So to summarise so long as I cover up, wear a sequin covered leather jacket (covering my arms of course and fully zipped so there is no hint of cleavage) a non fitting skirt and flat shoes I will be just right!
Says who? The words ‘I don’t think so’ are bursting from me as I write
Who is pontificating about what we should wear?
So who is it who can pontificate about what a woman can and cannot wear? The same ones who tell us we will wear red this summer and blue the next? If you like green well that’s just tough.
Isn’t it time we each based what we wear on what feels and looks right for us… what I mean is you make your decision about what is right for you and I make my decision about what is right for me.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying ‘don’t take note’ or ‘don’t have a make- over or a refresh’ of styles (I have just done that myself, I enjoyed it immensely and I am pleased with the result). I am saying avoid being a slave to what someone else tells you about what to wear.
My thoughts are your neck, knees, back of the hands and elbows will give you away every time. So sure take extra care and camouflage (i.e. make the best of) and wear styles that flatter your figure and colouring.
I do not intend to wear opaque tights through summer (one option on offer) or to repeat myself wear ‘the sequin covered leather jacket (covering my arms of course and fully zipped so there is no hint of cleavage) a non fitting skirt and flat shoes’.
Those knee high boots they say will make me look like a Madam! And we couldn’t have that …could we? Are strappy tops, cleavage and bare arms to much for society to bear? The straight skirts and stilettos apparently make me look like ‘mutton dressed as lamb’. It is OK to wear sequins except for ‘sparkle’ on my eyes…that is aging I am told.
Mr Google tells me I am also too old for skinny jeans, body piercing (now we covered that earlier this year and the debate continues whether I did or I didn’t), long hair and red lipstick (try telling Coco Chanel that…and yes I know she is in the heavenly fields, however she was one lady who decided what suited her, she stuck to it and it included red lipstick.
Maybe I am a tad rebellious but I prefer to dress for me. Another novel thought I have is that common sense and a mirror play a great role in how I look before deciding to buy or when I am leaving home. Let’s look at some options.
What to do?
Be your authentic self.
It comes down to your confidence in knowing your style, what suits you and what doesn’t. Then using your confidence to wear what you wear with class and style. To quote Coco Chanel “Fashion changes, but style endures.”
Dressing Your Mind
It always surprises me when someone goes to the effort of looking amazing physically but they forgot to dress their mind along with their bodies. How can you do that?
- Take a mental shower when you take your physical one
- Choose to adopt a positive attitude
- Do your practices, the one’s that work for you – exercise, journaling, EFT (tapping), affirmations, visualisations, meditation, a 5min Daily Confidence Workout (contact me for details) . Whatever it is that helps you get into a wonderful state of mind.
Dressing Your Body
Whatever you choose to wear will look amazing. Personal Presentation is not about radical change. It is about simple steps enhancing the best of you in personal presentation and in successfully promoting you and your business.
What to Avoid.
- Media bombardment – We are constantly bombarded by images of the perfect
- woman with the perfect skin looking perfectly younger. Models and actors are continually being passed over and considered too ‘old for roles’. Some have figures the average woman would die for – yet we continue to listen and to beat ourselves up over not looking younger, slimmer and more beautiful in today’s world.
- Taking on those unrealistic expectations. At some level we do listen… all that scrutiny takes its toll. We can look in the mirror and think we look pretty good for our age… yet a niggle flips the switch and we see and exaggerate our perceived faults. Is that because you are judging yourself?
- Those friends and family who hint or are glaringly outspoken that you may be less than lovely.
It is rather obvious… when you see a mature person who has had work done. They look like a mature person who has had work done. When you see coloured hair it looks coloured, when you see a 70 year old in a 20 year olds outfit…they look like a 70 year old in a 20 year olds outfit…
It is not about eternal youth… it is about aging gracefully. Wrinkles, gray hair and saggy bits are part of life. Work with and embrace who you are, dress accordingly.
We can’t turn back the clock, we can learn to accept ourselves, to embrace the amazing women we have become and make peace with our body. The inner and the outer one.
Develop that quiet confidence in who you are, decide what looks great on you and wearing it fabulously.
Coco sums it up with… “You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.”
What do I think confidence is?
It is that extraordinary energy in you that is attractive, strong, vibrant and engaging. You know it when you see it…and say ‘I want some of that’
What do I do?
I am a Confidence and Presentation Skills Coach. Currently I am running a workshop ‘Speakers First’. I find many women have the skill, know their industry but lack the ability to speak and present themselves with confidence.
Take a moment and ask yourself? Do I feel, look, dress and speak with confidence?
If not…my skill lies in developing your style… your mind and body… so you can shine and be your best… in your business.
Let me help you rediscover your voice… at email@example.com
I would love you to share what influences you in dress and presentation…
From my heart to your heart hugs Di